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There are too many darks clouds today
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So I turn on sunny-sounding music,
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Close my eyes,
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And dream of summer
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Nobody wants broken people
Their cracks keep them from holding
A job, a love, a life together

Their sharp edges
Hurt the ones who try to hold them from
Giving in, giving up, falling apart

And while they try to fix themselves,
The world moves on, holding its head high
Missing the misery at its feet

The world is splendid
Just become some words exist
And elicit pure emotion like

Sinister and Sundance
Miserly malevolence
Traipsing troubadors
Effervescence and efficacy
Roguish racketeering
Peevish, and prismatic
Incandescent and inundated
Flippant, frivolous, fictitious
Beleaguered and boarish
Opulent and obstructive
Gaunt and Gallavanting
Visceral and villainous
Whimsical wanderlust

A list that could flowing infinitely
And thankfully it does

I pick up my brush
to a paint a master piece
I work on my art
While my art works on me

I paint a women on white
While outside of my focus
The paint holds the brush
And stains me into a canvas

Maybe I can't change the world
But I can change how I see it
And no one can take that from me

So I choose to see the good

Perhaps I am a victim of circumstance
But then why would I give away more
And let another decide how I will react

So I choose to laugh in the rain

Instead of adding to it

I feel therefore I write
Write until I understand
It doesn't turn the wrongs to rights
But peace is the ink that stains my hands

Why can the world

Still fall to ash

When the finish line just barely

Came within your grasp?

I stepped away from the world
To fill the holes in my soul

Only to come back to find
Your life in ruin and strife

I tried to help but you
Couldn't comprehend where I'd been

...So we parted ways...

But sometimes I wonder
How you'd have fared, if I'd been there?

If maybe...it was my fault

You were never looking at me
For there was so much
In the world to be seen

But I looked at you my friend
And saw the world
Through your eyes, like a lens

And saw a place I'd never imagined
In detail or expanse
And caught them in our fashion

A world to be developed
One that together we'd make better
Held to our hearts, enveloped

I thought I was smart enough
Not to fall back in the same hole
So why am I here again? Why,
Do I keep ripping up my own soul?

"Have hope, don't give in"
but here I am again, burned
Stop telling me you care,
I'm tired of watching your back, turned

I'll never belong with you, that's the lesson
Maybe this time, I'll have actually learned

You need love
Like you need air
You can only hold
Your breath for so long.

If you disagree,
It's cause it's time
For you to take a breath

Do you think it hurts more
To suffer in silence,
when an answer is possible?

Or to finally speak up,
to not be understood and
return to a quiet sigil?

Have you ever met someone
And, as you got to know them, thought
"Oh so this is what 'beloved' looks like"?

I have and
Now I understand

I was waiting for my fear to dissipate
Before I let in love and fate

I waited and waited patiently
Til even Time starting rushing me

And now I stand at a crossroads
Of braving love in fear or being alone

So I'll take the right road at the bend,
Fight my fear, and hope to find you at the end

I saw you today
And my eyes were totally clear
I saw you today
And they didn't fill with tears

Because

My heart felt you today
And it didn't ache and crack
My heart felt you today
And it didn't take me back

Because

My hands touched you today
And didn't long to linger
My hands touched you today
And didn't cling to your fingers

Because

My ears heard you today
And didn't hang on the sound
My ears heard you today
And I didn't hear the blood pound

Because

My feet passed you today
And didn't wait for you
My feet passed you today
And didn't run for you

Because

My mind thought of you today
And didn't drag up the past
My mind thought of you today
And told me it was over at last

I wrote what I felt
I never said it was right
Off key notes still ring
And I still hope to be heard

I have never been a social creature
And as such was of a make and model
Of my own refined design
It made me unique but now
As I have let loose the words of my mind
I find it ever harder to remain myself
To distinguish which words are mine and which are manufactured to please others

Sweet kettle scent
And sugar clouds
Blinking color lights
And jaunty music loud

Catch a fish
Off the rim
Pop the balloons
So close try again

Sit and spin
Sit and soar
Sick and dizzy
Let's go once more

From light to dark
Hot to cold
One more ride
Around and slow

Share a secret
Share a kiss
Spy a star
And make a wish

Blue, green,
Red and white
Carnival lights
wink out of sight

The rides all sleep
The music fades
Can't wait for tomorrow
For another fair day

The fireworks soar so high
They burst and scatter embers
Some fall to the ground
Others catch in the black cloak sky
They eat through the fabric slowly
These coals twinkling all the while
But we just call them stars

I was built like Rome

And burned like it too

And the wreckage was overwhelming


So I focus on the little fixes

Till the tune ups add up and

I can be proud of the person I built from ashes

Alright brain, we have time to ****

And a creative quota to fill

It's your fault that words

Make me feel happy and heard

So make my feelings tangible

Something I can hold, something manageable

I can't hold you close anymore

But I'll hold on to our memories
And like you, live my life with zeal

And I'll hold our photos in my pocket
Each one, proof that you were real

And all the pennies you send from heaven
That mean you still love me too

And grasp tight the promise that
In the future, I can once again hold you

Even if Misery loves Company
Is it right for them to be together?

What if Misery drags Company
Into an abyss that lasts forever?

Maybe,

But Company sees Misery,
That she was called Joy in days long past.

And Maybe,

Company can remind Misery
Of who is was and Hope can guide her back.

I set out just as the sky took flame
Walking forward 'til I felt it's heat
Letting it set my anger and I ablaze

And together, we burned
Until the day, to night, turned

You don't have to be perfect to be beautiful

Stain glass is a broken mess
Until it's arranged and aligned
And finally allowed to shine

New Year's Resolutions
Are like letters to Santa

They were more fun
When I was younger

Now I ask Santa for college supplies
And my NYR is to survive the semester

We were a world
"Of grin and bear it"
And of silent pain
Until tables turned, rules shifted

Now everyone speaks
Shouts out into the distance
But with all the noise
Still, no one can listen

There is nothing
like the wonder
A curious soul feels
When they come
To a new idea
Molded in lead
Housed in paper
And filled with
Imagination

I wished upon a falling star
And I asked to take its vacant place
As the morning wasn't far

Then the sun would rise and I'd,
Be there, unseen, no one watching me
Finally able to breathe and to hide

Nothing feels quite the same

As walking through a city

Papered in all the old memories

That made you happy


Where past and present blend

Into a new kind of "when"

I cannot help the blind to see
like my God from up on high
but I can help another believe
light can be found 'neath a clouded sky

I cannot cause the deaf to hear
no matter how hard I try
but I can listen to another's fear,
be the shoulder on which they cry

My Lord can cause the dumb to speak
and free them from their silence
And prehaps I can talk with the bleak
speaking words that may give guidance

Some souls are trapped in the darkest night
And never could I bring freedom
But while the Lord shines out His light
I can show them his great kingdom

Others stumble on their uneven roads
And I cannot be their path
But I can bring them to the Lord's abode
Bringing The Way within their grasp

I wasn't made to raise the mountains,
Or become mighty like the sea
but perhaps I can be a little fountain
saving not the forest, but at least a tree

With words, I am building

A hostel for my wandering thoughts

A house for my happy memories

A home for my deepest hurts

And a castle for my grandest dreams

New Year, but no new you

Just be the same you

Who fails and tries again
'Till your face is blue

Because the year will come that
You see that you’re better than new

You'll be a diamond, no rough
Your worth, finally, in full view

I want to stay in the place
Where the wind holds sway

Where I can whisper my story
And with a whoosh he'll wisk it on it's way

From my cheeks, he'll brush tears
And with my hair he will play

He'll whistle a quiet tune
Until I drift to sleep where I lay

When I was young
I learned of my inky blood
My paper bones, and graphite mind

When I was young
I wrote to please my family
Who loved words even if they were mine

When I aged
And the world grew strange
I wrote for me to understand that time

When I aged
And those words were for me
I was scared to share those precious things

Now I am old
And am starting to share
The words that have been trapped inside

Now I am old
And still young at heart
Wondering if others will appreciate my art

I needed someone to listen
So I wrote out my mind
Gave it rhythm and rhyme
And sent it out to be heard

I was honest at a distance
And I was happy with that
As months then years passed
For a poet is there anything more?

That's when I met you
You took me by the hand
And the adventure began
A journey without a destination

We danced in the sunsets
We fell with the stars
Orbiting, never too far
Each day rising to new heights

Then I was gone for a moment
And in that distance
There was an instance
When I realized I hadn't been writing