Kindness

Be a little kinder today
Offer more patience
Give a little more
Love a little deeper
Smile a little bigger
Hug once more
Appreciate what you have
Let those feelings lift the world out of darkness
Keep the faith
Kindness has power
Believe

I let the light fade away,
to chase an unattainable dream.
My thoughts assail the blistering glow,
a silent echo of what I know.

I wander the endless fields of lore,
never looking back, nor doubting more.
For I have embraced my truth at last,
and paid the price for sins long past.

Now, this once empty shell stirs to life again,
clinging to old habits, reliving the past.
Only time will tell if my penance was in vain,
or if redemption still lingers beyond the veil.

the girls I danced with
I never wrote songs about

the girls I kissed under bursts of fireworks
I never won carnival prizes for

the girls I entered the sheets with
I never made a deeper connection

the girls who gave me their best
I never understood their motives

and I wondered where they all went and
why we parted ways like cathedral doors
and why they took the hand of other monsters and vanished into the night.

I was too naive to notice
all the red flags waving behind me
and too dense to turn around
and open my eyes.

but now I face this dry vacancy
and I see they’re
intertwined with their domestics
constricted with their marriages
taunting their husbands
commanding their boyfriends
obsessed with their photo albums
cramming belief and guidance into their children

its the same unabridged story
told over and over
and over and over
again.

I too, sit with this adverse outcome:
this one wants me to quit drinking
and that one wants me on a diet
and this one wants me to get a better job
and that one wants me to exercise more.

I’ve never been one to rest on my laurels,
but as I lay down in this bed with this one
like so many buried cold beneath the Earth,
I can’t stop thinking of those angels from my past that have flown off into other heavens.

I was never deserving
of their time nor
their presence

and I am neither
here nor
there.

I am sitting in a café by the street
I am scene watching
People coming to and fro
Coats and hats on
Scarves around necks
It’s cold outside
Winter

Seeing what is going on outside
Watching the people inside
Sipping coffee
Eating breakfast
Smiling and laughing

People from all over
Different languages in the air
Baked goods on display
Like valuable jewels

Trees full of oranges decorate
Fountains nearby against pink
Crisp day
Sun brightly shining

I am scene watching