This world is so messed up
So fallen
So cracked
Robbed
Objectified
Run by greed
Lust (A different type of greed)
I don't even watch the news
Because it's all
Pain.
And it hurts me.
Because I feel guilty for it.
All of it.
I live a normal life
By many standards
But it is so privileged.
I have the luxury to whine about my own problems.
I should be out helping people
Not sitting at my computer
Writing "poetry"
Yuck
I'm such an idiot.
I cannot work yet
Even drive on my own
Why is that limiting me?
I want to HELP PEOPLE
Save people.
Though I like learning things
I shouldn't be in school
When there's so many people without FOOD
Without HOMES.
Who am I to complain about my
Tiny problems?
My life is run by greed.
That's all there is to it.
But I can't escape.
My regrets constantly grow
And maybe when I get a chance
I can HELP PEOPLE.
Somehow.

Today is not a good day
Nor is it bad
It is merely
Blah.
Tomorrow is important
The day after is too
But today is Thursday
Like a Tuesday
It's not half the week
Not the beginning
Not the end
Nothing exciting going on today
No, not on a blah day.
I just want the week over at this point.
Tomorrow is energizing
But today?
Blah

Come, now, follow me
Through the dark forest
Dying trees
Please, dear, follow me
I take way now, your life from thee
Sapping heart and melting soul
Don't worry dear, no heads will roll
Shadow forest
On and on
Oh tell me where
Your light has gone?
Tear from your body
Shadows dark
Creaking bones,
Achy heart.
Give to me your sadness sweet
Light fades no longer
Torn up feet.
Escape, you say,
Is coming now
Follow me dear
I'll show you how
To leave this forest
Dark and frightful
Just take that path
For you, tis rightful
Walk along the path of light
As morning comes
Forsaking night
Light unto you, I hope will come
Brings happiness,
Candy and gum
I want a joy
To fill you so
Child with new toy
That face I know
That light now fills you
Love and existence
No darkness kills you
I see a clearing in the distance.

Is it a word?
It's fun to say
And I use it to describe things
People
Ha, this isn't deep
But I enjoy this stuff.

It hurts me to see you
Falling.
You've wandered
I see how it cuts at you
But really, you're stronger than this.
I love you, you know...
But sometimes I just want to pick you up and shake you.
"Wake up!"
You're better than this
Smarter than this
Stronger than this
But if I'm bold...
Could it be damaging?

When I think about you

Ba-bump

When I see you

Ba-bump

When we hug

Ba-bump, ba-bump

When I lay next to you

Ba-bump, ba-bump

When we kiss

Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump

Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump

My heart goes crazy
I feel it in my ears

Not a lot gets my heart going like that
But you
You make it happen more than anything else!
I listen to your heartbeat
To try to find out
If you feel the same.
Around you
Half-crazed
Very much out of my mind
I have trouble controlling myself
So I need to let out this
Energy
Amazement
Hunger
Somehow.
Can you guess?
I'm sure you know...
Oh yeah

I love you
More than anything.
Thought I'd let you know.

You missed it.
I gave you a hint.
It was here somewhere.
Tell me
Do you know?
Because it ruins it if you do.

Well, you see, throughout the princess's life, she was attacked by little goblins.  She could usually fight them off, but it took her days sometimes.  Well, when she took the warrior in, she went into the kitchen to try and find something that would help him.  Of course, the door was left open.  A huge goblin, one of the biggest ever, seemed to wander in.  She heard it and froze in place.  The stomps were getting closer.  By now, though, the warrior who couldn't see the goblin was regaining some balance.  He got up and swing his sword around a couple times.  After one swing, he had accidentally beheaded the beast.  There was blood all over his sword and he didn't know what happened.  The princess rushed in when the stomps stopped and saw the monster lying dead.  The warrior was inspecting it as it became visible, nobody could see the goblins before.  She ran and hugged him for his valiant act, but it was an accident.  He was just happy to have been in the right place at the right time.  As she hugged him, her weakness started to show through again.  She was so happy to be protected, she hadn't been before.  She didn't want him to keep wandering.

Poetic Writing
Is
Kind of
Odd
But it
Is **FUN

It still startles me
To have an enemy who hates
So completely.
You start to drift back to where you could be
Should be
Want to be
Are loved
Are accepted
And this enemy takes over
Because he knows that if you overcome
You will challenge him to the fullest.
He hates you
And he should
He should fear you
Hate you
He wants you dead
Absolute
Unconditional
Unending
Hate.
He wants you to feel cold
To feel alone
To feel hated.
He makes you run as far as you can
From love
And into his hateful arms.
Because your pain
Is his only true joy.

Often
When I use the word
Fallen
I mean that I am being overtaken
By sin
By anything bad
But there is one type of falling I don't mind
Which is
Falling in love with you.

This may be kind of corny
But it's how I feel.

Overbearing heat
No snow in sight
It's perfect
My element
I am home

I don't often feel
Sad
And if I do
I can replace it
Quickly
With many things.
I have other
Feelings
That I prefer
And it isn't difficult
For me
To choose
Not
To be sad.
I do not
Cry
Partially because
I cannot
Easily.
Perhaps I am
Cried out?
I used to
Cry
But I don't
Now.
I have outlets
To release emotion
And a couple
People
To talk to.
I don't even have to tell people
About my problems
Because they are minor
And I feel
Odd
Awkward
Ashamed
To bring it up
Even if I am asked.
So even a friendly
Conversation
Helps
Even if the person is unaware
Of their impact
On my life.
I wonder
If these people know
How much I appreciate
Them
Love
Them
I want to help them.
With their worries
I want to improve their moods
But sometimes I need
Help
Myself.
Because no one
Is strong enough
Alone.

TheOmnipresentTreeStumpHurtsForTheTrees

The wait
The lie
Lying in wait the lie in the inn
Inside the weights that we
Pick up in gym

You broke
Falling apart
Sensitive
And then you said to me
"I'm fine"

What the ****.
You broke your promise
I want to be there for you
I will do what I can later
But don't lie to me.
Never lie to me.
I love you
And I want to help
Let me.
You've always been alone
But I'm here
You aren't alone
Not anymore
So let me in.

To love
Is to give your life
Into the hands of another
So that in your pain
They give you solace.  
Those of us being given love
Trading our own in return
Love is such a sacrifice
Because seeing the one you love hurt
Hurts more than any torture
More than the most agonizing death
Especially when you cannot do anything
When I am useless to help my love
I wonder why I even exist
Why can't I be
A knight in shining armor
Ride in unannounced and carry her off
To a world of peace
Of freedom
Without judgement
Without those who care bringing about their
Ridiculous love for her in counterintuitive ways
You know she cares about you right?
She's trying
But I suppose that makes you angrier
Hurt more
It's so corrupt that in this world
Love can so easily hurt.

My debt has been paid
Unspeakable crimes, I'm guilty
Still he died for me

Am I too nice?
Or just run by the societal expectation
That you hurt nobody?
The 1% that care enough to be silent
Almost every time...
I would never hurt myself
I am hurt enough by others that that is never a problem.

I run and hide
As if a wall could somehow
Protect me
From the onslaught of things
Amazing things
Terrible things
It becomes too much for my young mind
To handle

I am falling
Reaching for limbs as I go
Though I notice an absence of my
Own limbs.
Perhaps that is why I don't
Reach out to others
Reach out for help
So I fall
Curled in a fetal position
Hoping that when I
Finally land
It will not hurt too much.

I wait
And I wait
Again I wait
What else is there to life
Than waiting for the next thing?
How do we go on without something to wait for?
Hope is more important
And faith is waiting based on hope
Hopefully the wait is long
But we always want it short
Instant gratification
But we don't buy items
We buy anticipation
Our money is for the drive home
For fumbling around to plug the television in
And waiting for it to turn on.
And instantly, we are on to the next thing

Emotionless
Thoughtless
Wandering aimlessly
I cannot see
I merely weep my pain
Shoving it onto others
While my hurt is only ever
Skin deep

To escape this life
This stress
These schedules and time
My dream
My wish
Impossible yet
Yet
I want it so badly
Sunset
Warmth
To lay next to you
And to escape this infuriatingly repetitive
Stressful life

Once upon a time, there was a princess.  Though she was always playing with the boys, she really wasn't boyish.  She was beautiful, the most beautiful in the land.  Everyone noticed, but nobody ever said anything.  None of the boys ever told her they loved her because she was just too good.  Sadly, she only thought they believed her to be ugly.  Nobody seemed to appreciate her, so she became more and more rough.  When her body was too different in places, she couldn't do that anymore.  Instead, she became a very bold person and tried to scare everyone.  She wanted to seem strong, even if she was weak.  One day, when she was an adult and had moved out, a wandering warrior happened upon her working in her herb garden.  He was so struck by her beauty that he could hardly stand, so he leaned against a rock, hoping to get his balance.  He never really caught it again, though, and she worked for several hours without seeing him leaning there.  When she got up, though, she noticed him.  She rushed over to help him an brought him inside, unaware that her sheer amazingness was what was weakening him.

Why is it empty?
Has it been emptied?
Or has it just not been filled?

Why is it that
Whenever I look into your
Eyes,
I feel like I'm dreaming?
Your eyes are beautiful
Even more so because
They're yours.

Listening to a phone call
My dad to my grandparents
I find what's going on
My dad fighting his bitterness
Striving to move on
And my mom wants some court hearing
To settle or something
Wouldn't really be good for her
My dad is being nice really
He would benefit
Get a healthy sum of money
But he doesn't want that
He wants this to not happen
He wants to go back in time
But mostly, he doesn't want reminders.
Throughout this, I have found a few things.
I respect my parents much less
I have no home any  longer
My mom is an idiot
Of course she is, she started this
Didn't she?
Or was it some doctor my dad
Forbids me to see any longer?
That somehow
After seeing this man, my mother looked
Hatefully at my father for months
Before telling my father she wanted to
Tear our family apart.
Or was it a coincidence?
I don't know
Of course there's things that I don't understand
But I know some people stay together for the kids
Are we not worth it?
Very few things make me cry
But when they told me
I did.
And I hate it.
I hate this situation
My parents
I just want to graduate and start my own life
I'll do it right
Get married once
Have happy and healthy children
Enjoy my job
Stay in love forever.
I suppose their feat was quite remarkable
They decided to get married after 2 months
And stayed together almost 17 years.
I can beat that.
I have to.
I'll stay married forever when I make that choice
That commitment
That covenant
I need to show them how I feel
How angry I am
But I won't
Because I don't want to make this worse on them.
I just can't...
It's not right.
None of this is.

One of these days
I won't be able to contain my feelings.
And I'll finally tell you off.

The fallen
The old but yet new
Black capes swirling around
Covering the night
Frightening the children
Killing adults
Their faces obscured
Did they ever exist
Is that a hand
Or a hoof
Hide in the shadows
Or obscure in the light
Always behind you
Walking alone at night
But don't look
Or if you do, be wary
Consequences for this transgression get scary
Enters the damp darkness

I awake
And I reach for
You
But I feel only pillows

Worse pain than this sickness
I endure
By being separated from you
On today of all days.
Well, our six months is just a month away now.
I'll make it up to you.

I am exhausted
Body and Soul
And yet
Struggles continue

I just want to sleep

Sometimes I wonder
If my mother realizes how much
I dislike being here.

With her lame excuses
Cold mornings
And her guilt trips.

And my constant thought
Can I confront her today?
No, she did something for me today...
Yesterday...
Last week...
There's a holiday coming up...
I just want to explode
But I can't
Because I would feel guilty.

Around you
I still feel nervous
At times.
I'm not
Uncomfortable
And
I trust you
I just feel
Nervous.
Or is that
Excitement?
Well
I thought I'd let
You know
That the novelty
Still hasn't worn off.

A man to some, a child to many
A disciple known, not shared with any
A man set apart, though wholly not whole
Whom run by not greed, dug no bigger holes
To others in need, a kind giving friend
And bolstering love, for others 'til end
A soul distracted, by trivial things
The many broken hearts, small wooden kings
The many people, waiting to be saved
And his face youthful still, just barely shaved
So unapproachable to most, unknown
Preparing for his life, his newest home
Of travels and love he daily did dream
Then dying, left not enough on the scene

The best
The most powerful
The wealthiest
The fastest
The strongest
The smartest
The most interesting
The most funny
Why would you ever want to be
Any of these things?
If you are the ultimate
You have nothing to work towards
I certainly prefer to
Relax

I am usually
Pretty stupid.
I don't do it intentionally.
But it happens a lot.
So please forgive me my idiocy.

All death could ever ask for is life
All hell could ever ask for is heaven
All hate could ever long for is love
All the earth could ever want is the sky
And all I could ever want is you.

She is so amazing
So beautiful
So smart
So interesting
But she doesn't think she is.

All I want
Is to sleep next to you.
All night.
And wake up with you.
Cuddle with you.
It's all I long for.
Night and day.
Every hour
Waking or sleeping.
You're on my mind.

We are tainted
Poisoned
Weakened by our societal
"Needs"

We are bound
Bound to this earth
By our greed
Our lies.
Our pain.

Take the antidote
It is within reach
Remove your bindings
They're loose.
It's your choice.

Have you noticed that
When you reflect on things
"I should've..."
I hate the feeling
And I'm stressed lately.
Maybe I can be better
And what's done is done
And I hope everything works out
No bad repercussions for something I
Can fix

Sitting alone
In my room all day
Not by choice
Forced by a fever
I feel a familiar sensation
I am a coiled spring
I need to run
So badly
But alas, I also need to heal.

You leave
Because
You guys are unwilling to be
Kind
But I guess
You were always about the easy way

Kaydee Elizabeth Koshenina
I need you to know
That I love you
And I always will.

Am I a pushover?
Maybe
But
If other people get their way
I experience something new.
And that's okay.

Sometimes
I am stuck between
Truth
And the liar.
I know who
The truth is
As well as
The liar.
It's constantly obvious
To me.
But Sometimes I
Choose the liar.
I can't help it.
I don't want to.
But that's the thing.
Lies can be
Deceptively attractive.

We sit together
Cuddling and talking
But we're miles away
More often than not.

However
Somehow
The little bit of time I spend
In your presence
Somehow makes this separation
Endurable.

What I wouldn't give
For just one day
To laze about
In the heat
With close friends
And just talk about whatever random
Crap we happen to think of.