I need not say,
because I look in every way
perfectly imperfect.

I say things which I don't mean
and I don't say those I truly mean
I am still in the making
wobbling with words
learning to handle pain
trying to balance my heart
amidst breaking and surviving

I am not striving for perfection
because that is not my intention
I am messed up,
Insanely sane
a puzzled game
unbecoming who I am
again & again.

All I ever wanted was for us to stay
Just the way we were
Lying under the stars
When we were young and in love

Your mood changes
Like the second hand on a clock
My hour hand keeps moving
But I just can't keep up

For a moment
I took a leap into the real world
to make connections
feeling affection
but soon enough
felt afloat
on superficial sea of emotions
I ran back to find solace
in the erratic lines
of poetry.
Neither life is straight
nor my poems
but at least I can see
my true reflections
in the poetic aberrations.

Enclosed mind is messing up
the emotional wires
entangled between love and not love
ambitions, expectations and happiness
victim of brain as well as heart.
Once you have loved
love will never leave you.
Between right and wrong
the true and false,
my heart is falling apart
ripping my brain off,
losing soul, blood and pain
making me all numb.
How hard I am trying
to remain in the box
but mixed emotions
making a curry like a medicine
intended to cure me
but instead making me sick.
I am somewhere in between
love and not so love
giving up and holding in
between life and not living.