two worlds within me
one rule-abiding
and the other rule-smashing

how do they coexist
in a world of culture
and tradition

if I choose for myself
i’m selfish and
irresponsible

if I follow the rules
then I won’t be living
authentically

recent conversations
have made me hold a mirror
to myself

wondering again
how do I bring these two worlds
together

I just want to live
my truth without hurting
anyone.

my heart beat faster
as we approached the entrance
what is happening

well it was happening
after years of painting
pictures in my head

I turned to you
for words of reassurance
and warmth

it was too much
the attention, sounds and people
I was panicking

you didn’t say much
but your body language did
it calmed me slightly

it oddly helped me
to focus on the present
and block out those thoughts.

at first
it was just the meeting of
two

like moving sand dunes
shape-shifting
to a rhythm

it was as if the winds had changed
suddenly there was speed
all at once

sending shivers
bolt after bolt
down the spine

then like a surprise find in a desert
there was moisture
loads of it.

two’s a company
three’s a crowd
not here atleast.

I was brainstorming
a loungewear print name today
and I realised something

I relate with words
in two different ways
a synergy

I see a word
as a visual
sometimes vivid

then I start to move
as a way of expressing
how I relate with it.

words in question were
“shift”, “flow” and “spirit”
which one should I go with

imagery and
movement
coming together.

today was special;
a sweetheart wanted to
hear me play;

i didn't realise
how much it affected me
when he asked this;

i happily sent
some of my recordings
for him to hear

the praises flowed
so did my tears when it hit me
no one has ever asked.

i never shared
this part of my life with the world
anyway.

no one would have known;
neither would that thought have crossed
their minds to ask me.

though some people know
through a passing conversation
but that's where it ended.

for him to take interest
in something I love doing;
he's special.

through my tears
something so emotional
hit me

piano and my soul
share a connection so deep
it brings me to tears.

a part of my soul
intertwines with the melody
the vibrations

my emotions
begin to soften
to reveal themselves.