Disoriented faces timelapse by as I trudge my way to school.
The old women over there carrying a Fairway bag
Her grandchildren are visiting her for the weekend.
The women  attempting to refrain a smile
Her boyfriend is going to propose tonight.
The young man carrying a briefcase and rapidly walking
He is on his way to his first day at work.
The little boy carrying a backpack that is larger than himself
His mom packed him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
A million faces timelapse by.
I wonder what my story looks like to the grandma, the women, the boy, the man.

i wish you didn't
exist
i wish someone with such a unique personality
was merely fiction
i wish that prepossessing face of yours
wasn't real

i wish i could
turn the handles of the clock
in reverse
so that i would've
never met you

why did you have to casually
saunter into my life
and fill me with felicity?
like it was nothing
like i was just another experience

and completely ignore me
and shut the door, our door
as if you were content with that
as if we were strangers again

i hate you
for making me
fall in love with you
sheerly, by being yourself
why couldn't you be
chicanery and lies

writing this makes me
want to talk to you
but at the same time
i want to ignore you
like you did to me
until the point
that i almost doubted
my very own existence

and i never thought that
i'd be doing this
because
i tried it once and failed
miserably
but this time
i'm determined
i will maim and forget
everything that you were once
worth to me

and the sad thing is
you probably won't even care
because there are so many
other people that adulate you
just like i do
you're probably used to
all of this doting

i should've known
before falling in
much too deep
into this dystopian nightmare

being in love
with someone that couldn't care
any less about you
makes you feel inexorably forlorn
and dense
and just worthless
so now i know what to do

i'll look back to this
every time you visit my reveries
i'm closing the doors
and they're going to stay shut
forever

You left me trembling with your words....

I'd give up everything
just to make you content
but it isn't my fight
or my gift to give

You gave up everything
without even looking
or acknowledging
what others would
give for you

We gave up
because we thought
we were selfless
but reality can lie
to you

Oh sweet, sweet thing
How are you so perfect?
But oh my dear
How are you so blind?
Don't you see all the hearts
Resting in the palms of your hands

Oh sweet, sweet thing
How do you not know?
And oh my dear
How can you be so oblivious?
To the simple facts around you
That I am slowly falling for you.

Oh sweet, dumb thing
Why don't you get it?
I know all of your secrets
I see all of the hearts
I know where you have confessed
Your love to lie in the hands of another

Oh dumb, stupid thing
Why have you not changed?
You do no good with my heart
You hold it so carefully
But only in one hand
And although it feels comfortable
It's odd to know that a wing span away
Sits another heart in another hand
And someone with another hope

My dear, sweet thing
Can't you see?
You have chosen to pick the
The wildflower in all her
Undone glory
To care for but you have
Forgotten your vase is full of roses

And flowers die without a place to be held.

It only takes 8 minutes for light to travel from sun to moon,
and just a second more to reach your eyes,
but I swear in that moment I  d i e  sl o w  l    y
like a distant star ebbing, I still reflect your light
though we both know that I died years ago

That never once stopped you from trying to mend me whole, but in the end
sometimes the cracks are too big to fill,
and some hearts develop leaks, always taking more
than they're able to give, forming little black holes
that consume your light and
leave you feeling empty inside

So please, cradle me now
in arms that once held me as lover
and etch these words into the stone, that
now plays the part of heart

I loved you then, I love you now, I'll love you forever.