I told my heartbeat not to beat
To hold its breath in quietness
And keep its chest in evenness
I told my heartbeat not to beat
And yet it has betrayed me still
By not being even but in a mess

[at seeing you]

My heart knows no hatred
My loss no existence
There is only snow, and ash, and rain, and waters flow
In this directional way no more
I am contented and lost
Happily there with what I do and do not know

Would I say it then
If given the chance?
And risk the inevitable nothing
Would you

Give up all the unknowing and happenstance
To be with me alive
And for more than for this one instance
In mind

If yesterday was just a blink of an eye
And a new future we could hold creates itself
Would you?
Would you be mine

This is my body
I think
You see some days I am not sure
Because it's covered in opinions and handprints
That do not belong to me
And they are dripping all over this better life I am trying to build

- Was this supposed to be winning?

And in
this
moment
I find
you.

there is
a magician
in your
eyes
that performs
for
me.

and as
your hair
brushes
across
your face,

time
stands
still.

so all
of the
universe

takes
notice
as you
pass.

and the
colors
that are
you ,

bleed
through
me.

knowing
their
way to
heart.

and under
this Capricorn
sky

I confide
to nomad
stars.

and every one
and everything
that is
in the
universe
or ever
was,

and like a
child,

I whisper

your name
up into
the night.

finder"s
keepers...

loser's
weepers.

and I
will

never
give
you

back.

It hurts to be this empty.

It hurts to long this much.

All I ever needed from you

was a loving touch.

Maybe a smile

a laugh

kindness

But I was met with harsh words

and cold blue eyes.

~k.hem