Imitation stars.
Bright lights for a shadow heart.
Wonder where the imitation starts
And he begins.

Imitation sky.
Bright lights from this empty cave.
Tunnel vision making love look brave.
Like we could win.

And emulation heartbreak from fabricated warmth,
and telling myself
I am okay.
This is not real.
This love was warped.

But echoes of heartbeats,
Tell me if you hear them, dear.
And pictures of people,
And stories of places,
And songs that no one could hear.

When the idea of pain leaves real scars,
And photographs cut this deep.
Look at pictures of his smile,
rip up every chance of sleep.
Blue foam eyes and barefoot boys,
stolen time, white noise,
5000 miles and 600  days,
6 hours to wonder if he stays.

And realise that you are gone.
Apprehend that he was never here.
And you are mourning a ghost.
You're crying for a vision, dear.

Because in complete darkness I found you,
and dreamt what you might be.
Bright lights for a shadow heart
are all you left with me.

{~~~}

I've walked these woods for as long as I can remember
These pines tell tales of their own
It was foolish to go out barefoot
But I did this time anyway

The well-worn path had gotten stale
So I elected to step off the path
The creek-bed lead the way
And gladly followed

It was about 4 miles deep
Maybe more
And the sun was just about to set
That I had stumbled and fell

I heard it before I felt it
Snap
The pain rushed in
Drowning out the sound of my screams
The blood was pounding in my ears just as fast as it was pouring onto the ground

I don't know how long I stayed like that
Just crying and screaming
For anyone
But no one came

After many failed attempt to get up and move
Only to flail helplessly and fall
Causing more screams
I ripped a length off my shirt and tied it tight around my thigh
Just as I had seen in the movies

Night was falling on me
Shadows were creeping in
I was scared beyond grief
Wide-eyed and terrified
I prayed for something

That's when he came looming out of the darkness
I thought I was dying at first
Seeing white flashes
But he made his appearance

Two gold eyes were peering out of the shadows
They glittered with curiosity and wonder
He cautioned closer
Just enough to make out his white body

I was fascinated at first
Awed that a wolf had lived in these parts
Fear dawned on me
There was blood everywhere

I didn't know much about wolves
I thought maybe they were soulless  animals
Looking for a fight
Hungry to ****
Blood-thirsty and ravenous

I thought for sure he'd attack me
Rip into my flesh
Snap more of my bones
End my life sooner than what it would just out here

He edged closer
Watching me carefully
I could hear my ragged breaths above my pounding heart
His ears twitched at the sound

He didn't come closer than fifteen feet
Now I could see he was actually a very light grey color, almost white.
He just stared at me
For a long time
He watched me
Watch him

My breathing began to slow
And my heart rate went down
It was now that I realized he wasn't going to **** me
I just studied his face in the darkness

Suddenly, the wolf got up
He had been laying down for some time
His gold eyes were stunning
Bursting with spirit

His mouth popped open
Dropping down about two inches
His teeth gleamed wickedly in the moonlight
I got scared again

I couldn't hear him breathe in
But his chest expanded beneath his fur
His eyes flashed
And he lifted his nose to the sky

A piercing sound hit me like a tidal wave
It filled the air
Leaving no space for any other noises
It was demanding sound

The crisp sound was breathtakingly beautiful
His voice jumped up and octave
Before making its descent
He broke off
Leaving his howl echoing off the trees
Humming in the ground

He didn't look at me at first
Instead his gaze traveled around us
His head flicking here and there
Before he looked at me

My ears were still ringing by the time he laid down again
He put his head on his paws
Just staring at me
While his ears swiveled back and forth

We sat like that for a long time
More than a half of an hour
That's when he got up again
He filled his lungs again and threw his head to the night

This howl was different
The first was awing
Piercing you with it's notes
This one was different

Its heavy somber tone was striking
It found it's way into my chest
I could feel the vibrations beneath my skin
This one was submissive
Giving in

He broke off suddenly
His ears propping up fast
He swiveled his head around the clearing
This time he didn't sit down
He'd only glance at me time to time

It was like this for about fifteen minutes
That's when he howled again

Just like before
This howl was different
His eyes watched me as he voiced his longing

A cold ragged feeling hit the air
The night seemed to pause as he sang his song
His notes stacked upon themselves
Ringing up higher into his register
Before he dived into his chest
It was a throaty feeling
Dancing in my bones and capering in my blood
His voice edged off into silence

His soulful eyes gazed at me for the last time
Then he turned and walked into the shadows
"Goodbye." I called out to him instinctively
He never turned his head back
I had a feeling I'd never see him again

I began to feel incredibly alone and lost
The only one that was here abandoned me
My thoughts were lost to the dark
As I struggled with my tears
I yelled in frustration
I was going to die here

"Hello!?" Someone yelled not too far off
I was shocked but I quickly regained my ground
"Hello! Please help me!" I called back, holding in tears
"Hold on, I'm coming to you." I could hear the bushed move and twigs snap as whoever came closer
"I'm over here." I could see them now
"Are you hurt?" I could tell now he was a man, early twenties. He leaned over me
"I think I broke my leg."
"Oh Lord. We need to get out of here. I'm going to try to pick you up, it's going to hurt." His arms gentle closed around me, carful to not brush up against my bad leg
I nodded
I bit down on my lip as he lifted me into his arms, holding back a scream. Silent tears ran down my face as he carried me back onto the path.
"I'm sorry." he told me
"What's your name?" I tried to busy myself with thoughts
"Conan. Whats yours?"
"Cinder."
He carried me in silence for awhile. With every step he took pain seared up my body. I began to think maybe I had imagined the grey wolf.
"Why did you come here?" I asked him.
"I hear a wolf howling. I thought maybe I could catch a glimpse. Thankfully he howled three times, I almost turned around after walking for a half hour without hearing anything. But he howled again. You heard him right?"
"Yes I heard him."

He had called for help
He was my savior
That wolf has a soul too

{~~~}

Love* at its *finest
Can be more destructive than *death