If only had the world allowed me, to be myself..
I didn't have to sit alone, besides my shadow,
didn't have to hide from the world my true aficionado
If only had the world allowed me, to be myself..
my eyes would have been filled with shimmers and not tears.
my nights would have been filled with dinners and not lonely beers;
If only had the world allowed me, to be myself..
my arms didn't have to wrap around to hug my shoulders
my sanity wouldn't have been judged by apathetic beholders
If only had the world allowed me, to be myself..
I would have had the courage to express my love for you..
life would have ended up colorful and not in blue..

I didn't realize I loved you.
Not when you saved my life
Or when you drove me to hospital and stayed up with me all night
Or when you grabbed my hand because you saw my pain
When you knew I had troubles and helped me change

You were my family at all those soccer games
You always came and screamed my name.
I didn't realize I loved you, though you knew my whole life.
The only friend who looked at me with pride.
The only person in the world who'd seen me cry.

I didn't realize I loved you, no not at all.
Until that night, in the kitchen, alone with you last fall.
Watched you laugh at my stories, the ones you'd heard before.
Saw those eyes of yours that marveled and never seemed bored.
Heard you hum the same song you did every day and smirk when you saw me looking your way.

And when you burnt your fingers on the stove and put them to your lips to cool.
Never, have I envied anything more than those fingers, in that moment with you.
And you didn't pull away when I took them in my hands, and kissed each one.
Felt your heartbeat as I whispered in your ear, both us of coming undone.
I didn't realize I loved you but I knew it then, In that moment,
My skin on your skin, Whispers of love filling the room again and again...

i love you i love every breath you take i love every sound that escapes your lips as i kiss that spot between your jaw and neck i love the way your hands touch my skin, no rush, nothing to prove, nothing but pure love braiding itself within my heart and reassuring my mind i love the way your voice sounds in the morning when sleep is thick in your throat and your eyes are heavy

i
     love
              you
please
     please
              stay

His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.

I'm in a dark place
But it's alright
I'm just resting my eyes
From the glaring light

                             By Phil Roberts

There are sweet dreams which sometimes lead
To sadness and pain which sometimes bleed
Into a strange and eerie beauty
Causing the heart and soul to swell
Hovering between heaven and hell
And the deepest shade of blue
Rolls over the infinite truth
Of the sensitivity of being

                                       By Phil Roberts