I change when I'm surrounded by people
I change into what they want me to be
I feel afraid and think that they'll leave
and I never believed in myself and in what I can be

it was hard for me to form a decent relationship
kept pushing people away from the real me
So, I'm sorry for behaving so unkindly
now I know the importance of maturity

and now I'm trying my best to keep ahold of me
I don't want to lose myself once again to my immaturity
So, I will keep being me even if it means I will be lonely
but I promise that from now on I'll always give my best to ones who will stand by me

from now on, I will only change for what I believe in
not because someone else wants me to be
and create a future where my dreams are fulfilled
Turn my fantasies into reality

I'm a pill-popping demon
you haven't seen before,
that's cause I'm always behind a smoke
and this ain't a joke
I have tried everything from smoke to coke
All that remains is for me to choke, on my own *****, you *****
I don't see a way to recover from this *******,
So, I'm just gonna keep snorting this **** until my heart has a hole
I guess the end isn't far, as I have started to cough up blood
And soon, I will be laid beneath the earth
and the search for freedom will also be over
Cause I'll get rid off all the scars that kept me locked up

Drowning in my Sorrows with Whisky and Nicotine
I swear I’m in trouble when it’s pouring rain
Shedding my tears by this highway lane
Somebody help me, Oh help me to ease this pain
I swear I was a better man When you were next to me
If you are not there then what’s the point of it
I’ll get up tomorrow again with a smile on my face
I’ll put on my mask for the world, but I’m not myself
Till then I’ll light up again, baby I know
Cigarettes won’t **** me but this loneliness will
I swear I was a better man When you were next to me
If you are not there then what’s the point of it
I hate to admit But I was young and a self-centered *****
I’m sorry for throwing a fit
And now I agree we were a misfit

At first I thought I was in love with your beauty

But even after all these years, I still remember your warmth

What else could it be?
If not love!

I haven't been by your side the last couple of years and maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time dealing with life all these years,

Step back in my life, Love!
Let me sleep peacefully at night

Take away the monsters that took a hold of me
You are the key that opens the door to reality

Let me breathe in it,
let me live in it,
make me trouble free!

Turn my fantasy into my reality!

It must be gratifying
to know who you are,
It must feel extraordinary
to go on a journey
to find yourself.
I can't make you love me
when I don't even know myself,
In the mirror, I saw my reflection
but all there was, was an imitation.
Burning deep within was someone
full of anxiety and fear who chained himself up
and was afraid to let go of this facade

I have caught this feeling
and now I'm healing
but all these sorrows that I buried deep down
are now coming back up again
I'm too close to relapsing
I just can't seem to relax in
So, I drive to your house and you let me in
I started berating and creating a mess
but you didn't throw me away like the rest
So, I thank you for putting up with all the mayhem I made
And now that I'm fine, I'm glad that you are by my side

I feel like death is near me
I don't know why I feel so happy
I don't want to end this way
But maybe being confined and lonely has made me go crazy

I don't want to keep on living like this
I want to feel the love and warmth that I had when I was a kid
I, I can't go back home cause I made a promise that I have to keep in-order to help my family
I, I can only sleep, at least in my dreams I'm free from my cold reality

But now, now even my dreams are playing games with me
Showing me things that I don't want to see
Is there any way out of this misery?
Cause I don't want to keep on living like this

Dear lord, please forgive me
For wasting the time you had given me
Give me one more chance to break free
Cause There's still so much left for me to feel and see

I, I don't want to end this way
Just give me the strength to fight through
Till I reach my destiny
I, I don't want to be alone like this
Help me find someone who'll take away all my miseries

We have been through a lot
The ups, the downs and the twist and turns and  whatnots,
but I'm still a stranger in your world;
I prayed for your love, I asked to be a part of your life,
And our hearts now beat as one;
But I'm still a stranger in your world,
I know it's not your fault;
But it still hurts my wound like salt,
Sometimes I feel that I numb all these pain with alcohol
But this past indiscretion of mine is what haunting us all
Now I feel strong enough so I don't fall, and soon enough
I'll stand tall and
That's when you will make me a part of your world, once and for all
And I'll stop feeling like a stranger in your world,
Lonely and small;
Sweetheart, that day is not far away when you will proclaim me to the world as the one,
Till then I'll just hold on and fight everyday and remain strong...

I'm struggling to find the right words
or else I'll be left alone in the world
it seems like everything I say or do
don't have any effect on you

all I want is for you to live
but all you got in mind is to jump off a cliff
and end your life without knowing what is bliss
Oh! please help me find the words
that will help to connect our worlds

cause we have been alone and without a home
for way too long
And the world has treated you wrong
but it won't go on like this for long
cause from now on I'll be the shoulder you can count on
And we will make each other strong

No matter what you say,
The memories of your love stay with you
slowly creeping from behind
in the back of your mind
influencing every choice you make
no matter how hard you try
all of those memories keep you tied, tied to the past
you see her walking by with another guy's arm around her waist
this rage fills you up and you wanna twist their necks
you look yourself in the mirror and you see a monster you haven't seen before
it smiles back at you and you fill fulfilled
The one you once called your beau has now turned into a **
And you walked through a black door and fire six blows
painted the door color red then the cops came and said he should have been on meds
but it's too late cause he's dead
this is the tale of an insane, who evaded jail
and is now in hell

I have been smoking outside
In this cold harsh winter's night
Thinking about the lies
That I have said to get you by my side,
All these plans that I had made
Is now full of regrets
As the cigarette burns away
It reminds me of how you walked away
I swear I will change, I will change for good
If you give me one last chance
So, darling don't think twice
And fall for me one more time

Lately, I have been thinking about that time
When I had that needle in sight
And now the plight is gone and the pain is mine
And There's nothing in this world that I won't leave behind

Started with one hole now I got four
Decided to live life with rock n' roll
But It got hard to be normal

Locked myself up in the room
And started to feel that blues
Death was starting to give me clues
And that's when I decided to switch to *****
But that wasn't enough to replace my muse
Always Needed something to cool the nerves
Oh! Until love came in and it mend my heart

love wasn't enough to break the curse
came back to this hell one more time
everything I thought of up until now
Had me in chains and got me to bow

Met my friend behind the dumb,
By the street filled with scums
and next thing I knew I was saying wow
And followed the road, that leads downtown
To search for more and calm down
But man, what a big let down

I'm sorry baby, I was confused
but I promise This is my last excuse
cause this is the last time I'll misuse

If I open up
Darkness oozes out
The voices keep getting loud
And doubt starts to creep in

Don't know if this is real or is it fantasy?
Is this really me, that I see?
Or is it a dream?
So it seemed

So, what's this thing that keeps bothering me?
It talks to me
But nobody sees
What I feel...

People say you only go up when you hit rock bottom
But I guess that ain't true for me
I have been lurking in the bottom of a barrel from the day I was born
born into a family of misfits where fights between families seemed fit
didn't get hit physically but mentally was malnourished
every opportunity of escape I found, took me deeper into the barrel where the light wasn't visible
and it seems the plan to live peacefully isn't feasible or doable
all I can do is curse my luck
but I know from time to time even I ******* up
What could I have done, when there was no one to back me up
I'm tired of climbing this endless barrel alone
so instead of getting old
I should end it while I'm bold

Somewhere far away
there is a scared girl
standing on the rooftop
trying to escape from her troubles
she is holding back her tears
she is holding back everything
trying to look strong for the world
but inside she is fragile as a leaf in autumn
Oh I wish I could say to her everything will be all right
but the truth is life is unpredictable
with many twists and turns
I wish I could swap places and bear all her pain
and I wish I could put a real smile on her face
and I know that day is not far away
so don't you worry my dear
I will make everything clear.

this place is a mess
It doesn't make any sense
I have to, take a guess
What happened to my ******* nest?
hey, who the hell are these guests?
and why are they sleeping in my bed?
why can't they see me scream?
are these people ******* facebook memes?
how did this house of one become a house of 4?
one is a ****, the other two are dumb and the third one is broke
hey! no one can live like this,
everyone needs a little bit of bliss
and I'm not even sorry, because I dissed you, you *****
you ***** should just go home and leave me the hell alone

I have a scar in my heart
That cannot be gone
And you came over
and reminded me of what I lost
I don't think I will be able to break this curse
Oh, love! I have accepted my lose
The remainder of my days I will spend on this lonesome road
Writing a book just to feel less alone
But then again it only reminds me of how you were gone
I'm not the first one to live on this road
Many a great soul lived here before
Although some lost their way on this road
But I hope this labyrinth of a road leads me to the place
Where my heart will find its peace.

Take me to the side
Where I don’t have to fight
A place where I don’t have to be high
To fly like a kite
A place where I don’t have to wait till the night
Just to see your sight
and stay with you at all the right time
A place where I can call you mine and dine with some fine wine
cause on this side, you are not very kind
because over here all you care about is how to hide from your lies,
guess I have to take my goodbyes
because I'm tired of your denies
So goodbye my love, I'm sick of being just a shoulder to cry on

Somewhere far,
Somewhere bright,
Is a place where I want to travel to And
Leave all these miseries and sorrows
For a brighter tomorrow;
For I’m the one who’s life has been a ride full of adversities and hardships and now
This heartache is getting too much for me to handle
If this goes on, I’ll soon turn mental
Oh! Lord, please be kind and gentle
And take me to a place where it is transcendental

I have fallen for you
and to tell you the truth
it is not the first time that love has charmed me
unlike before, I'll try my best work things out with you
just say "yes" once and I'll come running towards you and bring nothing but peace for you
even if you don't say 'yes' I'll keep on making you smile
because you are the reason that my face still has something to smile about,
unlike others, I'm not loud
but my poems tell my heart's tale, so don't have any doubt
and take a leap of faith and be together till the end.

I don't know how to ask for help
So, let me write about it instead
Feels like I lost myself
Somewhere in time, repeating the same mistake
Now is it too late?
I ask myself that question every single day
Wish I could go back to the start
And bowed down to God
Asked for forgiveness, before it started to take a toll

I was beginning to lose hope
Started to use more to cope
But even that wasn't helping me to elope
My sad thoughts, you know

That's when I started to know
That God is merciful also
So, why can't we understand that we are his creation too, you know

So, why can't we stop hating each other, yo
Why can't we stop blaming each other, you know
Why can't we be a little patience, you know
We just lost a generation, you know
We are getting murdered by our own ignorance,yo
Let's think about the future and let the hatred go
Let's learn to forgive and claim peace and justice, so
Life doesn't feel hard no more