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 Dec 2020 Paula lunken
Colm
Put my ghost to bed already.
It's half past two
and we
are neither of us, young.
My ex stopped by the other day, and my not being near by for once kind of paid off. Because her visit seemed all too inclusive for me. Almost rude to her CURRENT to even mention our PAST. Like, really? Five years of silence and then suddenly a vocal hello? RIP ancient memory, I put you out of my buried mind about five years ago. Why didn't you do the same?

So yea, that was Monday hahaha.
 Dec 2020 Paula lunken
Colm
I told my heartbeat not to beat
To hold its breath in quietness
And keep its chest in evenness
I told my heartbeat not to beat
And yet it has betrayed me still
By not being even but in a mess

[at seeing you]
I love [this]
 Dec 2020 Paula lunken
Colm
My heart knows no hatred
My loss no existence
There is only snow, and ash, and rain, and waters flow
In this directional way no more
I am contented and lost
Happily there with what I do and do not know
https://youtu.be/U289oHsEe6Q

I really struggle sometimes. To pause the thought, to be in the moment, etc. But this song really gets me for whatever reason.

So? So I gift it to you. Have cigar. Even if you don't smoke. The taste of life is what really matters.
 Dec 2020 Paula lunken
Colm
Would I say it then
If given the chance?
And risk the inevitable nothing
Would you

Give up all the unknowing and happenstance
To be with me alive
And for more than for this one instance
In mind

If yesterday was just a blink of an eye
And a new future we could hold creates itself
Would you?
Would you be mine
https://youtu.be/TS1c_sRqUrY
This is my body
I think
You see some days I am not sure
Because it's covered in opinions and handprints
That do not belong to me
And they are dripping all over this better life I am trying to build

- Was this supposed to be winning?
I write this poem
Because I have a question
A question I have been wanting to ask you
From the day that I met you

We talked and talked
Shared songs
Spoke about jobs
Read poems
Talked about school

We spoke with each other
Through messages
So I never got to know your voice
Your way of talking

You might see where I am going
So I'll ask it directly
Will you meet me
Over a cup of coffee?
 Nov 2018 Paula lunken
Napolis
And in
this
moment
I find
you.

there is
a magician
in your
eyes
that performs
for
me.

and as
your hair
brushes
across
your face,

time
stands
still.

so all
of the
universe

takes
notice
as you
pass.

and the
colors
that are
you ,

bleed
through
me.

knowing
their
way to
heart.

and under
this Capricorn
sky

I confide
to nomad
stars.

and every one
and everything
that is
in the
universe
or ever
was,

and like a
child,

I whisper

your name
up into
the night.

finder"s
keepers...

loser's
weepers.

and I
will

never
give
you

back.
 Nov 2018 Paula lunken
Kyra
It hurts to be this empty.

It hurts to long this much.

All I ever needed from you

was a loving touch.

Maybe a smile

a laugh

kindness

But I was met with harsh words

and cold blue eyes.

~k.hem

— The End —