Birth, Living, Death.

Life really *****. The sequel: It gets better!

I Love You (the most complicated story)

Who Are You? (amnesia *****)

No More Wifi

Never Give Up!!!

I'll Never Forget  (a loved says before one losing their memory)

I'm So Sorry (a cheater says to their partner)

Everyone Left Again

Im A Fool

Don't Come Back!

Every artist draws or paints the thing that means most to them.
Every artist chooses something beautiful to illustrate, and gives it meaning,
and for me, I chose you, cause out of everything the world had to offer you were what was most beautiful to me.

Hi its me,
the carapace of a person who was once content and happy-go-lucky.
Now i'm a person who every second has to look over their shoulder to feel safe, afraid that if i don't,
my demons might catch up to me in the dark.
Who doesn't grin as much as she should. who has to fake a grin to make sure everyone around doesn't suspect that she's not joyous.
She hopes for a miracle to make her who she once was.

How do you wake up from a bad dream, when you aren’t even asleep? When your bad dreams and reality seem to have the same people in them. You can’t seem to escape from them no matter how much you try, they won’t leave. They’re like flies, always around but when you try to scare or push them away, they seem to fly right back. When your mind has this scary ability of being dark and unstable, and no ones around to hear your screams for help. That’s when you can’t seem to know what’s real and what’s a dream...

The first rays of sunlight shining in,
warm arms caging me in, and
faint chirping of  birds.
That's a beautiful morning told in a  beautiful way,
that everyday of our life is a new beginning.

Catch me as i fall.
Falling from the sky into the deepest parts of the ocean.
descending from life to death.
Letting the ocean rock me to sleep, like a mother would her new born child.
As the sky waves farewell to me.
watch as i let go and forget,
forget who i once was.

These chains hold my deepest darkest secrets,
as it locks me in place.
Each metal ring is a story or secret that's locked together,
never to come apart,
never to be told.
No one seems strong enough to rip these chains apart to free me,
so they must not be strong enough to know my story or secret...

Death is inevitable.

No one can escape it,
not even the innocent can.

Some can choose when death greets them,
but for others it greets them far to soon.

Death wears the same face,
no matter who it takes.

It looms over each of us and smiling wickedly as it choses its next victim.

Its a plagued disease,
going to and from.

Remember when we became best friends?

Remember when you told me that we'd always have each other and no one else?

Remember when you once said that we would always be there for each other,
no matter what?

Remember those days where we could tell each other secrets and actually keep them to ourselves?

   Remember when we told each other the truth no matter what it was or how hurtful it could be?

Remember when all of these things became memories we once knew,
cause you forgot about me.

Or how you weren't there through the bad,
only the good,
and how you went around telling everyone my secrets,
my demons!

You lied, and I hope that if or when you read this,
you'll be able to feel the pain, sorrow, and the embarrassment that I felt when I found out that the one person I once trusted,
with all my pain and suffering decided to put them out for all them to see.

It's like I'm on a stage,
in a cage,
like a wild animal,
for all to see.

All these eyes on me, and the only ones I see ae yours staring back at me.

Do you hear me calling,
reaching out for you help,
while you walk away?

No matter how hard she tried to distract herself,
his eyes were forever burned into her mind;

Hard, yet soft.
Relentless, yet hesitant.
Dark, yet filled with light.
Fearful, yet calm.
Emotionless, yet heavy.

She wanted to understand them,
to understand him.
She wanted to see him in person again,
not just in her head.
But all she could do was dream.

It seems you’ve gone away,
never telling when you’ll return,
and as I watched you disappear,
I new that I’ll be left with the ghost of who you used to be.

Now we’re torn apart, and there’s nothing much to do to fix the pieces back.
Just let me go,
because we’ll meet again soon.
Sending a farewell to my friends,
who are forever at peace.
I’m asking you to forgive me for my sins,
would you please?
I’m more than grateful for the times we spent together,
but now my spirits at ease.

Don't expect mankind to repair you. When you've already been broken way before they seem to notice. When they’ve turned their backs on you, seeing but never really doing anything to help.

I had a heart,
and somehow you manage to rip it out and take it along with you.

I've been sitting at the bottom of my
swimming pool for a while now,
drowning my thoughts out,
cause who i am isn't who i used to be,
and i'm not unconquerable,
and i'm  not breakable.
i'm only a human being,
can't you see the beauty in me?

Its over and done with, I feel so alone now.
This is a type of sadness that I've never known.
How could i let my happiness just slip through my fingers like that? Now i'm afraid this hurt is here to stay.

You made lots of promises that weren't made to be broken.
Yet many words between us were left unspoken.
Tell me how could i know you'd leave me like this.

It's over now and i still hope its been all a bad dream.
I never thought we would end up like this.
Why did I let this happen to me!

My lovely kpop, you inspire me to write.
How I love the way you dance, sing and put your heart and soul into your lyrics.
Your constantly invading my mind day and through the night,
Always dreaming about the wise stories you've told through your music.

Let me compare you to a gentle tune?
You are more fancy and more amazing.
Bright sun heating the blazing month of June,
And summertime has the overgrazing.

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.
I love your songs and personality.
Thinking of your astute songs fills my days.
My love for you is the congenital abnormality.

Now I must away with a chancy heart,
Remember my cute words whilst we're apart.

Maybe it was me who disconnected, like you did years before. But whole hell or high water, I’m stil here, and I’m better than ever....

It didn't take long for the butterflies in my stomach to get stronger every time i saw your name pop up on my screen, the familiar feeling  coming back to me. It happened slowly, like the rain on an autumns day falling down a window, i never thought i could fall for you, too afraid that you'll never catch me. The moment i saw you it wasn't how they described the feeling, like a zoo in your stomach or butterflies, to me it was a feeling that said everything is in perfect place now.

Walking through an empty house,
Memories passing us by, both bad and good, tears threatening to fall, I knew this was goodbye

My memories came back in the form of butterflies flying in a summer breeze. Looking at them closely, see the broken and full butterflies flying near, those are the one that carries the bad and depressing memories, notice how they stay close to me, how many there seems to be. Those are the only memories I can truly remember. They never seem to stray too far. Now looking further are the healthy, bright and colorful butterflies that fly beyond arms reach, they carry my happiest memories. Notice how little in numbers they are?

My dreams are a place of fantasy, its where everything isn't as it seems. Its where I can make myself beautiful. Why? Who knows, but me :)

If it was that simple for you to cease adoring me, than regardless of the love you had for me, I may be stronger off without.

My heart hurts,
but it’s not the heart attack kind of hurt but a heart
broken kind of way.

My heart is full of unspoken pain that’s
holding my heart down.

It’s keeping me from being happy.....
from being me.

My lover is as pink as the evening hour appears, his lips are as soft as a fully grown rose petal, streaked with watermelon underneath willow trees. Shadows that seem to dance around his face as the evening light fades into darkness.

A fire started,
the rain came and put it out.
And in the end a new
transformation came out of the rubble.

I saw the the beautiful demolition of my generation destroyed,
How I mourned the illustration.
I'll never forget the dazzling and delightful illustration.

Pay attention to the discussion,
the discussion is the most theological language of all.
Does the discussion of it all make you shiver?
does it?

Meditation is, in its way, the philosophical value of consideration.
Now woolly-headed is just the thing,
To get me wondering if the meditation is muddled.

I never knew what self love would feel like.
Let me tell you what it feels like to me.
Its when the sun's rays touches my skin, the warm and welcoming feeling  coursing through my veins.  
Like having a hot cup of tea in the cold of morning with the sun barely peeking through the window.
Its the soft laughter in a quiet place.
Its soft curls dancing the the wind.
Its the warmth in watch your child learning to walk, or seeing the deaf hearing for the first time.
But most importantly it looking in the mirror and seeing the joy, happiness and brightness shining in your eyes, looking right back at you!

Her heart was once full, happy, and joyful, it became empty, and dull. Her eyes, once bright have become full of void, and her real smile was nonexistent, no happy, and not real, now just shows how hurt, and depressed she really is. But she’s gotten used to faking everything that it became apart of her.

She’s got so much pain inside her, she just wants to release it. Her head spins, the voices ring. She doesn’t remember how to not cry at night, but hey, she’s smiling, so she’s okay, right?

She fakes a smile and does her makeup,if she looks just fine then no one will care. She acts like she’s fine so no one can tell. She’s smiling like an angel but she’s living through hell.

She’s fighting a battle that no one can see, and she’s the greatest warrior no one could ever be. But who is she fighting that no one can see? The answer is easy; she’s at war with herself and the voices in her head. She’s a mess, but she can’t clean herself if the voices in her head, telling her of all the horrible things in life.

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I cant sleep at night,
Cause there's a demon in my room.
And when I close my eyes
its in my dreams too.

Everyday it’s the same thing being asked :

“Are you okay?”

And everyday it’s the same response:

“I will be...someday..”

The color Yellow taste like joy, and happiness.
Yellow is the sweetness of fresh pineapples.
Yellow tastes like sweet sunflowers in an open meadow surrounded by Tiger Swallowtail butterflies.
Yellow is the freshness of lemonade on a hot summers day.
yellow
Yellow is like the bitter and sour taste of a lemon.
Yellow tastes like a cold  Banana Popsicle.
Yellow tastes like sunshine.

A prisoner in my own mind.
Trying so hard to break free.
Trying to flee a place of void, with no way in, and no way out.
Standing in total darkness.
How can you runaway from the things in your head,
things that you can’t touch or see, but can hear?
That’s the thing, you can’t.
You can either
continue to fight trying to get rid of them or
you for trying to escape.

Under the stars and in the grass,
were crickets chirp and fireflies burn.
That's where you and I lay awake,
while the city sleeps miles away.

Sometimes love is not enough
and the road will get tough,
and I don't know why,
but there's a strength to letting go,
and i have fought the war,
but now it's time to go home.

Watch as the wind cares my anxiety, stress, fears and disappointments away,
Watch as they float through the air lifting further and further away.
Up into the cloud they fly away,
leaving me feeling refreshed and reborn.
Watch as the cycle repeats continually.

Her spirit is wild and free, like a leaf dancing in the wind. To love her is to hold hands and scream with joy on her roller coaster through life.
Art is what she feels like. Sometimes cheerful with bright  hopeful eyes, and sometimes she’s sad but most of the time she is beautifully herself and that is fine.
She is a splendid whirlpool of love and emotion.
She’s the kind of queen that knows her crown isn’t on her head, but in her soul. She’s the perfect example of grace, because shes a butterfly with bullet holes in her wings that never regretted learning to fly.
She’s a beautiful soul who carries light in her smile and love in her bones.
She reads books as one would breath air, to fill up and live.
She gathers books like clouds, and watches the words as she would as the rain poured down a window.
So who is she you may ask, well that’s easy because
she is me!