Let 'em hear ya in the cheap seats
In the nosebleeds

Trashed and thrashed
The stove heats up the whole house

The beauty pageant is being judged by those who have been bribed and the biased

There's no room at the inn
To the barn, I guess

Ring in the morning
As today's hectic schedule chimes in

The chimney sweep preforms rhinoplasty on a bobcat
And sends windup toys to Goodwill

I christen thee, Backwards!
Here, take this seven leaf clover for good luck

There's a town somewhere up north off of route 54
It's cheap to live there, but I wouldn't recommend it
It's streets run with greed, ****** and sin
The people there are devoid any sense of ethics
It will leave you all shocked and breathless
Welcome to the neighborhood
Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"

The mayor has been in office for six terms
And in his cabinet are members of the mob
Whose fronts are local mom and pops
Where junkies like to hang out
While a mugging of an eighty four year old widow takes place around the block
Welcome to the neighborhood
Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"
       -Tommy Johnson

The youth are all in gangs that **** each other
Delinquent dropouts doing drive by's
Defiling untouched regions between innocent women's thighs
Girls making appointments for back alley coat hanger abortions
As some hate group constructs homemade bombs

Welcome to the neighborhood
Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"

Diseases and food shortages
Rotten government cheese and unpaid mortgages
Call the department of health and human services
Life here is unbearable mercilessness  

Poverty and violence
Money and bullets keep those who might talk silent
Here it has come down to a simple science
The spineless **** the non-compliant for their defiance and they lay lifeless by the hands of those who commit viscous acts so mindless

Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"

You may ask, "where is God or the police?"
They're doing their bi-weekly patrol
And they're both on big brother's private payroll
There is now law and order in this contaminated area
It's an unkempt, repugnant pustule in the middle of the caked-on face of America

Welcome to the neighborhood
Where you board up your windows and doors then double check if they're locked
Where you can always hear some one screaming
"Stop"
"Stop"

What has happened to poetry?
It's just some topic of study in English class
Remember when it was important?
When it was used to express real feeling and thought, to provoke and evoke, to paint beautiful pictures with words
Now it's "***** ****" it's "gay", "a waste of time", "tldr", "I don't get it"
People say it's too hard getting published
"No one will ever see this", "I'll never get known" And the ones who do write with hopes of getting published are either humble and talented craftsmen of words who no one takes time to read or appreciate
Or pompous, pretentious poets who use relatable themes to gain a larger audience but give them nothing of value
Nothing to hang their hat on, a plate with nothing to eat on it
I object o shock value, boring sonnets, stiff forms, Hallmark sentiments  and predictable works
**** them, poison these "writers"
Slice their bellies open, break their hands
Shoot them in the throat
Make them drink our ***** as an act of penance and save this art form and bring it back to light, along with insight and intelligence
      -Tommy Johnson

I remember it well
As if it were yesterday
We geared up and set sail
And embarked upon unfamiliar waves

It was I captaining the vessel
With One-eyed Sven my quarter master
He could cut throats and roll pretzels
His weapon of choice was his bow caster

This wasn't a mission of plundering
That alone left the crew in a state of wondering
No, we weren't looking for buried treasure
But for sheep skin seat covers and Scandinavian leather

My first mate Mr. Obanion said to me
"Captain are we off course?"
Then my boatswain , Wiley asked sheepishly
"Aren't we going for *** and ******?"

I looked them in the eye at the same time
"Gentlemen, this ship is headed to Dublin"
"We're going to see a good friend of mine"
"Now get back to your swabbing and scrubbing"

This was an order of business not some sort of cruise
I'm sailing with a ship of one track minded fools
We didn't set out on a vacation of leisure
Were on the hunt for sheep skin seat covers and Scandinavian leather

I did not mean to keep them in the dark
But they would think less of me
I needed these things
For the women I married

You see we'd been on the rocks
And I know she wanted these items
So I went over the sea with a fine tooth comb
Until I had finally found them

My men had sailed endlessly for months
They were worn down and ragged
Waterlogged and exhausted
While I always came up empty handed

But I had to save my marriage
Salvage my relationship
I knew it would work
If I gave my love these gifts

We reached the golden, calling shore
Of the beautiful Dublin
From the River Liffey and headed north
My friend Seamus let me come in

I came out shaking his hand
I was satisfied with my purchase
Until I was questioned by my men
What it was we came for in our searches

I had to show them, I was under scrutiny
I pulled out two stagecoach seat covers and a pair of pants
They were enraged and called mutiny
They blindfolded me and bound my hands

Now I'm marooned on some unmapped island
And I see my ship riding that horizon
This will sadden my wife, oh how it will upset her
She will never receive her sheep skin seat covers or her Scandinavian leather

The frumpy ragamuffin is discombobulated
And throws together an out fit
She dawns a fur coat in the middle of July
And begins to eat Alpo
She exfoliates her feet with a cheese grater

The top notch tuba player with a hook for a hand suffers from bed sores and an over active pituitary gland
I ask him what the difference is between reasons and excuses
He seems to be dancing around the question
But answers in a round about way
Implying that one is organic and natural while the other is genetically modified and man made

It's zero hour
As I look at the broken coo coo clocks
And the rainbow colored rocks

The ragamuffin presumptuously tells me that no one benefits from doubt  
Then calls my friend a bed wetter
And tells us she must go to feed her Venus flytraps
She storms back towards her laboratory

I wonder what she could possibly do in there
I'm dying to know
I'm on the edge of my seat
With one foot in the grave

The tuba player returns wrapped in an electric blanket
He tells us he's just suffered from sleep paralysis
"It's a dead zone, can't get a signal"
He goes on to say that blind faith is is a stepping stone to the truth
A game of William Tell, a stab in the dark
A round of Blind man's bluff with Marco Polo

Testing the waters is a building block of wisdom
And a clean bill of health is corner stone of a happy life
That you have to pay for out of pocket when playing the field
And we are the choices we've made incarnate

Now, the ragamuffin and the tuba player come once more
To tell us the mind is as incorruptible as the soul
But the body will bow to time and wither away
They then walk backwards, back to where ever they came

You want to know what the difference between loving a woman and loving a man is?

Nothing

Being a bisexual man I find that a few people I talk to have many questions and queries as to what it means and what it's like being attracted to both genders

Well, what I usually tell them is everyone is attractive in one way or another
And that I cannot chose only one *** to be attracted to
I do not believe there was ever a time in my life where I didn't fancy men or women

I remember thinking it was normal to like both
Until I was about six years old and kids in my class were calling each other
gay

And when I asked what that meant some kid told me it was what you call a boy who wanted to kiss other boys to make fun of them

I immediately became confused
Why would you make fun of that?
Doesn't everyone like boys?

After that I began noticing relationships within the TV shows I would watch
Girls were perused by men
And men were pined for by women

Husbands and wives

Boyfriends and girlfriends

But why?

I started to repress my attraction toward men and focused on only women

I became a womanizer by the age of eleven
A horn dog

I suppose by taking my pent up lust for men made my lust for women double

I was obsessed with ***
I just wanted to bang bang bang

Jerking off like five times a day everyday

Looking at ****

Staying up late just to watch a censored ******* commercial

******* my bed

One handed delight

I restricted myself from even looking at another boy, no matter how bad I wanted to

It wasn't until I was about sixteen when I began to allow myself to feel anything towards the same ***

I felt like I wasn't being honest to myself because I was scared how everyone in my life would see me

I had enough, I let myself become whole again
I didn't feel the need to stand up on a soap box and say "I LOVE ****!"
But I refused to restrain myself from denying the fact that I was bisexual

I finally came out to a close friend when I was seventeen
Then another
And another
They were all accepting and nothing between us ever changed

My family on the other hand
Well,  was nineteen when I told my dad
He threw me out of the house

When I told my mom she told me i was going to go to hell

But, the fact remained, I played for both teams
Still to this day when it's brought up they just call me an idiot
I can deal with that, they still love me

Now, I've only had a connection with a few people
Some men
Some women
The men in my life have usually lead to disappointment

They only wanted ***
Don't get me wrong I'm totally down for that
But I was looking for something a little bit more
Because that's what they seemed to want too, at least when we first started talking

The women in my life have lead me to discovery
I found out that I can be sensitive, annoying, mean, careless, forgetful and just all around disrespectful

But they also taught me how to better myself, how to understand someone, and most importantly how to love

I'm not saying all men are pigs
And I'm not saying all women are angels

The point I'm trying to make is that, regardless of genitals,  ****** preference or identity
People are people, with different stories, ideas and issues
And each one of them has their own desires

Some hurt you
Some help you
Some teach you
And some don't even care

But that doesn't mean just because someone tells you that being interested in some one of the same *** is wrong and that you should listen and lie to yourself

If you love some one, tell them
If you're attracted to some one, talk to them
If you want to ****, send out an invitation and see what happens

I wasted a part of my life ignoring a natural desire because I was scared of it, don't make my mistake

Listen to your heart and run with it

My name is Tommy Johnson and I'm a bisexual human being

One last thing,where did the nomenclature of the words "bi" "gay" or "straight" come from? Why do we feel the need to classify and label things?

Jesus hanging with nails in his feet
"Oh father why have you done this to me?"
God says "cause"
Jesus asks "why?"
God answers "you must die"
"To show the people how much I care"
Jesus screams "get me down from here!"

We all know that conspiracy
The assassination of John F. Kennedy
It was pinned on o'l Lee Harvey
Who was suspiciously whacked by Jack Ruby
I guess you sow what you reap
But tell me just one thing, so I can sleep
Why was Kennedy taken from us?
But LBJ we got to keep?

It was a cool, early September morn
No one was ready, no one was warned
The planes crashed then the country was torn
To turn the other cheek or march to war
We headed out with a paranoid red, white and blue look in our eye
We did what we did but was it right?
There were no MWD's so someone lied


       -Tommy Johnson
*** used to be America's biggest cash crop
But somewhere, I don't know where that stopped
And the oppressive gavel of defamation dropped
Now we smoke joints in a dark garage with the fear of getting popped
It does more good than harm, so what's the deal?
Twenty years for a half ounce are you for real?
Got busted with bud now I lived behind bars and get served ****** meals
Is there some law that we can appeal?

A science teacher must at some point face
The topic of "evolve" and "create"
And put in logic and reason and keep out faith
It's the curriculum but some parents get so irate
Man, just let them do their job
These professional bickering moms
It's the battle of Darwin and God

       -Tommy Johnson