There always seems to be a small gap, never filled in

A void that aches with the pain of perpetual nothingness, it seems

As if being a good person to others isn’t enough to take it away, or fill it

Letting the stigmas of selfishness hold us back, from the realization

That we forget whom we must always love first, every day


**Ourselves

Every time my heart beats for you now
It tampers with the richter scale
Of anxiety within me.

And provokes the wake of a tidal wave
To swallow it
Within a rip tide of depression
And sweep me out to an emotional ocean
Without a paddle in sight.

I'm too far out
I can only use my hands
To get back to the shore I can't see.

Beyond heart broken, and time remains frozen
Hanging off an intangible edge, holding on
To what feels like emptiness, I’ve lost it
Me, myself and my eroding shield of skin
Is wearing thin, along with my hope
Wearing paper thin, i’m transparent like a ghost
Feels like only my being remains
Since my guts fell outside my body a while ago
Falling, and I’m still watching them fall endlessly,
**** this because I still feel it, it’s never ending pit of pain
My heart has collapsed within itself
Yet has preserved hers to make me remember
Every moment she told me she loved me
Scarred within my pupils, when I looked into hers
I almost want to forget, how real it was in the moment
So I could never tell myself it must’ve been a lie
All along, I guess I could say I felt it somewhat
Denial is dangerous, so keep a second opinion handy

Life. Such a small word, yet remains vague and unanswerable to many people. A word which concurrently breeds curiosity and fear inside a simple mind that continuously runs wild with questions. A word who’s meaning can only be defined as a never ending cliffhanger, leaving you with the gut aching suspense of a never resolved story. Controlling our lives like a marionette puppet with the strings being attached to the four characters L, I, F, and E. But alas, we are all blinded by the light paved into the road we created ourselves. A cracked road filled with the seeds of our generation, aided in growth from our blinded light with ambitions of reaching the sun. We give our seeds a warm reality, which sparks the blossom it’s wanted to expose to the world, the reason it was given a chance as a seed to begin with. Some people look at what that flower has to brought into their lives and cherish it, while others hide around a dark corner with harsh opinions and rationalizations. Around that corner a cold reality is approaching, causing a cherished life to be cut short. That life though, it never dies. For before it shriveled up, it did something amazing. After that flower blossomed, a gust of determination carried the seeds of it’s knowledge throughout the world to be seen as inspiration. Inspiration, and to once again ambitiously sprout from the crack in the road we’ve so blindly created.

Written to my girlfriend, after a single rose I had given her managed to stay alive and flower long after it was supposed to die*

Our lives differ no less than from a flower
What keeps us apart is it’s destined power
A power that starts its life as a seed
Seeking the light and the love it will need
Ambitiously growing with hopes to one-day find
A reason for living, leaving inevitability behind
For a flower is subjected to a cycle of life
Experiencing the inevitables of love, death and strife.
Some flowers have a will power of their own
To stall their cycle, having death remain unknown
For when that flowers see’s something that it likes
It will hold out for longer, no matter what strikes
Like being brought into love, a flower holds out longer
To see the relationship grow, and get even stronger
Watching two people connect, with no strings attached
Seeing true love unfold, remaining unscratched
Satisfied it holds out, even through the death of it’s flower
Pushing itself to stay alive, even if for an hour
For it has hope for someone, so it must reply
By showing us beauty in something, will never die
Using it’s last bit of strength, to be optimistic
It starts to grow again, as if it were mystic
Leaving two lovers to be astounded by this miracle
They put aside their differences, until they are wrinkled
These flowers of course are brought to us by fate
To show us beauty in our love, before it’s too late

Saying I love you, such a verbally pretentious myth
Three words that always please the one you’re with
Known as a phrase of truth, or just a fall back
Since finding someone real, is like a needle in a haystack

So how do you know, if someone is being true?
It's easy, just watch the things they do
For actions always speak louder than words
And helps you determine a person’s standards

When you hit an all time low, and need advice
Do they reach a hand out, or try to entice?
Offering you true feedback, and not just pity
To build your character from low, to gritty

Are they by your side, through the decisions you make?
Or do they give off vibes, as if they would forsake
Do they give you support, to help your character develop?
Through the best and the worst, even when you’ve grownup?

Do you feel you need to dress up every time you see them?
As if you didn’t, you would receive nothing but condemn?
Or do they see through looks, as if it’s a thing of the past
Making a low self-esteem, become nothing but an outcast?

Love is something expressed by more than words
It's peoples actions that reveal the honest and cowards
Any body with a brain can repeat a phrase they’ve heard
Until you understand the true meaning, this phrase should sound absurd