I want a bookshelf
And an intimately lit living room
And as my husband and I clean the kitchen after all of those who have gathered to share fellowship have left, as we are cleaning the mess
He will stop me and we will dance in the light coming in from the room next to us
We will sway back and forth and listen to the music that isn't playing
Because we never needed an audible reason for us to be this close
As we finish off the kitchen, we will move to the living room
Folding blankets, turning off the tv, and grabbing a book
We will sit down and read
Enter our own little word's of literature while still holding hands
Pulling them all together into one fantasy
One of us will look at the clock and realize how late it is
We will mark our page and you will tell me I am beautiful
As we walk to our bedroom and turn off the hallway light
I will look up and smile at you
Because there is no greater feeling than sharing love with another person
We will crawl into bed and you will whisper into my ear that you love me
and I will say it back
and I will mean it
Because I do love you
I may not know you yet, but until we meet
I will be collecting books to place on our bookshelf
I hope you are doing the same

"hey grandma, how are you this year?"
"how's deer season going, uncle wayne?"
"how many cats do you have now?"
by the way i think i'm depressed
(sjb)

We all walk around
Like we have so long
Until we reach the end of our lives
Fooling ourselves each morning
"You are not going to die today, you
have a long while before that happens"
So we go about our days
Living as if we have so much longer
Too afraid to tell the truth
We waste each day if we do not live
As if we are dying
Because we are.

Chandler smiles
like the world depends on the warmth it emits
Chandler laughs
like today is the last day he will have to chuckle
Chandler says my name
over and over
like he will never have another chance to say it
over and over
my name forms in the back of your throat and
rolls up to the back of your tongue
Rachel
Chandler is nineteen
Diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy
Trapped in a body he cannot control
Like prison walls around his muscles
He is unable to move most of them
He uses what he can
He raises his good hand, waves, and flashes a smile
that screams flirtation  
Chandler winks
Knowing he can make any girl swoon
Chandler says my name
Even when I am not there
Chandler’s hand may not fit perfectly with mine
But I will make the puzzle pieces fit
Chandler is somebody I know I will outlive
And the thought terrifies me
Knowing already that he may not make it past twenty
And while the clock is ticking
We will make the most of every moment
I kiss his forehead
He causes my heart to smile
and we shall live every moment to its limit
as if the world depends on it

You are the evident piece of love that everyone wants
like the slice of cake with the most icing on it
You are the sweet candy that everyone craves
and the one you wish most to get on Halloween
You are the favorite book, the best seller, the one with words that you have to look up because you are not easily deciphered
Your voice, so delicate yet firm, reverberates in my skull
like a hymn in an empty church
You are the painting in my hallway that people have to ask about because, though it is beautiful,
they feel the edging desire to know what it is
The truth is that I don’t know how to describe you
Words will never be enough
I could write until my hand cramps and refuses to move the pen in rhythmic swirls to form letters and still it would never be enough
And for that I am sorry