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06 10 2020

Let this be my goodbye
to that gold us, three years ago

it is raining once again
after that long summertime
when I found my skin stressed
and rough
and uglier, maybe

as I stayed up
in my holy place
the warm breeze from the outside
and cool air from the fan
touch my inglorious body
like how those bittersweet, melodramatic memories
touch my scarred soul

I hear the birds chirping
and I wonder if it’s a song
of sorrow
or of joy–
singing to the neighborhood
that the rainy season has begun

or maybe,
it’s just some of their small talk
and perhaps,
it’s just me trying so hard
to look mysteriously poetic

but here I am,
holding back the river
as I write this entry,
and as I ponder with the rain

how I remember those days
staying up late in my holy place
asking God how you are

and I remember when we walked
through that heavenly forest,
we heard the birds chirping
but I never wondered if they sang
out of their sorrow,
or of their joy

I remember that small talk –
how I wish we had it a little longer
I remember not trying so hard
to be me
when you just made everything so real
and so dreamy–that I don’t want to wake up from this ever again,
at the same time

but now
is the time
when I don’t want to sleep
until I could finally bid goodbye–
and as I do,
I want to remember that moment
that moment
for the last time;
that moment

when we first said hello
in August, three years ago

that was in August,
three years ago.

Maraming salamat sa'yo, aking kaibigan, aking kapatid. :)
Brianna Samson Nov 2017
Just tell me
if heaven closed its doors
when no one on earth
has seen you cry

Just tell me
if you can't get back home
when the fields you ran into
have never been a refuge in a storm

Just tell me
if everything you see now is dire and bleak,
and you felt your loneliest
when you entered the amusement parks alone

Just tell me
if even the world's greatest jokes
Can no longer penetrate
the humor that you think you've lost
but I know it's still there

Just tell me
if sugar doesn't taste sweet to you anymore
and instead,
you find your enemies' laughter a good meal
and for every day

Tell me,
just tell me if you're used to all of this
and even if you don't
I know it all

For when the heavens poured down rain,
the droplets that touched my skin
told me you're not okay
I knocked into your door
and I heard those fights —
telling me that this isn't your home
I walked my way to your favorite amusement park,
took your favorite ride
and later on, I've seen a post online
telling me about that newest amusement park to try
I wanted to text you right away about it,
and I just don't know why all of a sudden
I anticipated for the next jokes you're about to crack

And even if sugar loses its sweetness
your smiles won't ever lose theirs —
that even if I haven't seen them for quite a while now
I know that they will always find their way back,
the way you used to light this world
with your own little steps
that formed a pathway
of hope and colors of the Promise

I know you'll always find your way back to that Promise
and if you could just tell me,
Tell me —
but even if you don't,
I know it all
for you are my friend,
you are a friend.

Just tell me,
and I will listen.


— The End —