You would rather your heart
ten times broken
than suffer the torture of gloom
Blank faces in mirrors
hang on dark inner walls
that won't let you leave the room

Believe in yourself
You got nothing to lose
Just hold your head up high
It all depends on you

When I tell you I love you
I am really just saying
I love myself

You don't have to search anymore
It’s okay, I’ll be your company
As we’ll be dreaming under different skies
Cloud nine resting , still, we can settle,
My embrace will be your home,
Your eyes will ground me
This feeling, our only battle

There are no songs to express my joy,
So I sing them all in glee.
There are no songs that feel my sorrow,
So silent I will be.

lets pour one out for the kids
who never quite grew into the
“mature for your age”’s and
“pleasure to have in class”’s,

glowing futures hanging from
bony frames like a shirt
a few sizes too big

the kids with molten
gold praise spilling from their skin,
beautiful and
searingly painful,
how icarus must have felt when
the wax ran in rivulets down his back
and the sea opened up to swallow him whole.

the world isn’t so kind to these cookie dough kids
whose edges dont quite fill
out the cutters designed for them
who have no one to blame but themselves
and no one to turn to either.

where do you go when you’re suffocated by
the shadow of places you could’ve gone?

I want to sleep,
but at the same time,
I don't want to.
I want to be engulfed
in empty headspace,
swimming in the darkness
of a dreamless void,
but at the same time,
I don't want to spiral deeper
into the unforeseeable
nor remain stagnant in desolation
because I know
that the longer I stay here
I would no longer
want to leave.

I want to sleep,
but at the same time,
I don't want to.
I want to drown all these voices
belonging to my insufferable demons,
their eerie whispers
seeping through every crevice of my mind,
but at the same time,
I don't want to feel the fear
that comes once I wake
and when I open my eyes again
because realization
would often dawn on me
that every single one of them
is here in the real world, too,
only, I can see them now
and it horrifies me to my very core
that they each hold the face
of somebody I love.

I want to sleep,
but at the same time,
I don't want to.
I want to bask in the deafening silence
that welcomes me when my eyes are closed
and my mind
with the hurricane of my thoughts
are just put on hold,
but at the same time,
I don't want to,
because I know all too well
that this peace I am granted
whenever my mind is shut down
is only ephemeral
and I'll always be forced out of it,
a never-ending loop,
a vicious cycle,
and I am a fool
for thinking that every time I wake,
it would be different.

Fair to say I wanna be tall,
Standing 5’3 but I’m not picky,
I just wanna see over the forestry.