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776 · Dec 2019
The Flower
Cruz Dec 2019
Have you ever picked a flower
There it stood in the field
Lonely but strong,
alone in a green world
nothing seemed wrong.

When you pull it to you
separate it from the root
It looks so pretty
and smells so sweet
Its beauty no one can dispute

Then the pedals start to sag
Color begans to fade away
It not strong enough alone,
to stand in the cold light of day

You could have had it longer
If you had let it stay,
In the field of clover
Happy and gay
531 · Mar 2020
Cruz Mar 2020
I will live on
And find myself
Buried underneath
All the things happened before you
So I'll dig my way through
Till my heart is clear and true
I'll be ready to love
To say each and every day
So that you know
I've always felt this way
No one else even comes close
They aren't the same
Every word, kiss, and love you
Was never so strong
You weren't wrong
We were ment to be
side by side all along
So I'll love you from afar
Till the time comes and well never part
448 · Feb 2020
Dont say to much
Cruz Feb 2020
To hold back doesn't feel smart
There so much in my heart
But to say it would rip us apart

Or am i just scared
Of your words
What's said cant be unheard

My gut tells me the truth
But it said aloud wont sooth
And probably wont change things but confuse

I want to charge into the sun
To make memories and have fun
Your cookie dough still not done

And I dont have the right to take
what's not mine, or cause it to break
I don't want to be a mistake

So I swallow it down,
I dont want you to frown.
It's a basic poem but my heart is in it
437 · Dec 2019
Wonens Heart
Cruz Dec 2019
So much of her is inside
The trueself we hide
A heart might break
Our soul to fragile to take

There is lock, but no key
Emotions we will never see
If hidden they remain
Your life stays the same

Along comes a ray
To light the way
Its carress tender and warm
The darkness is transformed

It shows you the key
All along it was in me
The choice is now mine
To let all my beauty shine

Should i let it out
It safety i doubt
Inside it will wither and die
Outside it glory will blind

Love and life is a choice
They are given equal a voice
Hearts should be unbound
So they may leave the ground
307 · Jan 2020
The Man I am
Cruz Jan 2020
I am not the tallest
Not the strongest
Im not the best looking
My eyes aren't alluring

I am a chivalrous knight
A servant of your light
Im your true lover
A heart like no other

I may not say the right thing
Not what your friends would bring
I'm not the smoothest
Far from the coolest

My love for you is truly the best
I give you my all nothing less
For you id fight any wars
What i am is all yours
301 · Feb 2020
Dripping love prequel
Cruz Feb 2020
She stares into my eyes
Our eyes are locked hypnotized
She utters the words

You drip of love

I see the every move her lips make
The want of her kiss, does my heart take
She reaches out

She is water of my love

The small caresses brings shivers
Each is like bathing in ecstacy's river
I need to drink of her

We drown in each other, lust, love and light
We emerged drenched

Dripping of Love
257 · Mar 2020
I Run
Cruz Mar 2020
I run so that I can breathe
I run so I can really see
to clear my heart and mind
leave it all behind
I run to things not away
this is just how I process
my way
I run for me
I run for them all
I run so when its time stop
I will stand tall
255 · Dec 2019
Fear to be
Cruz Dec 2019
Would you die
or fall away
maybe it would help you fly
if what you feel you"d say

There is alot of fear
Afraid to be let out
That no one wants to see you bare
to share them gives you doubt

Naked, soul exposed to all
Showing the scars from your falls
Most will turn not truly wanting to see
But you'd be true free
213 · Feb 2020
Dripping of Love
Cruz Feb 2020
You drip of love
The words you say
And the way you make me feel
Even if it's not truly real

Cause though it feds you
And lift your heart upon high
Take away your fears
and makes you seem dear

Its does nothing for me
For every part I give,
I lose a bit you see
Heartaches to relive

So if my poems drip of love
It's truly just my blood
Cause I opened myself
And you took only for yourself
206 · Mar 2020
When i say
Cruz Mar 2020
dont say it lightly
The words arent cheap
Not given to appease you
They reveal my most inner self
Like moonlight silver beams
Breaking through the blinds of your heart
To bath your beauty in my warmth
And make your eyes sparkle like jewels
Are brighter and warmer than the sun
Your body a temple I would worship
The one that has captured my heart
And enchanted my soul forever
187 · Mar 2020
Cruz Mar 2020
They've always been there
Waiting for the right wind
A warm one to care me somewhere
My strong one with a good headwind
The true wind to glide into the heavens
Lept and fallen when I thought it beckon
But it wasn't my wind
My wings scared and battered
Like my heart tattered
But one day they will soar
And I'll be earth bound no more
177 · Apr 2020
Unloved Poets
Cruz Apr 2020
No one truly loves a poet
We are used and dont know it
Our love fills a void
It builds them up like steroids
It envelopes and consumes us
Our passion fired by our lust
They warm their hearts by our fire
Till they are done and throw us on the pyre
We are told that we are like no other
Then they leave us for another
Cause a poet isnt their forever
We are just someone to be remembered
163 · Dec 2019
Not strong, Strong
Cruz Dec 2019
Am I not stronger
Able to take what is mine
I fight through the tears
Words sway my mind

Why do I not stand up
Take what is mine
Will I be weak
Not being smart

Do I let this keep happening
A bad dream that is repeating
Never learning from the past
Not truly knowing who I am

One day I'll be strong
Stand on my own
Learn from the past
Find myself on a new path
(A reverse poem)
Funny how by removing a few things and looking at them differently changes it all.
It's like that in life too, your stronger than you know.
160 · Dec 2019
A Soldier
Cruz Dec 2019
I've always been called a hero
The soldiers life full of woe
Duty bound to a belief
That my life is sacrifice
For others to achieve paradise

Putting their needs before mine
The weight of the world on my spine
Back straight and strong
Giving my strength and my all
Praying that I will stand tall

When the time comes
and I lay my troubles down
They will come and shed a tear
Not for me, but out of fear
That another soldier wont be found
134 · Dec 2019
Blow Job
Cruz Dec 2019
Strong and hard ****
Warm and willing wet mouth
Building, stroking and pressure relief
Bliss kiss
132 · Mar 2020
Not My Tears
Cruz Mar 2020
These tears won't fall
After all
They are yours and not mine
I just got left behind
You took the warmth I knew
Left the husk me dark and blue
But you also left parts of you in me
Jagged pieces that wont let me be
Slice me open make my heart bleed
So these are your tears and blood
I drowned in my lost love
Missing her
125 · Apr 2020
Yearn for Love
Cruz Apr 2020
I yearn for love
Not just any kind
The one that fits
Understands my way
That can be on it's own
And never make me feel alone
Not perfect, but worth the fight
I want to be loved the way I do
Fully me giving all to you
120 · Jan 2020
Your Words
Cruz Jan 2020
As I read the words
They leap off the page
Like arrows that pierce my essence
Ablaze and scorching hot

Each delivers its passion. Heartache and truth
Exposing not only theirs but mine
They spark my writer's soul
Causing me to bleed on to the page

I fill my quiver sharpening every tip
Hoping to do the same
Aiming for their heart and soul
So they'll feel my fire and it will ignite theirs

And as we both bleed
The words flow and we are spent
We take solace in the page
In the knowledge that it shows
Us vulnerable, exposed and unafraid
Your works and words inspire me scripted silence, Larry Marshall, beautifulbroken and  so many more  I could never show how much yall fuel me
113 · Dec 2019
Warrior Poet
Cruz Dec 2019
Warrior and Poet

When you have a warriors might
But have a poets light
Your life is eternal struggle
Most of the time your befuddled

To be hard and soft
dream of love and loss
breath fire and spite
Leads to restless nights

To relish in the blood you spill
Charge up every hill
Remorse the feelings you hide
Pain you feel deep inside

The Warrior and the Poet
Inside him, you wouldn't know it
102 · Jan 2020
Cruz Jan 2020
What I wanted you did not
the dreams I had were not yours
The beauty I saw you closed your eyes
What I tried to share you rejected

There is pain and there is nothing
I wanted the world
but you didnt want me
you didn't want anything
but to feed your underworld

So im lost, and alone
im on my own forevermore
Life will change
i will never be the same

my broken heart
will never beat the same
but I will live on
and find song to sing
and place to cling

and one day maybe you'll see
that I was there for you
that you ran, and thought your were free
but in truth is you just shackled yourself
because sometimes what we need,
is to help ourselves
93 · Apr 2020
Cruz Apr 2020
I am jealous,
Jealous of sun how it warms you
When I long to heat you with my touch
Of the rain that falls on you
As cascades down your skin
Where I yearn to explore and kiss
I'm jealous of each morning
That you awake and I'm not there
Of the flowers that catch your eye
For I long to be your smile
But most of all I'm jealous of time
Of the time I missed
Not knowing my heart could beat this hard
92 · Mar 2020
My Only Way
Cruz Mar 2020
It hurts deep inside
I dont know if will ever subside
My hearts a wreck no end insight
Will someones love ever be right
I'm poet and I love like one
Lovers use me up till I'm done
Left there empty and in pain
Though I say to them never again
The moment the need me
I saddle up and try to be
The man and lover they need
My own words I never heed
I build them and my love helps them fly
But when they're better it's always good bye
Even though I know my love is true
It's not enough for them or you
Fancy houses and new cars
All it cost is you is an empty heart
Or someone that will treat you cruel
But I'll never be anyone crowned jewel
Cause life is real and a poet is a dream
So I live this over and over it's my life's theme
To make you feel true loves warm embrace
And have another door slammed in my face
But I know no other way, I just pray
That someone will love me back one day
91 · Feb 2020
Cruz Feb 2020
Its everyday
I'm left with more to say
My pain never goes away

My words fail me
My heart trembles
My courage unable

No matter what I do
How hard I've tried
It's all pain and lies

But here I stand
All alone but on my legs
You'll never see me cry, and I wont die.
91 · Jun 2020
Time Apart
Cruz Jun 2020
So last night I got lost
Lost in my mind and in my heart
Thinking of the here and now
And time slipped past us some how

Of the things we shared and could've been.
Place and things we've both seen
Memories that don't include you and me
It made me sad, to know we had a life in between.

But i soon found my smile
Because though we've been apart for a while
In each other heart we placed a ember
Something our hearts would remember

All it took was a small spark, and some loving words as tinder
Our hearts sparked and soon we ablaze together
Our time apart doesn't seem to truly matter
Its my future, or ours together rather
That is important and our dreams
Together and in love wherever it leads
84 · Apr 2020
Cruz Apr 2020
This just me
just who I am
It all things that happen
That built this man
When my world crumbled
And my heart broke
The toll it took
I'm not a pawn but a rook
You look to me when it shook
At each stone for cracks and breaks
You didn't know I was broken along
But even broken i stand tall
Never will I fall
Or fail
The ones I love most of all
80 · Mar 2020
Cruz Mar 2020
I can't give much just love
But isnt that enough
I'll give you my all my heart and soul
You never question or not know
Every kiss will be giving with purpose
Not one given haste or rush
All with a personal soft touch
no gesture will be to small or big enough
Everyday youll await how I'll make
Your heart go on its tick or take parade
78 · Feb 2020
My Heartache
Cruz Feb 2020
My heart aches
soul is split
days of sun are done
I tried to love
Took the plunge
Felt the highs and
what lows have done
But to blame cupid isnt right
I put her in his arrows sight
She said it was done, Chose to stay,
even when everything said run
They'll say you made me this way
Truth is I kept the pain on rerun
As if anything I changed
Would bring a different outcome
I knew you were deranged
Recieved pleasure from my pain
This my heartache
The one thing i wont let you take
75 · May 2020
Our Place
Cruz May 2020
Stolen moments by the lake
No longer fighting fate
Our minds wonder what we missed
Its all brought back in every kiss

I lean in touch your face
Suddenly I don't want to race
This the moment I've been running to
The truth us I've been chasing you

Chasing this feeling all this time
The one when I was yours and you were mine
When ours hearts beat as one
It was love, sharing fears, laughter and fun

They told us, it's just not ment to last
That we'd be just blip in our past
But we couldn't just let it lie
It wasn't ment to just die

We went on with life, but hidden inside
Something sought each other out
I typed you replied
In that moment that feeling sprouted

No way we could doubt it
Though we resisted at first
Our hearts would not permit
If i didn't say I love you, I'd burst

One word lead to another
We had to see each other
So here I am lost in our embrace
This now our place
70 · Apr 2020
Erotic and Passion
Cruz Apr 2020
****** dreams
All about you it seems
Your legs wrapped around my waist
My hips pumping strong no haste
My tongue darting in around
I want to hear your moaning sound
My hand quicken the pace
Teasing and ******* i want to taste
Feel my manhood as it pulses
In you, my body aches
I brace
For the release I yearn
My explosion so strong it burns
Filling you with the essence of me
We lay naked and embraced see
How passion and love can be
70 · Jan 2020
Hard to be
Cruz Jan 2020
It's hard to be this way
To give your all
While others wont care or say
Leaves you raw

To love unbound
Lift others off the ground
Just to be weighed down
See them fly to close to the sun

See them pick the bad
No matter what yall had
Dry their tears quell their fears
Just to end up alone

The nice guy never wins
Just pays for everyone's sins
The bad one gets a pass
Good things seldom last

But I refuse to retreat
Let my heart lay at my feet
I'll keep trying love
After all I rise above
68 · May 2020
Real man
Cruz May 2020
What is a real man
Is he tall and strong
But unable to show his heart
Is he mean and cruel
Does that what make men true
If I wear my heart on my sleeve
What does that make me
Though I fought wars
Wear scars and been made hollow
They hold me to different example
To them men never crumble or stumble
But I have done both and my strength is ample
In my mind warriors struggle
And real men show their feelings
To those that are worthy of seeing
67 · May 2020
Hidden self
Cruz May 2020
The saddest thing about being me

Is the parts that don't get to be

That with all I give it wont be recieved

Rejected or I will be deceived

My truth is not just what is perceived

It's the scars on my heart for all to see

The longing to let my heart be free

Broken and battered total calamity

It's the love I've given and never returned

How that make my soul yearn

To find the one that I can let my guard down

And i can really let it be seen

Who this man truly could be
66 · Apr 2020
Cruz Apr 2020
She stands there
In her denim and lace
A devilish smile on her face
Her hair burning fire
She lights my heart's desire
But her true beauty lies deep inside
It's in her heart and it mustn't hide
Though she looks like goddess
She is humble and modest
Her *** appeal is definitely unreal
And I'd have it all, if her heart I could steal
Love that body morning noon and night
I make sure I treated and loved her right
Looking like that she lights every man's fire
And in their lust, they miss the jewel
That is truly you
Beautiful inside and out
a picture inspired this
64 · May 2020
Perfect Love?
Cruz May 2020
What Does it even mean
I've never been perfect
But I've been true
Given what I could
Yes put you in front of me
Even when I knew the cost
I've ripped my soul
I suffered and took your stoning
Paid the price of your sins
Though I had my own atonement
Hurt, pain and lots of rain
They've hide all the sun
It's what I thought love was
64 · Dec 2019
Cruz Dec 2019
The weight is terrible to bear
So much pain and fear
Loneliness, emptiness and despair
knowing that there's noone to share

My heart aches from it all
Like I been beat against a wall
What I knew left me burn and raw
no life line, and no one to call

I just want to have the sun once more
To laugh, love feel it in the core
Just to see the end the shore
One day it will finish, I end the war
Feeling sad hard road
62 · Mar 2020
Rented Heart
Cruz Mar 2020
A heart no one wants
My heart isnt for sale
But given freely
Though some use it to fix theirs
No one keeps it
Your words and deeds lift me
It beats like no other
Sings a soothing song
Still when time to pay the bill
On the shelf my heart stays
Praying to be loved one day
61 · Dec 2019
Let it out
Cruz Dec 2019
One day I may say it all
Let the chips go
See where they fall
Whether they be happy or bring woe

Stand up and shout it loud
Release the warrior, sword in hand
Lay waste to all, take off my shroud
Not just light fires, but be the fan

I've lived in your peace to long
Holding my tongue and light
Never allowed to sing my song
I became gray, losing my bright

Now the skies are turning red
I'm tired of feeling dead
Soon my voice will be heard
And I'll let it out word for word
The warrior slept to long.
59 · May 2020
Poet stirring
Cruz May 2020
What Does it even mean
I've never been perfect
But I've been true
Given what I could
Yes put you in front of me
Even when I knew the cost
I've ripped my soul
I suffered and took your stoning
Paid the price of your sins
Though I had my own atonement
Hurt, pain and lots of rain
They've hide all the sun
It's what I thought love was
59 · Jan 2020
Cruz Jan 2020
The words burn in me
I feel each syllable
As I write them down
My blood stains the page
For what is it I write
If not my fears, doubts, and dreams
The highs of love,
And lows of heart aches
Days I stood in the sun
And ones where there was none
You read them and embrace the poem
Not knowing that it's my soul I'm showing.
The next time you read one
Wipe the page see if it runs red
Or you learn what's in my head
58 · Feb 2020
Weighed down
Cruz Feb 2020
They weigh me down
I've never shown it all
Let their words leave me bound
Took in the pain and built a wall

Your a man, dont show tears
Your a Marine, show no fear
Your a father, not allowed to fail
Your a worker, dont matter if it's hell

I listened to every word ,
though I was never heard
Stone by pain I picked them up
Every day I load them and began my ****

Till I couldn't walk or take anymore
Thought I would just crumble
Myself I had to restore
All of my soul and heart was a jumble

I saved them all, except myself
All it cost was my mental health
But I am letting this load go
A new path, that I chose
I've given to much of  self and finally taking care of me
56 · Mar 2020
Cruz Mar 2020
I Hurt and I can't show it
I bleed but no one knows
I hide my anger and my pain
All of it's so deep in my soul
I bury it deep and pretend it's not there
But in the silence and quiet it finds its way out
There is no hiding and plenty of doubt
The smile hides what's truly inside
The soul is weighted down
If only I could let it go
How high i might fly to places unknown
55 · Jan 2020
Heartbreak in Six
Cruz Jan 2020
I'm afraid I'll break your heart

These words ring true

But only in you

You made a choice

Then and there

To flee if your ever scared

Even if it leaves me broken and blue

That some pain is due

Leaving a mark on my heart

Adding to the scars of this warrior poet

If you could've brought peace to me I'll never know it

Six words cut me down

In the battle for love

One cant stand with you half assed

Be willing to die for me as I would for you

Nothing less undeserved and untrue

Wanted: Someone who isnt afraid
52 · Apr 2020
Running Opponent
Cruz Apr 2020
The sound grows louder
You hear only the patter
Every breath is a test
I will not let myself rest

I see my opponent, his shadow closing in
My body struggles, it pays for my sins
As my mind races to find an answer
Doubt creeps in like cancer

I will not let it bring me down
Block out all of the sounds
All the time I put in, lead to this
I will taste victory's sweet kiss

Of this my opponent will agree
Because my opponent is me
You race yourself
52 · Jan 2020
Never Dying
Cruz Jan 2020
The words pour from me
Every one starts with you
They are never ending
Each testifies to your beauty

They are the fruits of your endeavors
Blossoming on to paper
Filling the pages with my heart
Hoping to touch your soul

Letting you know that every kiss real or sent
Is felt not just on my lips but in my poetry
Because I may die, you may forsake me
but those words will live on.

Everyone that reads them will ignite
And know how I loved you
With touch, passion, with my tongue, my body and with my words.
51 · Apr 2020
Cruz Apr 2020
Sometimes it's not us to blame
Not everyones hearts are the same
No matter how hard we try
They try to bring us down and lie

It's not up to you and me
That evil is in them you see
Make us doubt and wonder why
We are just their pawns you and I

Though we think it's our fault
It us that are under assault
Till we set ourselves free
Release ourselves and make decree

We deserve to have or dreams come true
And from here on out we will chose
How we are loved,
With kindness
Love that is true
And not using us
We deserve real love
50 · Apr 2020
Cruz Apr 2020
Something is missing
I have a hole, in my soul
Your lifes perfect, perfectly alone
All these things and I'm still wishing

A house doesn't always make a home
And a life isn't living, if it isn't fulfilling
Life should be full of passion not reason
I want to be love like a poem

We only have a short time here
And some want money and fame
But nothing compares to loving and being loved
It changes you and your never same

The days are brighter, your smile wider
Heartbeats faster, laughs last longer
You are truly stronger
fulfillment makes it all brighter
50 · Feb 2020
Cold Heart
Cruz Feb 2020
Some days I feel the wind
The cold from all my sins
Days I feel all alone
My heart hardens to stone
I once had days full of sun
When I felt your love I'd won
But it's gone away
So in the bleak I stay
Poets love too deep
The more we give, the more we seek
You knew how to use this
How to get the most and make me useless
Still now the cold breeze reminds me
Frozen heart my heart at least its free
50 · Apr 2020
Cruz Apr 2020
Thunder booms,
Lighting flashes
The ground shakes and quakes
Around you

Some quiver and complain
I sit back and admire natures parade
You think it brings doom and gloom
I say the rain will bring flowers soon

Rainbows don't come without the storm
My heart has been beaten and I've bleed
But I chose not live in the dread
I take in the pain and I transform

The dark into light, and find beauty in the night
Storms never last, memories of sunny days do
Those that hit the bottom, learn to look up
Positivity is what I chose to

Guide my way through the dark
To light my heart
And your way
Come hell or hurricane.
my philosophy of life
49 · Mar 2020
Dull the Diamond
Cruz Mar 2020
The way I feel
Doesn't seem real
My heart pounds
Its says look what you found

A rare jewel in you
Makes me believe in the true
But your beauty belongs to another
Still I polished it made brilliance go further

Captured my eye and my heart
And I tore your world apart
Thoughts and dreams I showed you
What could've or should've been us two

And when you said the confusion made you cry
Well part of my heart just really died
I love your light and hate to see it dim
Especially when they are my sins

My eyes cant seem to look the other way
My heart and soul doesn't want to walk away
But what does love or admiration mean
If you take away from the sheen

If I am not fully a reason to shine
And in him you still are looking to find
And its me that cause your diamond to dull
Then I'll show you true love and go
49 · Feb 2020
Walked Away
Cruz Feb 2020
Wanted to stay
But I walked away
Not because I didn't care
Nor that I didn't want to share
I gave all I could
Probably more than I should
Open myself and held nothing back
Raised you up, confidence you wouldn't lack
Still it wasn't mine to shine
Said it was sweeter than wine
But for every smile, there was also pain
Confusion and what you felt was sin
So though it broke my heart
and you warn me from the start
I left to save your light
But you'll never leave me, try what I might
Cause your love left a mark
And walking away is hard
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