The Battled Prayer


Angel of God,

My guardian dear,

To who's God's love?

Commit me here.



Ever this night,

Be at my sight

To light and guard

To rule and guide.



Yes! You guarded

But, I still fled.

Yet, you let me;

Have my false dragon head.





Shackles unlocked, but my legs are tied;


Ropes let lose, still I won't hide.

Picking up the pieces of what's left of my pride

I threw you away

Oh! How you cried.



God heard you scream in hurt and failure

I moved away as my filth got heavier.

You begged to stay but I stood as the barrier.

Patiently, you waited to be my savior.



Night after day, like the wind over the clay

I stayed up waiting, while you kept telling me to pray.

I shut you up looking for a needle in hay;

And, all you could say was “every dog has its day”.



Today I woke up feeling empty and bare

Looking for that Angel. But, you weren’t there.

Nonetheless, I gave a ****;

But, the food was left cold and even the ham.



Days gone by, I haven't seen my Angel dear.

Days turned into years, but not a savior near.

Who will rule and guide, and light and make clear.

All, I could see is a lump of meat, when I looked in the mirror.



Sleep ceased couple of years back

Samurai brothers, all are shoved in the old sack.

This lump of meat that moves with a heart ivory black.

Still, every moment spent, I am taken aback.



Now here I am back where I started,

Where is my Angel? Did I take you for granted?

Staring at the empty photo frame,

This is over the wall, a little slanted.



My Angel dear, why aren't you here?

I am here but I miss my puppeteer.

Something is missing inside,

The vividness seeped,

I thought of myself as scalped-sharp seer.



I don't have something;

I am missing that totem pole.

It used to reside as my Angel with me,

Then it dawned on me, my Angel took my soul.

Burn me down as you like
Break my soul to your fullest
Fight me and tell me how I failed
Burn my nerve because you are ruthless

Take my heart and squash it like you do
Tell me things of hatred and woo
Fail yourself for you see me;
Bending and breaking all for you

Stroke that nerve I warned you about
Burn my rusty and ***** glove
Hate me for my existence only
Take me out, tonight fully

I loved you then
I love you now
You burned my life
What else will you do now?

Oh , love of mine
My eternal flame
You took my soul
And my war game

Do songs of wonder bring you near?
Do the broken smile tell you tales?
If you saw my heart beat and my love
You know by now what prevails

Rainbows and cherries wrapped in a bow
Soft hands and berries all in a flow
You made me feel, and you made me kneel
And, now you have become my Achilles' heel

If you ever look back and see me there
Know I breathed and counted fair
My vices are my friends of care
If you only you knew how to be there

Love of mine, you took me places
But, left my hand and made me trace less
Love of mine, if you ever hear me
Listen closely, and feel my plea

You were my King of gold and silver
You burnt me down and made me shiver
My King has lost all his glory
Taking me to the path of an understory

So it’s you again

Begging for the mercy and

All the ‘pathy’s’ one can give.

Life is just nothing but;

The chasing of Ball and chain.



Mundane affairs take up too much time

But the day ends not here;

And I pack all the pieces without fear

The drowning guilt takes me a little deeper

But, now I am stuck with this tune and rhyme.



While I abstain from myself inside

You just don’t ******* give up do you?

Crowds are poison ivy even when alone in them.

Another wind chime that bangs across my face.



Take my hand? I won’t give it.

Walk with me, I’d throw you across.

Talk to me, I’d pretend you don’t exist.

Feel me; I will let you see the depth of filth.



Then my saving grace, you came to me

I tear your guts apart and

Wear them like a medal around my neck.

I walk away and

You pull me back with your heart.



So, Mirror mirror hanging on the wall

How is it you catch me every time I fall?

Is it the vicarious smiles or

The glares that meets not the eye.

Or the pride of emptiness and the room full of lies.

Is it fortune or fame?

No it’s not what she wants.

It’s the freak to whom you can talk.

She is me, and I am she.



Every move makes the sublime wind.

But, my baby’s at home,

And I walk away with pride.

I am not coming back for I made my mind.



They call it sin for I see it nothing but a win.

Every ****** takes me to a place I call home.

Every touch makes me want it even more.

So, see though this naked desire.

For it shed every cloth for the simple fire.



Fill me in with every drop

Take me away to another world.

Bring me down for I care for you not.

A million times before, I have it again.



I have the stuff that you want,

Look me deep in the eye

Another ***** tale you will bury.

For, there is nothing but the open sky.

Leaving it all out with the dirt

Round and round around the mulberry bush

But, just a wrong kind of place

Just a little pull and then the right push.



It’s not what I would do

But not a cheat to face the demons in you.

It’s a small crime.

So is that all right?



So maybe there is a God above.

Or maybe not.

Not the cry that you hear at night.

Just profoundly in the ‘right’.



So now it’s running through my head

Every little thing done and said.

Take my hand now,

Take my life now.



This is not enough

Seems like all I have been doing is,

Break bread and glorifying me.

So I try to forget.



So let everything burn

While I sit in the corner and not weep.

Left all the promises that

No one seems to keep.

So, here we are

In our secret place

I saw you that day

But I hid away.



You walked me by

Slow as the wind

But, that was too close;

And, you looked away.



If I dared to let you in,

Was always up until;

The point where my head didn’t just spin.

Then one day I did; and history was made.



I never wanted to see, how you feel

Never dared to show you, the ‘me’ I lived with.

Now, here we stand, in our secret place

And, you gave sense to everything and time stood still.