My world didn't end when we did


We both got an "after"


The only difference is yours is happy


And mine isn't over

I needed someone to listen
So I wrote out my mind
Gave it rhythm and rhyme
And sent it out to be heard

I was honest at a distance
And I was happy with that
As months then years passed
For a poet is there anything more?

That's when I met you
You took me by the hand
And the adventure began
A journey without a destination

We danced in the sunsets
We fell with the stars
Orbiting, never too far
Each day rising to new heights

Then I was gone for a moment
And in that distance
There was an instance
When I realized I hadn't been writing

There is a road
you can only walk once
where every left footprint
is the last of its kind
and every new step,
is an adventure unique

For the road we have walked
crumbles away behind, empty
And the path we will walk
has yet to be built, a void
only the place we stand
truely belongs to us

But up aways, far into the fog
a vague light glows bright
calling us to a tomorrow
signaling the end of the road
the turn in the path
onto one that never ends

You need this mountain
This new trial, this next "what then?"
Because a year ago or a few,
This hurdle would've tripped you
Then? You'd have given up or quit
Now? You're strong enough to surmount it

Proof comes in trials every so often
Of how we changed and how far we've gotten

It gives us the strength to keep climbing
To never give up, to keep on striving

If I voiced my pain
Could you hear it?

Or would it be more static
In the white noise?

Once a upon a time
Starts a story into motion
A mild mannered man
Or a witch brewing potion

The story continues on
Weaving a perfect tapestry
A villain gains their power,
A detective now deep in mystery

The last few pages are come
Through all the plot's bending
We know what they will say but stay
Because people seek an....

If you ever wonder how much I love you?

Remember I saw that cliff
Long before I jumped off it
And believed that you would catch me

But you didn't and I broke
And there your heart awoke
And oh my love how you grieved

You put your everything
Into my rebuilding
Until I was whole again

Now I knew the pain
But also how you've changed
So I jump, for belief in a different end

A patchwork of her past
Where pain and joy overlap
In stretch marks and stupid scars
In laugh lines, and inked art

Every sun-kissed spot
And Marilyn Monroe dot
Speak of habits and genetics
Of insecurities or aesthetics

So ask her for the stories
Some funny, some boring
From "I slipped and split my chin"
To "that dare I had to win"

And for others, she flinches
Stories measured in miles not inches
Scars that trace back to the heart or mind
That maybe she'll tell you another time

We may wish some tales weren't written
But nothing's real without dimension
So for all the obvious or obscure we can see
Maybe we should rethink the term "skin deep"

The greatest love I've ever been shown
Was to be seen at my most invisible
And to be loved at my most despicable

It sustained me til I could become
What I thought was impossible

Should I give up on the right way,

When the easy way

Looks to get me there so much sooner?

I wish I were someone
Who never forgot how to smile

But I did

So now I want to be someone
who always forgets to stop

I want to wonder like you do
Why rainbows paint the sky
I want to forget like you do
That last moment you wanted to cry

I want to find joy like you do
In all the little things
I want to laugh like you do
When you dance and sing

I want to be like you are now
Just as I once was
And think the world is amazing
For no reason, just because

When a stick become a sword,
He wields to save the maiden fair.
When a rock becomes a mountain,
He climbs to escape an angry bear.

When the car becomes a rocket,
That takes him beyond the stars.
So when we arrive at the store,
He becomes the first man on Mars.

When the pool becomes a sea,
Where he dives for sunken riches.
Then bests the fearsome leviathan,
Gaining gold to grant his wishes.

His every hope and dream,
Coming alive within his mind.
It’s what makes him special.
Absolutely one of a kind.

You say that I don't see what you see
When you look yourself in the eyes
And you're right because
You've only ever seen a monster in disguise.

You think somehow you've fooled us

You only know the critic, the judge,
The jury, the executioner,
The unimpressed, impertinent nit-picker
And then you look at you and wonder
How anyone can love her?

We don't.

We love the girl who glows
When she sees falling snow
Who wrinkles up her nose
When you offer her tomatoes
We love the girl who chose
To be kind in the face of foes.
Who encouraged others to grow
And become better as they go

So no, we DON'T see what you see
We see more, we see clearer
And we will love you as you deserve to be
Til one day you see the same in the mirror

He would dash to doorstep to greet me
Waving hi with the trees
Making me feel happy

He liked to run his fingers through my hair,
Or gave me a little shove
Making me feel loved

As I walked, he spun and danced around,
With the leaves chasing him
Making me shake my head and grin

He was an adventure when he took my hand
And I felt at home when he held me
He made me feel safe and free

So now I want someone who
Loved me like the wind did

How long?

How long have you waited
For this world so jaded
To see you as I just have?

How long did you look down
Your glow marred only by a frown
Til they looked up and saw you shine?

How long did your heart bleed
Believing you must be ugly
Because they didn't have the eyes to see?

Wait no more
Because your worth,
ingrained in your core,
Is unbreakable when you see it.

I live in The Somewhere
Between here and there
Between indifferent and I care
Between always looking away and long stares
Between brave enough to speak
And if only I wasn't scared

My heart aches in The Somewhere
Between a couple and a pair
Between this is okay and it's not fair
Between broken and repaired
Between brand new to love
And worn-out with ware

Trapped in the middle...I tear
Between being a 1st choice and a spare
Between hold my silence n' clear the air
Between joy and despair
Between a green light and a red flare
Between I'll take this risk by loving you
and really I don't dare

What part of the words on the page
Unravels my confusion
And extinguishes my rage

I could just succumb to sleep
Or peruse a book
Or fall to my bed and weep

But forever and ever I return
To paper and pen
To work away the burn

They say you can't judge a book by its cover
It is arrogant, and stupid and blind
But I can judge a book by its name
Don't object, let me explain my mind

An author wrote this book and these lives
They penned theses glorious victories
Let us and the written experience joy
Then created the following tragedies.

They gave life and adventure
They gave love and loss
They showed what we should treasure
And showed us the cost

I know I can judge by title
Because it is more than a shame
A crime really, for an author
To give the work a half hearted name

Because for every work of art there is
One perfect word or one resounding phrase
But can only be found by skill and soul
One phrase amoung trillions takes the day

"If you love something let it go,
If it love you, it'll come back"

An idea all must try
But what if testing the theory
Leaves me terrified?

One go is all I have.
Failure means a future
Blurred in the unknown.

But I can't live everyday
Ever wondering
if she can't love me.

So I look her in the eyes
Across the mirrored divide
And I let myself go

I let go of my grudges,
Of my criticisms,
And my cynicism

I let her take all my hope
All my confidence
Willing to suffer the consequence

Let the door to my heart
Hang wide on it's hinges
In faith that I'll come back

Once I wondered if I show give my poems to those whom they are about

To show them the pain that leak out of my pen in between the anger and regret

I wondered if giving them my anguish cloaked in paper would free me

Would the ink from the page seep into their fingers and stain them, like they did me

And I want it; I want it like broken glass shards want to cut, to give the pain away

As if additional pain ever made a glass cup whole again, able to be filled again

But then I remembered that I was the victim not perpetrator and I never will be like them

So I will show my pain to the world not in vengeance but anonymity

I'm so glad God
Didn't give me what I wanted

Because what I wanted
Was so much less than He gave me

Because I never could have imagined
Someone as wonderful as you

So I thank God that you
Were the miracle that I needed

Tell me again
Where I am safe again
The house I'm within?
In the crowd of a million?
Anywhere the sun is shinin'?

Do you really believe this?
Because I really believed this
'Til I met those who readily dismiss
The rules on which we subsist
Who turn safety into an abyss

Because that's the thing about being safe,
We aren't the only ones who get a say
And it's not hard for another to take it away

"Home again home again
My my it's been a while"
My old demon sneers
With his sickening smile

"Hope you didn't dream
I'd never come back"
He scowls and snarls
"You're not lucky 'nough for that"

I shiver in shock
Then shatter and shrink
I thought I was free
The only thing I can think

"You aren't free at all
Never were, never will be"
He says, his shadow surrounding
"Never enough to beat me"

Deep in my darkening mind
A little light doesn't give in
Stalwart and small, it says
Not by much but we're stronger than then

The little candle isn't enough
To dispel my old demon
But enough to build myself on
A hope to believe in

When I was with you
Everything was confused
I can never recall
The during, just the fall
When everything shattered
And suddenly nothing mattered
I didn't think it possible
For it to go so Holocaustal
It was only after dust settled
And you were long gone in revel
When I was no longer smothered
That I finally discovered
That you were toxic not I
And all you words a lie
And even though you're gone
My heart still seizes at your song
And wonder if there's a place I belong
When I carry the scars of your wrongs

You changed the climate

With just a passing compliment,

You were the rain,

That fell on an arid desert plain

Your kindness fell on me

And it no longer hurt to breathe

Warning:

Crossing a writer's path
Means becoming part of their world
It means being apart of their words

Maybe as a muse
Maybe as a shade
Maybe as the home
We return to everyday

We do not forget
So rest assured sure, for better or worse
You are somewhere
In all the words we've written

Today I saw a strange, silly thing
The oddest woman I've ever seen
With the tips of her hair dyed all green
Braided and tied at the end with a string

"I love the way you've dyed your hair"
"It's not due to dye" she laughed as I stared
"How did it turn then," I said as I glared
"A forest of evergreens" she said with flare

"Well anyway I love how you did your nails.
The nail polish, all blue like a fish's scales"
"It's not nail polish, it was a blue sea whale"
As if I could ever believe her tale

"Regardless your blush is as good as it gets"
She opened her mouth, to argue I regret
"But wait let me guess, it's not makeup I bet"
Oh that," she laughed, "I blame the sunset"

With green hair, blue nails, cheeks of sunset
And, I saw also, a paint splatter locket
She walked away, a spring in her sprocket
And ten paintbrushes stuffed in her pockets

Your mind is an artisan of words,

Infusing the mundane with fantasy

Crafting dreams to reality



So pick it up like a pen

And write yourself a better story

I know you had to leave
So thank you for leaving
Pieces of you behind
In everything you loved

I'll seek them like a treasure hunt
And they'll find me when I fall
And they'll make smile with my heart
Until we meet again

What is a perfect storm?
Something beautiful? Something wonderful?
Something tragic? Something terrible?

Do you wish it had never wreaked havoc?
Do you wish sometimes it would come back?
Was the magic worth the madness?

I wonder and wonder and wonder
When you left, If you were worth
The world you tore asunder.