months have gone by
and you're still on my mind.
i've been doing a lot better
but i'm still not fine.

you're everywhere
and we can't even speak.
when i hear your voice
my stomach gets weak.

i can't avoid you forever,
but i'll definitely try.
why is it that i
can't look you in the eye?

i don't even know
if i want you back,
but i miss you a lot
that's a fact.

i miss your face
and i miss your smile.
it's sad i haven't seen it
in a while.

i can hardly breathe
when you're in the room.
i really want to
speak to you soon.

when you catch my eye
i turn the other direction.
are you trying
to get my attention?

i still feel hurt
out of the blue.
i can't help but wonder
if it hurts you too.

My reprehensible mind
       Slipped you into my dreams last night
    You were there for me
         Cared for me
               Said you were mine

     I cannot say
           I did not enjoy this dream
While it was happening
      It's been a long time
Since I've even thought about you
       But when I realized your words seemed true
    My dream took a turn
                Something morbidly new

      I said the things I wanted to say
          Instead of just saying sorry
And... "It's okay"
         I cursed and I screamed
    I put you down the way you always did me
               I broke your fragile, pathetic heart
       Tore your soul apart

             I was so cruel,
     Yet, I still never reached your level
       With what you did to me
   You'd have made friends with the devil
         I was an angel in comparison
   Enjoying my first little taste of sin

    God, how I loved watching you crumble
                    And fall
          Made me feel larger than life
To make you feel useless and small
          All the times you pushed me down
             Watched me laying,
        Crying on the ground
    I finally had my turn
          How do you like me now?

This may make me seem
         Like a terrible person
     But... I Don't Care
            My dream made me smile
       You weren't there
               You didn't see
All the terrible, painful things he did to me
      
      When I woke up,
   I was finally able to laugh at the past
           Like I never was before
     Truly Enlightening
                 A new beginning
  I'm not in pain because of him anymore
       And *I never will be again

Life takes me to odd places
You were one of them
From the time that I met you
I knew it would be different
It’s okay if you are into someone else
The heart wants what the heart wants
And I am positive about this
With my experiences with you
I learned more about myself
Than I thought I would
I learned that I am brave
Or at least capable of being so
I learned that deep down inside
I’m positive as ****
And
I learned that you can find friends
In the most unlikely places
Thank you for the memories
They were pretty great
And I hope that we make more

You took me to odd places
My own mind was one of them
From our first conversation
To the first time we hung out
I knew it would be different
I just can’t help shaking this feeling
The heart wants what the heart wants
And I am going to be positive about this
With my experiences with you
I learned more about myself
Than I thought I would
I learned that I am brave
Or at least capable of being so
I learned that deep down inside
I’m positive as ****
I learned that you can find friends
In the most unlikely places
And
I learned that you can always
Come back from a dark place
As long as you have someone to help you out
Thank you for the memories
They were pretty great
And I hope that we make more