Love is an intangible object.
Rulers cannot measure its dimensions.
It is fleeting,
But its power should never be underestimated.
I can only measure love by moments,
By strong feelings that sometimes overwhelm me.
I can measure it by the deep conversations I have with my best friend,
Who is Bellona in disguise.
I can measure it by the devious plans we come up with,
Or the number of times I am astounded by the strength of our friendship.
I can measure it by the deep truths exchanged,
Or by the number of times she promises to stay.
I can measure it from the number of "I love you mores" that comes from my dark knight,
Or by his promises to always be by my side.
I can measure it by the number of times he checks up on me,
Or by how much he worries about me.
I can measure it by the number of times my sun and stars sings to me,
Or the number of times she tells me she loves me.
I can measure it by the voice messages she sends,
Or by the number of late night conversations.
I can measure it by the number of times she makes me laugh out loud,
Or by the number of times she tells me how important I am to her.
Love cannot be measured by meters or inches,
But I can measure it by how much my heart grows.
Happiness spreads through me when I feel the love they have for me.
Love cannot be measured by any instrument,
Only with your heart.

Her resilience.
It is astounding.
It is awe-inspiring.
It is sublime.

She stumbles,
But she never falls.
She hits walls,
But she creates her own doorways through.
She takes a beating,
But she always hits back...only harder.
She has changes forced upon her,
But she always adapts.

She is strength.
Infinite.
Withstanding.
Powerful.

She creates magic,
Using only her imagination.
She manipulates reality,
One sentence at a time.
She is an architect,
Her blueprints filled with otherworldly realms.

She is divine.
Whimsical.
Forbidden.
Profound.

She is a Black Widow,
Strong and dangerous.
She is Athena,
Wisdom personified.
She is the Author,
Creator of magical realms.
She is the Defender,
Protector of the innocent.

She is truth.
Beauty.
Hope.
Trust.

Love is debilitating.
I cannot breathe if we do not speak.
I cannot function when my every thought is of her.
She is my everything.
She is why the Earth continues to rotate,
And the sun continues to rise.
She is why the birds chirp,
Singing Apollo’s precious love songs.
Her beauty is nature’s greatest work,
But her heart and soul is my saving grace.
My heart skips when we talk.
My entire being exists solely for her.
Eros’s arrow struck my heart the moment blue eyes met hazel.
Love blossomed when laughs and smiles were exchanged.
I became hers when hands touched,
When promises were made.

Life presents you with many gifts.
Some may be opportunities,
Some may be material things.
My favorite gift is the people in my life,
Especially her.

Who is she?

She is a fierce dark angel who is not afraid to fight,
But do not be fooled by the masks she wears.
Her closet is filled with them,
And she chooses multiple options for her day ahead.
They have never fooled me.

My favorite mask is the one she was born with,
Her in her natural state.
She shakes off her beauty,
Denying it to the world.
Her blue-green eyes are hidden behind books,
Or they hide under her mane of dark hair when she writes.
She will smile when you approach her,
But it is just another mask she employs to hide the pain I see in her eyes.
The masks have never fooled me.

In my thoughts she is my Bellona,
Fighting battles on a terrifying battlefield.
Her choice of weapon is inconsequential,
Her eyes and words can be fatal.

Her friendship is rare and unique,
She is my Guildenstern and I am Rosencratz.
I would follow her across the galaxy,
And together we would be kicked out of Elysium.
Deep secrets are traded between us,
A currency worth more than money.

She is a woman of many layers.
Every day is full of surprise, laughter, and mischief.
No one could manage us.
Conversations are endless,
Hearts are placed on the table.
Trust is gained and built,
Each brick of trust adding to the celestial temple of our friendship,
Where masks are left at the door.

She is a precious and stubborn gift life presented me with,
No matter how much she denies her importance.
She is my dark angel...my master of masks.
She is my war goddess...my protector and supporter.
She is my partner in crime...my creator of oh so delicious ides.
She is the thread that keeps me tethered today this enchanting life.

I met a man.
No, not just a man.
I met a gentle soul.
I met a knight hidden in the tropics,
I know he would fight for me if he could.

He is a man of kind words and promises,
He means what he says.
His eyes are dark,
They hide his beautiful heart.
His love is sincere.

His smile is fleeting in pictures,
But it lights up the world.
His voice is deep,
It moves me like thunder.
His intense gaze never makes me falter.

Souls like his are few and far between.
His words soothe my pain,
But they also make me laugh and cry.
He is a rock to support those he cares for.
He never gives up on them.

I met a man.
I met a strong, dark knight.
I met an incredible soul.
I found a love.
Or did I meet Eros in disguise?

Life is full of incredible wonders.
Just when you prepare to lose hope,
Life gives you a reason to keep trying.
And a beautiful reason she is.

There is something exciting about a new friendship,
Especially one with many possibilities.
There is a thrill in the journey,
A reminder that lovers may meet at journey’s end.

Her name means victory,
But I already knew that she won by the fluttering of my heart.
Her dark hair flows with a gentle curl.
Her fair face is sparkled with freckles and moles,
A beautiful constellation I would happily trace with gentle fingers.
Her pale eyes intrigue and captivated me,
For they often seem to reflect between green and light blue.
Her touch is gentle and caring,
It always sends my heart into flutters.
Her expressions keep me enthralled,
And I would do anything to make her laugh and smile.

I find my thoughts always return to her.
I wonder how her hand would feel in my own.
I wonder how her hair would feel as I gently play with it.
I wonder how it would feel to cuddle close with her.

I want to place kisses on her forehead.
I want to learn everything about her.
I want to tell her how much I like her.
I want to hear her curse.

Life placed her in front of me to remind me the boys there are in life.
I should keep going.
Even if friends meet at journey’s end,
Her happiness is worth it.

I have issues,
Lots of them,
I could fill a library with my issues,
My problems,
And self-loathing.
Whole buckets full of issues.
Like nails driven into my skin I can't quite get out,
I try to fix myself,
To find the things I lack and lost along the way,
But I find myself breaking even more,
Like a porcelain doll.
I feel like a liar,
Smiling like this in your face,
While I go bring pain upon myself by crushing the hopes and dreams I struggled to hang onto.
I've forgotten myself somewhere in the darkness,
And can't get out.
My sadness is only temporary,
It happens when I'm alone,
I put my mask on,
And take it off when I go home.
But my mask is fading fast,
Pealing away to reveal the things I lack,
As people get close to me,
I push them away,
The people I do keep close in mind,
I tell them all the time,
Of my issues,
And my hurting,
And they get bored of me and leave,
They don't want a basket-case,
A whiny little girl,
A problematic teen,
A pity party indeed,
When I do learn how to trust you,
I'll come to you with all my problems,
But soon enough you'll give up on me because you don't know how to solve them.
My issues are like chains,
And life is like water,
The more I struggle  with these issues,
The faster I sink into the water,
Drowning.
Suffocating.
I don't want people to treat me different,
I don't them to try to fix me,
Because I'm a lost case.
I just want some friends to talk to,
Not to tell me what to do.
I don't you to try fix me,
Or cry over me,
Just go.
I don't want pity,
I don't want your pity,
I don't want anyone's pity,
I pity myself enough,
And hate myself too,
I've hurt myself worse than anyone ever could,
Worse than you.
I just want to keep my scars safely hidden away,
To push my issues so far beneath my skin,
You can no long see them,
And you and I both win,
I don't get pitied,
And you think you fixed me,
See?
isn't everyone happy.
But the problem is my mask it fades,
My issues are resurfacing,
And you can see everything that's wrong with me,
I try to pick the nails out of my skin, but more get jabbed in.
I'm too tired,
I can't sleep.
I'm too mad,
I can't eat.
I'm so happy.
...I feel sad.
So sad this happiness can't last forever,
But this sadness...
This sadness will last forever,
These wounds will never heal,
These scars will never quite fade,
I'll never learn to feel,
Happy,
Is word,
I never quite learned,
My dictionary is limited,
By me,
And my melancholy.
I can tell you words like,
Sadness,
And apathy.
I can tell you words like,
Ugliness,
And stupidity.
I can tell you words like,
Anger,
And rage.
But the word I'm most familiar with is
Melancholy,
Melancholy is me,
Issue are me,
I am made up of lies, melancholy and issues,
I have so many problems I don't know who I am!
Who am I?
This happy girl?
This sad one?
This mean girl?
This evil one?
This liar?
This quiet one?
Who is the real me?
Who are these people I try to be?
Which one do you see?
Which one do I portray to be?
Which one is the true me?
I have problems,
I have fears,
I have issues,
Like nails in my skin.
... Sometimes I don't think it's melancholy...
I think it's something worse,
Something that people know as the d word,
Something that you don't say,
Something that can get you on medication,
Something far more sinister than any old melancholy...
Do I dare say it?
What I think I have?
Yes...
I think have depression.
.... I have depression.
Sad.