My breath shortens
it gets harder to breathe
I feel like cutting
I wish I was at ease.
My dad says he understands, but I think not.
Because if you did, he wouldn't be calling me a girl.
Why hasn't he, I thought.
My mind is screaming at me
WHY WAS I A GIRL
WHY CAN'T I BE A GUY
WHY CAN'T I USE THE BATHROOM WITHOUT BEING SPAT ON
WHY CAN'T I HAVE SOMETHING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS
WHY CAN'T I HAVE NO *******
WHY CAN'T I HAVE FLAT HIPS

Her lips are soft and pink
Her milky-white thighs, smooth to the touch
Her eyes a beautiful shade of blue.
Her hair, combed.
Perfectly even.
If only she could see how beautiful she was.
She doesn't need pasty-white wings to be an angel.
She doesn't need to get her ***** bigger to look hot.
She doesn't need make-up to look perfect.
She doesn't need slutty outfits to be loved.
I wish she would just love herself all the time.

I don't know what I did wrong.
Don't yell at anyone for something "I did".
I hope your happy with yourself.
Tearing people apart.
Hurting the ones that care about you.
Turn people I care about against me.
Turning my friends against me.
I hope you are happy.
I hope you make Erica happy.
I hope she knows about how bad of a person you are.
Biting your tongue.
Clenching your fist.
Smoking your ****.
Crushing your pills.
Spreading your lies.
Devil's tongue.
You're a sociopath, I believe.
You can get anyone to believe your twisted lies.
I even got down on my knees for you.
How pathetic was that?
I don't even like you as a romantic or a ****** partner.
My lips touched yours.
I touched the devil's lips.
I felt the devil's warm embrace.
I guess he is called the devil for a reason.

Jeremiah, I'm sorry.
I've heard you are trying to ignore me.
I don't understand what I have done.
I'm sorry, I don't deserve your respect.
I'm sorry if I have ever been rude.
Honestly, you are a really cool dude.
I have respected your wishes and have stayed clean for almost 3 weeks.
But it doesn't matter, not like you'd care that I am so weak.
I hope you are happy now.
I wish you best of luck.
And do me a favor and ask Lilly out.
I ship you two so much.
Do me another favor.
Please hit me in the face.
I deserve it.
I'm such a disgrace.
I'm sorry if I have ever embarrassed you.
I hope you are okay.
I've been such a bully to you.
Please Jeremiah, don't ever leave me
Just stay <3

I wish you didn't drink
because when you were drunk
you never gave a ****.
You hit me hard
leaving me a pretty bruise.
It is a pretty color.
Mixes of purple, green and maroon.
I try to stay happy at school.
If my tears were bottled, they could fill a pool.
I'm worried someday that you will get arrested
and get my baby brother taken away.
Not like you would realize he's gone.
You're always drunk anyway.