Myla and Bryson
I never would have named him Bryson anyway
Imagined them playful, smiling, loving
an essence of us
Imagined green grass and a fence to keep
The dog in
Imagined late nights, tv is the only light, as we cuddle
Shining on our family
Happiness
But there is no Myla or Bryson
Nobody’s playful, smiling, loving
There is no dog
There is no family

Love is not the beautiful
                 fairytale I was told
It is crazy highs and lows
                  that leave me dizzy and sick
I am laughing and crying
                   and on my knees
It fills me and empties me completely
                   and I am so tired

Light pours out of you in waterfalls
You are dripping with it
Leaving puddles of brilliance in your wake
Most people are blinded by it
But I am drawn to the light
Like a moth to a flame

Please don't get mad at me.
Please don't go away.
Please just stay here with me.
Please tell me it's okay.
Please just hug me tighter.
Please don't let me go.
Please tell me you love me,
That's all I need to know.
Please tell me that it's normal,
Even though I know it's not.
Please tell me everyone goes through this,
That it's not just my soul that rots.

I don't know if I can go much longer.
Please help me catch my breath.
It seems all I ever think about
Is fear and tears and death.

Just try to understand me.
Please, I know it's hard.
But if you saw what I can see,
You'd see all of the dark.