Answer me this.
What is the difference
Between words
And
Poetry?
I write words
That could pass as
Poetry
Or is it
Poetry
That could pass as
Words?
Someone tell me
Because I fail to see the difference.

Fear.
Do we grow out of it?
Or do we just grow
Accustomed to it?
Sometimes I don't know.

Say,
Do you ever walk away
And hope you'll be pulled back?

People.
I love them all.
They scare me.
They are beautiful, amazing creatures.
They are capable of so much love.
Yet the same amount of hate.
That is free will.
We have the choice
But we often choose
To hurt others
And ourselves.
Killing unborn children
Instead of giving them
To parents who are
Unable to have their own
Or have enough love to go around.
Dropping bombs
Just to pummel someone else into
Surrender.
I surrender.
I will lay down my life
To give others theirs
Back.
Try it sometime.
It doesn't mean dying.
Death is easy.
The real challenge is not giving up
Your life, but giving it
To Others.
I want to help
Even if it is small.
Will you help?
Help around you.
I'll help around me.
If we have enough people helping
Around themselves
We can help everyone.
One is not a lot.
But if you add ones together
It can become two.
Or three.
Or four.
Anything can be done.
If we just try.

I lay in my bed
Alone, it is not my choice.
It never is.
But I am content.  
That day will come.
And tonight, I lay alone.
But I am not lonely
No, never.
My thoughts and dreams swirling in my head
Mixing together
Creating their fiendish offspring
Was that a noise?
No, it was a demon.
I catch my breath
Curse my imagination
I prefer not to think of demons
But the angel bestowed upon me
Who, in my mind, joins me this night.
In our dreams, maybe so
But your warmth I now lack
Your soft whimpers in sleep
How you unconsciously hold me tighter.
My love
I will have you someday
But tonight, the only you I have
Is a thought.
Fading as I settle into the void
My last thought before sleep
*Someday soon.

Sometimes you don't want to be
Big.
You don't want to be supporting
Others.
You want to be supported.
Held.
You want to curl up and be hugged.
Fall asleep in someone's arms.
But you'll often find
Being big can be nice.

And here I sit
Refreshing my email
What do I expect?

Run, run away
Away from the fires
Run, run away
Away from the liars

Run from the obvious fakes
Run from the poisonous snakes
Go, now, on ahead.
I'd rather be caught
Than see you dead

Keep running, running
Your feet are like lead
Keep running, running
Just don't end up dead

This isn't the end
A thousand miles to go
But keep a fast pace
They'll catch you if you're slow

Medication for
Heartache and indifference?
Seems odd to me
But whatever.

A blank canvas
An idea
Kind of
Tainted and Bound
What shall I draw?
What should I write?
About this cursed house
All the memories
And pain
Experienced here
And the things I will never experience here
I'm at a loss for words
For lines
For ideas.
Help.

Why is it
That the one night I really
Need sleep
And can't afford to lose it
I can't sleep.
This really matters...

Hey
You
Yes, you.
Guess what?
...
I love you.
You're beautiful.
You have unsurpassed worth.
You have a different perspective.
You have a personality that is all your own.
You have some great memories.
So remember
That
**I love you

I see you in the hallway
Our eyes meet
And I'm happy for an hour or two.

I'm bored
I want attention
...
I need you.

Have you noticed
How throughout the day
The light changes?
In the morning
It is pale.
Somewhere around noon
It becomes
Warmer
Yellower?
After that
It becomes more
And more
Orange
Finally ending at night
With the orange street lights.
It's like a lifetime.
It starts
Young
And Innocent
Yet cold
And unforgiving.
It keeps going
And becomes slightly warmer
Learning about others
Accepting
But with slightly less energy.
As it reaches twilight
It is vibrant
At its peak
Loving
Caring
Learning
Hoping.
It proceeds to
Nighttime
It is the warmest
The most accepting
But like the cold, dark air
Death looms
Constantly threatening
To overtake this light
Which took a lifetime
To mature
And become itself.

I wrote this to myself when I left.  I never should have left anyway.  I just...  Didn't want this to be a part of me but...  I don't think I can escape.

You ****. I despise you. Your idiotic writing and stupid love poems. You don't even have a real ******* reason to quit! You switch to me, and still write... At least you can be honest now. People will finally see what an ******* you truly are.

I walk this empty road
I know not where I am going
And I forget from whence I came
And I am glad

I am glad for solitary emptiness
The radio is naught but static
I have music around, but I hate it
It makes me remember

These wonderful ruins
This beautiful decay
I relish my thoughts
Even I do not understand them

Sometimes I see another wanderer
I see the trail left behind
The art and the terror
And I pity

This end is just a beginning
This death is my life
For some, this is hell
But heaven is a state of mind

Holding you
I just feel
At peace.
I know you so much better than I did
When our relationship started.
4 months tomorrow!
Time really flies
When you're learning
Fighting
Crying
Yearning
And falling in love.
Nothing feels more right than being near you.
Nothing even compares.
Our relationship is constantly
Growing
Changing
Like rain drops on a  battered windshield
We started with 2 drops combining
But as time passes
We grow
Larger and larger
Transforming
And I find myself
More and more
In love with you.
And nothing else seems to matter.

I passed a note
A past note
Passed to you
In the past
What does it say?
Here's a hint
This is the note now
And it says
I passed a note
A past note
Passed to you
In the past
What does it say?
Here's a hint
This is the note now
And it says
I love you.

Physical distance
Bothers me.
But I can
Work with it
And deal with it.
Mental distance
*****.
I have trouble
Dealing with it
And working
With it.
I'm glad we don't have
The mental kind.

How blessed we are
To have, each other
You hold us all, close
By your side

These words
Ringing in my head
I didn't write them first
But I wanted to share how
They make me feel

I feel hopeful
Hopeful at the prospect of being
At anyone's side
At God's side
At your side

I feel blessed
Blessed to know God
And those who love him
And almost more so
Those who don't.

And I am at peace
The most powerful being
Ever
Is on my side
Loves me
And wants to work through me.

I am humbled
Because I can be nothing else.
I'm smaller than an atom to him
Yet he loves me infinitely
Passionately
He forgives me my sins
And he calls me friend.

It makes me want to cry.

I am up late
Doing homework
Of course.
I wonder sometimes
Where our priorities should be.
Is it really more important
To do some school-work
Than it is to get even
7 hours of sleep?
3 hours less than an average teen needs?
I'm tired
But I should keep working.

Be hopeful
Because that smile
Might be right around the corner.
All you have to do is
Find it.

Right now
I'm here
You're here
Everyone is
Here.
Let's make it good for everyone else
I don't mind if my experience
*****
As long as someone benefits.

I told you why I didn't think you were sorry
And you said that you were sorry
That it won't happen again
And I believe you.
Just don't become a liar.

This storm will blow over
And it'll be alright
I think I'm ready to try

I still can't believe you didn't catch it
Because you most certainly read it.
Now it is removed
So you cannot guess.
It's better that way.

Lingering thoughts in the back of my head
Temptations attacking at times that I dread
Get out of me, out of my head
If not, be careful
Of the places you tread

Please
Will you tell me
Anything and everything
That I don't know
That I won't do
That I will do
That I shouldn't do
Warn me
Yell at me
Throw something at me
Write to me
Email me
Just tell me
Before I really ***** up.

In your mind it seems
It's already done
You must've thought of it a thousand times before
And in your head, the consequences ended
When the real process was just getting started.
You say that you accept that I'm angry
Say that you know how I feel
But you're unwilling to take the consequences that come with my anger
That come with the way that I feel.
Do you have any idea how much I want
To scream at you?
To tell you what I really think?
The only problem is
I hate to see you cry.

Precious is the thought
The one of hope
Sliding through your mind
Let the  hope not fall from your head
Like water from a swimmer's ears
But let it slosh around in there
Without giving a moment's rest
Without leaving space for anything but
Hope for what is to come
With the assurance that nothing shall go wrong
And there is naught to fear.

Running
And tripping
Caught along the way
Falling
Breaking
Laughing as you say

*Help me

Am I a poet?
No.
I don't even like
Poetry.
It was never something I
Liked
Read
Enjoyed
Something changed
What was it?
Oh yes.
I read one
Of hers
And I felt pain
Agony
Excitement
Joy
Sorrow
Anger
Bitterness
I still
Hate
Poetry
And I refuse to write it
Or read it.
Cryptic words
With hidden meanings
Are too much work
To convey a feeling
These so called
Poets
Just seem...
I don't know.
Something.
I don't write
Poetry
I write
Feelings
Thoughts
Worries
Love
I am not a poet
I am a boy
A soul
A conscience
Yearning for a way
To express itself
In this vast
Unending
World
Of poets.

As time goes by
My thought flutter from my skull
Running into the walls of this house
"I have no home"
It's been true for a long time
But I think about how I feel here
At "home"
I feel angry
Stressed
I feel bitter
And I am becoming cold.
My mask starts to break, my emotions obvious
I don't want to be readable
I want to hide
I am here to help others after all
How I feel doesn't matter in the slightest
The slightest
All I need for my life to have been good?
Sweatpants
Music
My love
And I'm ready for anything thrown at me
Life swings wildly
But I've had training
And I know how to repair myself if I'm hurt
I'll run and never stop
The cold cannot touch me
Naked but for my sweats
I can withstand anything
Any man
Any challenge
I can do this.
Three things are all I need
How can I help you?

Differences
Are what bring us together.
Because without differences
How is it special
To have
Something in common?

Sometimes I wish I lived
In another time
Another dimension
With a different story
Maybe similar characters
But I don't think I would choose to be
Where I am
I wonder if I would change
Who I am.
Because that's the whole point.

So it seems that
The popular opinion
Is that not being desensitized is some flaw.
That when pressured to see things I hate I should just
Be quiet?
And that I should be reminded constantly that I am a terrible person
Because I am sensitive.
"It's just a movie."
...
So?
It's not my fault it makes me feel horrible inside!
I want to participate
But if I say how I feel honestly, I get
"Of course."
"You're always like this!"
I know I am
I don't try to.
"You're always against everything,"
I'm sorry for my views.
That's who I am.
But I can try to change, if it's what you really want.
...
Sorry.

I have nothing to say
Nothing to write
Nothing to feel
No, not anymore.
Everything has changed
My eyes are open
And I want to close them
But what I've seen can never leave

I love how
After we hang out
Almost every time
My shirt smells like you.

I love it.

I am always
Reaching
Stretching
Yearning
To hold you.
To touch you.
To love you.
But I always feel
Like I can't quite get
To you.
But.
I will never
Ever
Stop trying
To get to you
To change your life
To enrich you
To be with you
Even if I never can
I will always try
Should the day come
When you reach back.

I have never been close to
Anyone.
I have never thought of others
As being as intricate as me.
I felt a distance
Though I never noticed it
Until now.
I feel different with you
Especially when I think about
Our fights.
It seems like my problem is that
At least in the beginning
I didn't see you as another
Consciousness.
I merely saw you as a
Person I was fond of.
And I now realize
That this is how I see people in general.
Does that make me partially a
Sociopath?
I'm not sure.
But that's how it is.
And I'm sure I would still see you the same
As everyone else
If I didn't want to know you
To love you
So **** well.
In fact, I may have left a door open
To this solitary confinement of
My psyche.
And you pushed it open
Giving me extreme feelings that I don't
Understand.
I never will understand.
But I'll try.
Because you are not an
NPC
You are complete
Like me.
Like every person I don't understand.
You too are battered
Bruised
Scarred by things that I will never have to take.
Experienced in life
In love
In hate
In pain
In loss
In joy
In everything.
But not the same as me
But somehow
not different...

My life
Is not mine
I am returning to you
Your arms
Your love.
The worship says
That you are altogether lovely
And I agree.
Because you saved me
From myself.
I will bow to no other.
I am yours
And you are mine.
Your love
Is mine to spread.
I am the butter knife
The world is my bread.
I want to cover it with
The butter.
Your love.
Give me these visions
Give me this love
And help me
To love unconditionally.
I am almost crying
Humbled by your majesty
I can barely move
In your presence.
Everything pales in comparison
With you
And this blessed peace
This yearning to help others
However I can.
There is so much to do
And I am not sure if I can
Do it all.
I cannot do it
Alone
By any means.
I need your help.
And the help of those
Who You call
To love on this
Fallen
Broken
Colorless
Corrupt
Beautiful
World.
I ask this in your name.

Negative emotions
Are never worth more than
A stray thought
In fact
They aren't even worth that.

Happy 4 months
My love
My dearest
Though 4 is not a big number
I think it's pretty cool that we've
Lasted.
Through trial and error
We grow stronger.
Learn more.
Love more.
And I anxiously await
Things to come.

What is a word
If not a collection
Of sounds.
Can you describe
What a word is
Without using words?
A good definition
Never uses
The word it is
Defining.
So define a word
Without words.
Try for me
Because I am curious.

How do I know what
True beauty is?
Well,
I've had the pleasure of witnessing it
Every time
That I look into your eyes.

You are your destruction
You break apart, and others are to blame
Right?
It may be so
You might be ruined by others
Broken by their beliefs
But that is not all their fault
Nobody should apologize for who they are
The only one who can let you be hurt
Is you.

My music
So varied
So magical
So powerful
Music tames the heart of any
Wild beast.
Even
The beast within me.

I can never tell anyone
How I really feel
Or when I need help.
Because inside
I am a burning inferno.
Angry at almost everyone.
Tearing my hair out
Screaming at my tormentors.
It's too much.
Behind my kind and loving demeanor
I am angry.
I really do love and care for others
But I have demons inside
Who must never be let out.

This world
Is fallen.
This world
Is corrupted.
This world
Is possessed.
I pains me to see
Every day
That this world isn't
Getting better.
I too
Am sinking.
I forget
What matters
I am not
Polite
I don't compliment
When I want to.
Am I afraid?
Because I always feel
Like something is
Holding me back.
Something that is
Not
Me or Myself or I.
I want to tell people
"I love you"
I want to say
"I like that outfit"
I want to remember
"Please, thank you"
And I know to
And I try
But it isn't easy
And I find myself
Struggling
To say these things.
But I'm not sure why.