I was built like Rome

And burned like it too

And the wreckage was overwhelming


So I focus on the little fixes

Till the tune ups add up and

I can be proud of the person I built from ashes

Even if Misery loves Company
Is it right for them to be together?

What if Misery drags Company
Into an abyss that lasts forever?

Maybe,

But Company sees Misery,
That she was called Joy in days long past.

And Maybe,

Company can remind Misery
Of who is was and Hope can guide her back.

Once a upon a time
Starts a story into motion
A mild mannered man
Or a witch brewing potion

The story continues on
Weaving a perfect tapestry
A villain gains their power,
A detective now deep in mystery

The last few pages are come
Through all the plot's bending
We know what they will say but stay
Because people seek an....

Should I give up on the right way,

When the easy way

Looks to get me there so much sooner?

New Year's Resolutions
Are like letters to Santa

They were more fun
When I was younger

Now I ask Santa for college supplies
And my NYR is to survive the semester

I don't know how to respond
You say so many things
Things that should be helping
but that's the painful thing I'm learning

How can I help?
How are you doing?
What's wrong inside your mind?
How can we fix it this time?

And I don't know the right answer
Because an "I don't know" given in earnest
Enough times repeated, you'll lose interest
but my battle is just as potent, eternally unended

So I think my way down all my maze's dead ends
Looking desperately for a new bend
Until my phone screen goes black
And it's just me, alone, staring back

I wished upon a falling star
And I asked to take its vacant place
As the morning wasn't far

Then the sun would rise and I'd,
Be there, unseen, no one watching me
Finally able to breathe and to hide

There is a road
you can only walk once
where every left footprint
is the last of its kind
and every new step,
is an adventure unique

For the road we have walked
crumbles away behind, empty
And the path we will walk
has yet to be built, a void
only the place we stand
truely belongs to us

But up aways, far into the fog
a vague light glows bright
calling us to a tomorrow
signaling the end of the road
the turn in the path
onto one that never ends

A patchwork of her past
Where pain and joy overlap
In stretch marks and stupid scars
In laugh lines, and inked art

Every sun-kissed spot
And Marilyn Monroe dot
Speak of habits and genetics
Of insecurities or aesthetics

So ask her for the stories
Some funny, some boring
From "I slipped and split my chin"
To "that dare I had to win"

And for others, she flinches
Stories measured in miles not inches
Scars that trace back to the heart or mind
That maybe she'll tell you another time

We may wish some tales weren't written
But nothing's real without dimension
So for all the obvious or obscure we can see
Maybe we should rethink the term "skin deep"

"If you love something let it go,
If it love you, it'll come back"

An idea all must try
But what if testing the theory
Leaves me terrified?

One go is all I have.
Failure means a future
Blurred in the unknown.

But I can't live everyday
Ever wondering
if she can't love me.

So I look her in the eyes
Across the mirrored divide
And I let myself go

I let go of my grudges,
Of my criticisms,
And my cynicism

I let her take all my hope
All my confidence
Willing to suffer the consequence

Let the door to my heart
Hang wide on it's hinges
In faith that I'll come back

The greatest love I've ever been shown
Was to be seen at my most invisible
And to be loved at my most despicable

It sustained me til I could become
What I thought was impossible

I will not walk in the unknown
If we two stand at a fork in the road
And hesitation held his other hand
I'd go my own way, ready to try again

But you were a road less traveled-er
An adventure seeker who was still
Strong and sure enough to be a shelter
As warm and quick as a fire

And now we come to another divide
And I let go of the hand I held so tight
And you walk the middle ignoring either side
Until you crest this hill on high

And this is where I go
As I have always done before

But I've never loved like this
So I'll walk up this blind hill
My heart in hand, red on my sleeve
Flipping the coin on a ring or a guillotine

Today I saw a strange, silly thing
The oddest woman I've ever seen
With the tips of her hair dyed all green
Braided and tied at the end with a string

"I love the way you've dyed your hair"
"It's not due to dye" she laughed as I stared
"How did it turn then," I said as I glared
"A forest of evergreens" she said with flare

"Well anyway I love how you did your nails.
The nail polish, all blue like a fish's scales"
"It's not nail polish, it was a blue sea whale"
As if I could ever believe her tale

"Regardless your blush is as good as it gets"
She opened her mouth, to argue I regret
"But wait let me guess, it's not makeup I bet"
Oh that," she laughed, "I blame the sunset"

With green hair, blue nails, cheeks of sunset
And, I saw also, a paint splatter locket
She walked away, a spring in her sprocket
And ten paintbrushes stuffed in her pockets

Some people believe that there is only a body
There is no soul that can exists once a body
Has given its last breath
Has said it's last farewell
But I know that there is

I know because my body is weak
I know because my body is broken
Because when I am faced with a challenge
And my body is ready to quit
And even mother nature says stop it

Something in me won't give in
Even when my thoughts are trying
To pound their way out, out, out
And higher thinking is going, dying
I fight on dragging my body with

If I voiced my pain
Could you hear it?

Or would it be more static
In the white noise?

On your marks...

Get set...

And the gun fires

Some start the race fast
Others slow
But you can bet that the runners
Around you will change
As the race goes

I've gone fast
And slow
I've tripped, fallen
and even stopped walking.
I was ready for everything

Everything but this
We ran side by side
Not always talking
But always there

Then you were gone
You quit, you left
The race for you is over
But I must run on
Even as my heart breaks
And my feet ache

There is no space with enough space
And certainly no beauty or grace
In these knee-buckling bouts of anxiety
When sanity comes apart at the seams
And crazy doesn't seem a description too extreme

Crazy must be what I am
Because how did I let my life get so far out of hand?
That I'm here, now, melting down like a nuclear plant
Radioactive but not like the hulk or superman
Just hoping I have strength enough left to stand

I believe I'll make it out eventually
But until then
I am the enemy, the survivor
And the battle they fought in

They say you can't judge a book by its cover
It is arrogant, and stupid and blind
But I can judge a book by its name
Don't object, let me explain my mind

An author wrote this book and these lives
They penned theses glorious victories
Let us and the written experience joy
Then created the following tragedies.

They gave life and adventure
They gave love and loss
They showed what we should treasure
And showed us the cost

I know I can judge by title
Because it is more than a shame
A crime really, for an author
To give the work a half hearted name

Because for every work of art there is
One perfect word or one resounding phrase
But can only be found by skill and soul
One phrase amoung trillions takes the day

When I was with you
Everything was confused
I can never recall
The during, just the fall
When everything shattered
And suddenly nothing mattered
I didn't think it possible
For it to go so Holocaustal
It was only after dust settled
And you were long gone in revel
When I was no longer smothered
That I finally discovered
That you were toxic not I
And all you words a lie
And even though you're gone
My heart still seizes at your song
And wonder if there's a place I belong
When I carry the scars of your wrongs

When a stick become a sword,
He wields to save the maiden fair.
When a rock becomes a mountain,
He climbs to escape an angry bear.

When the car becomes a rocket,
That takes him beyond the stars.
So when we arrive at the store,
He becomes the first man on Mars.

When the pool becomes a sea,
Where he dives for sunken riches.
Then bests the fearsome leviathan,
Gaining gold to grant his wishes.

His every hope and dream,
Coming alive within his mind.
It’s what makes him special.
Absolutely one of a kind.

I want to wonder like you do
Why rainbows paint the sky
I want to forget like you do
That last moment you wanted to cry

I want to find joy like you do
In all the little things
I want to laugh like you do
When you dance and sing

I want to be like you are now
Just as I once was
And think the world is amazing
For no reason, just because

How long?

How long have you waited
For this world so jaded
To see you as I just have?

How long did you look down
Your glow marred only by a frown
Til they looked up and saw you shine?

How long did your heart bleed
Believing you must be ugly
Because they didn't have the eyes to see?

Wait no more
Because your worth,
ingrained in your core,
Is unbreakable when you see it.

What part of the words on the page
Unravels my confusion
And extinguishes my rage

I could just succumb to sleep
Or peruse a book
Or fall to my bed and weep

But forever and ever I return
To paper and pen
To work away the burn

I wish I were someone
Who never forgot how to smile

But I did

So now I want to be someone
who always forgets to stop

I live in The Somewhere
Between here and there
Between indifferent and I care
Between always looking away and long stares
Between brave enough to speak
And if only I wasn't scared

My heart aches in The Somewhere
Between a couple and a pair
Between this is okay and it's not fair
Between broken and repaired
Between brand new to love
And worn-out with ware

Trapped in the middle...I tear
Between being a 1st choice and a spare
Between hold my silence n' clear the air
Between joy and despair
Between a green light and a red flare
Between I'll take this risk by loving you
and really I don't dare

I'll never forget the day
When stress got the best of me
And I finally told you my worries

And it was the worst timing
But we still went to that concert
Though on the way up we didn't speak

And then the crowd was deafening
But somehow so was our silence
And all we could do was just be

But when the lights went down
And we realized six inches makes a big difference
And there's no way I'd be able to see

You picked me up
And stood me on your feet
Though it can't have been easy

And that feels more real than anything
Because nothing was perfect
But you still cared for me

We hope for "once in a million" loves
We envy  "once upon a time" romances
But no one knows how to find them
Because really what are the chances?

Ah but we know the chances!
So don't give up at one or two
Or twelve or three thousand and six
For a million tries is worth a love that's true

I fought for the confidence
To say I like who I am

To believe that I am worth the war
And I am proud of this victory
Above any other