I can't unbreak your heart, I can't undo the pain
But in my arms it'll never be broken again

Get up, stop crying
I don't care if you feel like dying.
Tears won't win them back
Won't restore the things you lack
So don't waste your time being sad
You've new opportunities, so just be glad

Rereading my poems makes me sad, how could I ever have been happy enough to write that?

I wish you were here I could put my arm around you
Making you blush, the way you do
I wish I could stare into your eyes
More beautiful than any sunrise
I wish our lips, could once again meet
In a kiss full of passion, of love, of heat
I wish that you would be here with me
Because when I close my eyes, it's still you I see.

Inevitable, unconditional and forever true
These words describe, my love for you.
You with your lips, so soft and sweet
Making my love burn, with undying heat.
Your eyes shine more than any star in the sky
I'll remember them forever, till the day that I die.
Words such as beautiful cannot begin to describe
For it's sheer perfection that I imbibe
When looking at you, my perfect love,
You're like an angel belonging, so far above.
For there are no way on earth to describe you
But as long I live, I'll always try to.

You know; I only stayed, because you always came back.

I am only alive because my death would hurt you

The sound of her voice, like a melody slow
And the sight of her beauty, with it's perfect glow
The warmth of her body, pressed against mine
That look in her eyes, and their endless shine.
The days of perfection, so good times we did spend
Alone just us two, why did they end?
Her perfectly shaped lips, delicious and soft
And kisses that sent, my heart spiraling aloft.
All that is gone now, slipping away
If only she'd give me, just one more day.

80 days later and I can still feel her touch

Maybe dying will hurt less

Hollowness in my chest
Devouring my soul
Threatening to
Eat me whole.

**** me now
The voice is back
A moment of pain
All fades to black

My smile, my happiness, it's all a bluff
We know I was never good enough
Never worth a moment of anyone's time
My life is as pointless as this stupid rhyme
I get it now, I can finally see.
There's always someone better than me.
What good am I? I have no worth
I do no good, being here on earth.
My life is pointless, a waste of time
Like everything I've done, including this rhyme

My poems aren't just words I wrote.
They aren't like a novel, a story or quote.
My poems are small bits of my soul.
If I deleted them, I'd not be whole.
They tell of times when my heart would sting,
and the times it was made to sing.
My poems are memories, immortalized,
gone over again, and analyzed.
They're a measure of me, of my life, my heart,
and the closest I get, to creating art.

Right now my mind wanders to the words we once shared
To the days when I knew how, to let her know I cared
Maybe the words don't exist, that say how I'm feeling now
Because if the words do exist, then I really don't know how.
But she's still a perfect angel, so beautiful and smart
My stomach still feels twisted, from the times we had to part
But the message I want her to know, words cannot convey
But I still have to try, because this is something I need to say
So don't you dare forget Ade, the way you feel right now
You might not be able to say it yet, but one day you may know how.

I didn't even get, a real goodbye
So I'll spend forever just wondering why.
Why I was never good enough for you
Why you weren't happy when it was just us two
Why wasn't I worth a goodbye?
Why wasn't I worth another try?

I looked at the water as I sat on the sand
There in the place where I once held your hand.
I thought about you, and I made my choice
And in my head I heard your voice
You spoke of the things that we once had
But now that you are gone I am going mad.
What happened to that future with you and me?
What happened to all the things we were meant to be?
What happened to the promises, the hopes, the dreams?
Now I sit alone trying to muffle my screams.
Because I had finally gone and chosen you
If only I had know you wouldn't choose me too.

Time passes, but memories don't fade
As I look back at the messes I made
How has no one realized, I don't deserve to live?
Even I, want me to die...I've nothing left to give
I've ruined everything that ever went well
Just let me say goodbye, and then I'll go to hell

I'm so sick of lying and saying I am fine
All this happiness and smile they aren't mine
I'd like to say I'm happy, but all I want to do is die
Nobody still cares enough, for me to need to say goodbye

I'll stand out in the wind and blow away as dust
I'll leave my body far behind a metal shell there left to rust
I don't want to live life any more, it's just not worth the pain
I don't want to be happy any more, I'll just get hurt again
So I'm leaving world, this is goodbye
Time to give death, another try.

One day you will wake and realize she's all you ever wanted
And she'll be in someone else's arms that happy smile on her face
You'll be sitting where you sat with her and you'll be feeling haunted
And he will tell her "I love you" and her heart will start to race.

You'll remember how her lips taste and want another kiss
Another kiss where the world slows down and she's all you think about
But you can't because her lips aren't yours they're his
And her love that you once had, you'll now have to live without

I don't know exactly why, or how
All I know, is you hate me now

Every 'I love you', every kiss
every moment of pure bliss
Ever dream, every blush
every smile, every touch

All of it means nothing now
I'd forget you but, I don't know how.
So I won't, but I hope you do
Even though, I still love you

Broken promises, shattered dreams
I try to muffle, heartbroken screams

Fake a smile, 'life is great'
I'm totally not, full of hate
For how much I've failed, how much I've lost
I fell in love, I guess this is the cost.

So I fake a smile, pretend I'm fine
Stop thinking about, when you were mine
and I was happy, and I had you
with your **** laugh, and eyes so blue...

But now I sit, and think of us
And work out how my life adjusts
To lack of love, of angels, of you
I've no idea what I'm going to do

How long has it been, since you really loved me?
Do you even care about what we used to be?
About the days spent, talking of tomorrows?
Before you left me, to drown in my sorrows...

I want you to know, that I still love you
But soon you'll hear my name, and just reply "Who?"
I'll fade from your memory, your hopes and your dreams
And that's what you want, or at least so it seems.

I know I mean nothing, to you any more
But I want you to know, it's still you I adore
I remember your smile, and your beautiful eyes
When you said that you love me, although those were lies.

I should be heartbroken, but really I'm not.
Because a heart's something I've no longer got
I gave it to you, not too long ago
I didn't expect for you to let go.
But you did my dear, and you let it fall
Just when I thought, that we had it all

We wanted a future, now I'm memories in your past.

-The worst thing in the world is when someone you saw a future with, is now just a memory.-

Roses are red
and violets are blue
there wasn't enough time
for me and you.

The roses are wilting
the violets, dying
You were my everything
and now you're done trying.

What is there to say, after goodbye?
I'd say I'll be fine, but I don't want to lie

After goodbye, what else can I say?
I don't have a heart, you took it away.
I guess this is it, my happy ending gone
But I promise you this, I will carry on.

The love will be lies, all the kisses too
And as I hold her hand, I will wish it was you
But I need to move on, or to pretend at least
Because I won't forget you, till I am deceased

What is there to say, after goodbye?
I'd say I'll be fine, but I don't want to lie

My once perfect world, begins to fall
I miss the days, when we had it all
I miss the day, you said "I love you"
I miss knowing that, that was true.

Are our perfect days, now in the past?
Was that last kiss, our very last?
Do you expect me to still be fine?
Without the best thing that was ever mine?

How will I live without my heart?
You'll take it with you, on the day we part
Without your love, I think I'll die
I've got some rope, now to give it a try...

I remember the taste, of your lips that night
I remember the tears, of our first fight.
Will everything else, fade to memory?
That's not all I want our love to be.

I looked at you, and my mind went 'wow'
Because I loved you then, and I love you now.
But you don't believe me, you think I'm lying
So now I lie here, and I'm slowly dying
Because I still love you, beyond compare
But you don't believe me, 'cause life's unfair
I remember all the kisses, we shared in the past
I can't believe, we may have had our last

Why does it always end this way?
Knife in hand to take the pain away.
Every part of me just wants to die
Because yet again I've made her cry
I can't keep living without her
But things are no longer as they were
She has no time for me anymore
I no longer make her go 'aww'
Now tonight may be my last
I'm missing the days gone past
If she reads this then I'm sorry
I did not mean to make you worry
I just need to die.

I'm not living for me any more
Not for the reasons I was living before
I'm only keep living, cause she'll cry if I don't
But part of me's awaiting, the day when she won't
So I can leave this world behind
and end the pain that's clouding my mind.

You have her, with her gorgeous smile
all I have, is denial.
You have her, with her enticing laugh
I haven't a heart, not even a half.
You have her, with her angelic voice
I haven't even got a choice.
You have her, she's perfect, it's true
and she doesn't want me, cause she's got you.
So she's left me, with a terrible curse
because she still inspires, my poetic verse.
You have her, so ****, so hot
and me? Well poetry is all I've got.

Oh they know nothing, that's plain to see
Oh they know nothing, of what it's like to be me
They know nothing of these thoughts in my head
They know nothing of how, I wish to be dead
of how I dream, of bloodshed, of ****** of winning
of how different I am, then I was when beginning.

And don't let them, not in my head
Why bother them, with my hopes of being dead?
Better to keep them, and have no-one know
then have my great weakness, out there on show
That'll remain secret, even after goodbye
to be buried with me, on the day that I die

11:11, forever with you
Forever to do, the things we do
I wish for eternity, with your hands in mine
Mmm, now there's a prospect that sounds divine.

11:11 forever with you
Oh how I wish, this wish could come true.

So now I sing a sad lullaby, wondering if anyone will cry?
I really, highly doubt they will, I doubt they'll even try
If only you knew how I was in so much pain
But you don’t, So now, red tears will fall again
I will grab my knife and set it against my skin
All the pain will go far away as soon as I begin
Dark red liquid drops from me to the floor
My arm goes numb, I fall against the door
But I continue slashing away
I am not in pain, not today
I feel so alive now, it's the greatest of highs
As a red light flashes before my eyes,
I feel more alive than I ever have before
I stagger to the bathroom, going past my door
Leaving a trail of red I get into the bath
My blood was dripping, it formed a path
For inside I was already dead
Inside my body, and in my head
Dead inside from the scars you left behind
I just draw them to skin, take them out of mind
But it's about now, that I don’t care
Blood flows from my body, I'm beyond repair
I close my eyes, I feel so cold
It is time, I will not grow old
I can feel my heart rate slowing
My breath leaving, my life-force going

Then. I. am. Gone. Goodbye

I love you as much as anyone could
And honestly, it makes sense that I would
Perfect beyond reason,  perfect beyond doubt
And you're certainly not something I can live without

I thought I loved you as much as I could,
But I clearly don't love you as much as I should
Because you always find ways to make me love you more
And every time you prove your angelic perfection, I sit in awe

I've messed up, yet again
Don't know what I've done
But it's caused you pain.

My perfect angel, silent as stone
So I just sit, cutting down to my bone

I did something wrong, I've no idea what
or maybe I do, and I've just forgot

Not that it matters, 'cause she hates me now
If there's some way to fix this, well I've no idea how

Isn't it funny we dealt with it the same way.
We ran to woods at the end of the day.
I was the one who talked to you the whole while
And I was the one, who helped you reclaim your smile.
Yet when I when I ran off, there was a cruel twist of fate
Because off to go find me, went the girl that you hate.

And I hate her for it.

Love is giving someone the power to hurt you
Love is trusting that they won't
Love is crying when they hurt you anyway
Love is accepting when they say they're sorry
Love is giving them the power to hurt you yet again
Love is trusting that they won't even though they did last time
Love is stupid
Love is pointless
Love is painful
Love is disappointing
Love is the worst feeling in the world
Love is weakness
Love is what I've fallen in so far, that I never want to get out
Love is perfect...She's perfect

What is it about him that left you wanting more?
What is it about his lips that made you kiss him back?
What is it about him, that you still adore?
What has he still got, that I somehow lack?

I gave you it all
Didn't that mean anything?
Did your guard just fall?
Or did we mean nothing?

Remember what he did?
You did that to me.
I know it's something he hid
But why didn't you see?

You, off all people, should know how it feels
But still your lips met his, like his lips met her
What you just did, I can't say it appeals
It's like you forgot, just how these things were.

When he cheated on you, and you came crying to me
Now you cheated on me I have to cry all alone.
You were my angel, yet he was all you could see.
You forgot all the long nights we'd spent on the phone.

He told you some lies, that you somehow believe
He wasn't cheating on you? Well good for him
I think he's telling you lies, he has tricks up his sleeve.
If he does that again, I'll tear him limb from limb

And you of all people should know what it's like

Where have all the people gone?
Why did they go away?
This silence just got maddening,
why couldn't the people stay?

So where have all the people gone?
I hope they're somewhere nice
'Cause right now it ***** round here
The silence cold as ice.

You smiled, and laughed
Then came the days you thought it all meant nothing

But she's back again, she's in your arms
It feels so perfect that it ain't setting off alarms
Like she should, cause you loved and you lost
She left you, you paid the cost

But now you bite your lip, tell her she's perfect
And now you've got your perfect angel blushing

'Cause she's not all you ever wanted.
But she's all you want right now
You know no one is perfect
But she seems to be somehow.

Finally life makes sense, finally it seems great
It's no longer dark, you're no longer filled with hate

'Cause you have your perfect angel, your sweetheart, your true love
your princess, the girl of your dream,  or a blessing from above.

So bitter-sweet is solitude
'Cause why on earth would I need you?
I'm perfectly happy here by myself.

Except when it gets it dark and it gets cold
When I'm alone, sitting on my bed
and I miss the way my hands fit perfectly in yours

So bitter-sweet is solitude
Because I'm better now I'm without you
But it is still solitude, and I am still alone.

I miss you, I love you, no I don't, I hate you
I miss the memories, not the person
but the happiness, the company.

What a difference a week can make
You go from happiness to heartbreak.
The single best day of your life
To wanting to go and grab the knife.
From the happiest person you could be
When everything's perfect and you're filled with glee
To hating everything and wishing you'd die
Because life is now terrible, so why even try?
A lot can change in one week
Life goes from perfect, to ever so bleak.

Oh how would love to sit beneath this ever quiet moon
My arms around you my dear, I hope this happens soon.
Oh how I wish to just lie there and be with only you my dear
But that won't happen not any time soon, at least that's what I fear
Those perfect days, our fingers knit, where it is just us two
The difference between now them, is that today is missing you.

"No, Cassius, for the eye sees not itself
But by reflection, by some other things."

Maybe that is why she won't believe the things I say
Doesn't agree she's perfect in every way.
She say's she not perfect, beautiful or amazing
But she doesn't know it's her I'm craving.
She only see's a pale reflection of her true self
in the imperfection of those like myself
But she is more perfect than anyone
If beauty were stars she'd be the sun.
If only she knew, just how I see her
So perfect she makes everything else a blur.
Because when I look at her she's all I can see
And I know she's as beautiful, as beauty can be.

"No, Cassius, for the eye sees not itself
But by reflection, by some other things."
-Brutus, act 1, scene 2,

With that first chance that you gave me
I messed up and now I see
I didn't deserve you at the time
But I still got to call you mine.

I didn't deserve that second chance
Try as I might with that romance
So I'm not surprised when pressure got high
You walked and left my heart to die

It seems you've come back yet again
Though the last two times I was to blame
I didn't deserve chances one and two
What makes you think I'll ever deserve you?

But you still think I'm worth a shot
And I still tell you that I'm not
But I'm in love and you are too
and all I want is to be with you.

So thank you for, chance number three
Perfect is all I'll let it be.
Because being with you, is the best thing ever
And all I want, is to love you forever