I wrote you a letter every month we were together,
so you would know how much you really mean.
It entailed my thoughts,
through the written words,
my love for you was told.
A present for you, at one time,
just a reminder for how long you had been mine.
But besides these letters,
I spoke the truth,
You were to know how I felt every day,
so that not one second would you doubt my love.
I begged and bargained with those up above,
that you would understand my love,
you did and you smiled,
as my words and my gestures were strong and enough,
Not one second did you forget my love.

As we began to grow,
a future in tow,
another letter written with love.
I realized I forgot to see,
if you loved me.

I think I am always an afterthought,
one that people seem to disregard,
It seems that people call me when there is nothing left,
and I don't know how I feel about being being second best.
Dates are asked and promised,
and phone calls are never returned,
the tightly tied strings of friendship are fringed and burned.
The effort is never made,
as it is assumed I will always be there,
an afterthought, a maybe,
forgotten without a care.
You don't jump at the chance to be with me,
it's always a "maybe", or a "we will see."
I am not number one on any lists,
not "best looking", or "who I want to kiss."
But I'm an afterthought,
the one lingering in the back of your mind,
the "not too bad", the "she's okay",
"with her it's an alright time."
An afterthought,
I do not want to be,
But a first thought,
the one you want to see.

I put the blade down
Once again
The gleam of silver shining
Obstructing my view
Imagining metallic
Deep in my skin
I pick it up,
Put it down,
Pick it up again
Recovery
Or
Relapse
I choose the latter
REVERSE
I choose the latter
Relapse
Or
Recovery
Pick it up again
Put it down
I pick it up
Deep in my skin
Imagining metallic
Obstructing my view
The gleam of silver shining
Once again
I put the blade down

You'll get hurt.
End up miserable.
Be left alone.
Have a broken heart.
Shed buckets of tears.
Feel unbearable pains.

These are the reasons
Not to fall in love.

But,
When it comes to love,
The heart knows no limit,
No risk,
It will do anything it wants.
That's the magic of love;
It can make even the most intelligent people  
Lose their logic and common senses.
                                                                                                                                    
So, forget these risks,
Forget the possibility of crashing.
Forget the chances of failing.

Coz eventually,
Unknowingly,
Your heart will soon beat for someone.

Fall in love deeply,
Intensely,
Passionately,
Unconditionally,
Genuinely.

Fal­l in love in spite of it all;
Who knows,
You'll be that lucky
To fall for someone who will forever make you happy.
♡

Some girl
Shows me how to
Put eye liner on:
It's 9:14 in the morning.

A slam of the door.
She leaves it open.
Checks the time, sees there's more,
Slips her mask back over her eyes,
And gets five more minutes.

Sunlight beats against my thick
White drapes like one of those battering
Ram in all those medieval movies.

There's been so many of those lately.

My taste buds
Are on fire.
The coffee is too hot.

When the words, the ideas,
The flare chooses not to come,
I am
Not.

A little wine left.
A small breeze outside.
Cars passing by.
Relishing in my passing youth.
Age cometh.
Death taketh me away.

I dipped my hand into the cool water
And whirled my hand around,
Trying to stir whatever lived down there.

I touched the tip of the statue of liberty.
I grazed through a 10,000 bone cathedral.
I tickled love making in a very small, white room.
I pinched solitary nights typing away at something
That would later be thrown away by accident.

There are so many diamonds in these fields,
It's hard to get yourself to pick one out that's special.
They all shine, they all glimmer, but only a few
Tell the story I want to tell.

Which one would you choose?
Which one would leave you feeling satisfied,
Worthwhile, challenged, spent?

There are only so many deeds that can
Get you into heaven.

Which one will you do

Or

Not?

why you gotta be so mean?
despite my hopeless creative knocking
dead air
is
dead air...
   just why you gotta be so mean?
   simplifying explanations
    to the point of
     a b s t r a c t i o n

Consciously spinning
through my spaces
Looping in and out of you
where is logic?
Where is reason?
Inside this vault where
Secrets of you lie,
I find my reason for being
And my hope for death.
Two orbiting bodies Are we
eclipsed by the moon and sun,
never free but always on the run.
Set on a collision course of fate
Only we missed it by that much!