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 Jun 20 rick
Archita Chakma
There comes a moment—quiet, unceremonious, unmarked—when the person you loved, the person you tethered your life to, stops being who they were and becomes someone else entirely, someone harder, more distant, a stranger occupying the same body, breathing the same air, wearing the same clothes, but not looking at you the same way, not speaking in that tone that used to pull you in like gravity. And you try, at first, to ignore it, to pretend it’s fatigue or stress or something chemical, something repairable, reversible. You try to will him back into the person you fell in love with. But then you realize he’s gone. Not dead. Just gone. And there's nothing you can do. No apology, no touch, no cry in the middle of the night will resurrect him.
So you mourn. Not the way you mourn the dead. No one sends flowers. No one visits. No one tells you they’re sorry.

Eventually, you accept the most difficult truth: he is still alive, but he is no longer here.
You become fluent in restraint. You learn to keep your sadness contained in respectable proportions. And yet, it spills- into mornings, into coffee spoons, into phone calls you don’t return. You perform functionality, but inside, something is collapsing.
You realize the breaking doesn't stop. It finds new corners of you to shatter. It digs deeper. It makes room for more pain in places you thought had already been hollowed out. And this is when the past starts to rise, not as a memory, but as a presence, thick and heavy and suffocating. You find yourself in that same room—your mother’s room—years ago, where she cried into her pillow as if silence would keep you from hearing, as if the walls weren’t paper-thin, as if children don’t always know.
And now you are her. Crying into the same silence. Except there’s no child on the other side of the door. There’s just you. And the you that once was. The child that never left. The child who learned early that love could vanish without notice. That people could stay and still abandon you. That pain could be inherited like old furniture—passed down, room to room, woman to woman, until no one remembers where it began.
People tell you time heals. They say it with such confidence, as if time were a doctor, a god, a parent. But you know better. You know time doesn’t heal; it accumulates. It stacks the pain until it becomes indistinguishable from the rest of you. Until you forget what it was like to live without the weight of it.
You live inside them. You decorate them. You fold laundry in them. You raise children in them. You tell yourself you are functioning. But really, you're just surviving grief on a loop.
And in your most honest moments, when no one's looking, you admit it—not aloud, not even in writing, but somewhere behind the ribs: you are still that helpless girl. You never stopped being her. You only got taller.
No, not soft, molten.
Bubbling up, from the bottom
Of the deepest sea.

Birthed from two mothers
The sea and the land
Unfolding so steadily

Still Maleable
Held with hot wet pressure in
Steamy open sea

Building and growing
Until slowly firmly piercing
Grasping surface

The land that issued
Forth from molten earth and sea
Lovely and fertile

Verdant and tender
Paradiso Consensua
It came to be known

A place where all life
Can feel welcome and be known
Peace and love for all
A friend told me to elaborate on the original haiku.
 Jun 20 rick
AUSTIN FIELDS
Little Ariel, with green fins, red hair
do you know hat your voice will take you anywhere?
She reminds me of a time, before things fell
I pray to the lord he’s not sending me hell.
But I don’t believe so, this time a new song plays
I believe this is part of the key however, whenever this time and place

lastly I’ll say—
God? Do I have a blessing on the way?
 Jun 20 rick
Frances Raeburn
I love you
and I always always
probably will
I need you mostly
against my will
but still
I love you
and I always
always
probably
always
probably
will.
 Jun 20 rick
Abby
Devaluation
 Jun 20 rick
Abby
you used to look at me
eyes sparkling like diamonds
i took those blue stones
hoped no one would find them
but i saw you look at her
with the jewels you gifted me
now i clutch them in my pockets
mourning the worth that used to be
 Jun 20 rick
Lyteweaver
Lay down your defenses
You will not be able to resist this
Put away your weapons and take down
your protective fences
It's wasted energy to fight what's
pulling you
Discard your layers of armor
This arrow already penetrated your heart
Drop the shield trying to deflect
kindness coming your way
Lift off your helmet
to make room for your crown
Your spear is useless now
Here you stand naked and bare
willing to accept this love you've found
We can be warriors
Stronger together
An unbeatable pair
Fighting demons
Slaying dragons
And leading a path to victory with
the energy
we share
The question is
"Do you Dare?"
I disgust myself
I am filthy in the head
I wish that I was dead
I'm hurting
I am disgusting and revolting
I hate my skin
My guts
My mind
I hate my thoughts
How they rewind
I wish I could turn red then purple then blue
Or red then white and charcoal
Maybe even stain one half of a tub red
I wish I could forgive
Don't forgive me
I am disgusting
I am revolting
I am everything wrong with our head
The 101 slopes like a spine bent too long.
Camarillo yawns wide in the morning hush,
valley stretching slow, hills bare-shouldered,
fields glistening, half-asleep, half-prayer.

Lemon trees blink slow, bruised gold in the mist.
Figtrees call a name behind a rusted gate.
Sagebrush whispers gossip through chainlink,
its breath full of stories that outlive the tellers.

To the east, the nursery stirs,
plastic sheeting *****,
row tags flutter in the wind.
A thermos, abandoned, rests by a wheelbarrow.
Mud boots, discarded,
stand like sentinels
against the wood plank wall.
No footsteps follow.
I never asked where they went.

Matilija poppies raise their paper-white heads,
and the raspberries, furred with morning dew,
shiver, just slightly,
as if remembering friends
they were no longer allowed to say aloud.

A coffee roaster hummed somewhere distant,
low and steady, warming the wind.
That scent I never could shake,
burnt and sweet.
I could almost belong here again,
but it’s not mine without them.

I worked inside this valley with my back.
With my knees.
With the same hands,
now soft on the wheel,
muscle memory steering roads
as if nothing ever left,
as if the ghosts still ride along.

I pass a strawberry field, stitched in silence,
no voices rising in laughter today,
no corrido escaping from a shirt pocket radio,
no teasing between the furrows,
no calloused hands tossing tools,
only the soft ticking of irrigation
and the hush of work
that now waits for no one.
This silence has been swept, labeled,
nothing out of place but sadness.

I was here with them,
but only as a pair of eyes,
that never opened wide enough.

The strip mall stands like a broken promise,
painted stucco, faded western wear,
alongside roadside markets
missing the opening crew.
Still, the hills lean in to listen,
velvet green with memory,
quiet as folded hands.

Even now, under this sun,
the dust knows who knelt here.
Who sang into the rows,
who fled before sundown,
their names erased from the ledger
but carved into the earth.

And in soil’s hush, their names still root and rise.
In the aftermath of the immigration raids, the migrant workers I knew in Southern California, especially in Ventura County, began vanishing overnight. Faces I shared shifts with, broke bread with, waved to across the nursery lots and strawberry rows, disappeared without a word. Their absence is not abstract, it’s in the empty chairs at the diner, the shuttered produce stalls, the silence where songs and stories used to rise. These are the hands we rely on, the hands that shape the harvest, and now they hang suspended in uncertainty. The fields remember them, even when the papers do not.
 Jun 19 rick
Ian
Question
 Jun 19 rick
Ian
if all of earth's creatures were blind,
would color still exist?
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