In a few days
I will be very
Busy.

The one thing I cannot stand
Is to be busy.
To have places to be.
Places I don't really
Want
To be.
Because my childish
Teenage
Juvenile
Mind
Just wants to play
And have fun.
Though I enjoy school
I don't want it to start.
I still have awhile before
But I have things
Important things
That need doing.
And my free time
Well
My most cherished possession
It's going to be mostly gone.
But I asked for this.
So I'll weather it.
But dangit,
I just want to relax.

Justice
Justification
Punishment
Sentence
They are only
Politically correct
Words for
**Revenge

My faith
My love
I am devoted
And I listen to fast
Angry to some
Music to soothe my nerves
And empower my soul

Canoodling is to
Kiss and cuddle amorously
...
I looked it up.

It soaks you to the bone
It gets in your socks
It gets in your mouth
Your eyes
Your shirt
It's dark
It's cold
It makes the day seem like a waste
But
It isn't all bad

It encourages the starting of fires inside
It encourages closeness
It encourages blankets
Candle-lit power outages
Or the watching of movies
It makes plants grow
It feeds the birds
And, of course,
It makes YOU happy

Sometimes I don't know
What I should do
Will it hurt somebody?
Maybe I'll just stay in bed

This music
It isn't emotional
It isn't intelligent
In fact, it's dumb
But it makes me want to move
To play
All day
All night
Run
Jump
Fight
Love
It excites me.
Does it excite you too?

Let's sing.
Now, let us sing.
For our happiness.
For our sorrow.
For our hidden feelings.

Let's sing.
Now, let us sing.
For our pain.
For our healing.
For our love.

Let's sing.
Now, let us sing.
For you.
For me.
For our amazing lives.

Even if you
Don't sing
Make a joyful noise.
Laugh.
Squeal.
Cry.

Because living
Is enough to be thankful for.
But all of us
Have so much more
Than living.
Even if we don't know it
Right now.

May our sight be unveiled.

Become part of the mindless masses
Be secure in your lack of identity
And then wake up when you are brave enough to be insulted

As I write
I am only just waking up
And I had a dream
That scared me
I don't know why
Perhaps it was a metaphor.
Perhaps unrealistic thoughts jumbled together.
Something had happened
Though I still know not what
And humanity had fallen.
I had found a group of people to be with
You were with me, love
I was so relieved
To have you near me.
Many months passed
Our little group of survivors
Huddled
In dimly lit sewers
Awaiting whatever fate may bring.
When out of the corner of my eye
I saw you walk out
Failing to mention to anyone where
You were going.
I of course went after you
Ignoring my fear of the scattered heaps of machinery
The darkness, movement in the night
And as I ran
I caught a glimpse of you
Seemingly talking to the air
Yelling at it
Asking why it was back to haunt you
After you thought it gone
All this time
And you began running
Screaming
Crying
And I ran after you.

I could no longer see.
But I knew you were there.
I dived and caught you.
I whispered to you that
You are not alone
And you do not have to face things
On your own.
I would give anything
To see you happy.
And suddenly, I was no longer looking through
My eyes.
Just an onlooker
Who happened to see you return
Alone
But it looked like a weight was lifted
An old scar healed
And I think I would've been glad.
Had I still been by your side.
I know not if this means anything
The sheer amount I think about you
The medication freaking out my body
I just know that I feel uneasy
A sense of dread fills me as I write
And I do not know why!
It may be meaningless
But I had to share this.

Most of my life
It took me 14 years
To be found
Saved.
I have no time
To wander
To drift
Because there is others
Who don't have this
Blessed
Love
Assurance
Forgiveness.
I must stay solid
And live for others
The remainder of my life.

It's easy to take the easy way
Easy to pretend that what is, isn't
Living without a care because you don't believe in caring
Dying without a care because your life didn't matter
You made it to the roof, but you kicked away the ladder
It carried you up, but you say it isn't there
How does that work?  Don't ask me
Because I'm wrong, right?  Listen
You know it's right but you choose left
Walking away because it's easy, that road leads to pain
To death and burns, cuts
Rainbows fade, unicorns aren't real, but it sure is fun to pretend
Right?
It's fun to write nasty things, fun to offend and upend
Fun to push and pull, throw rocks, fire shots
Chainsaws don't give a peaceful sound
Guns hurt your ears, harsh sounds
It's merely a sound, but harsh sounds can break your ears
Harsh thoughts can break your mind
Thoughts of death can bring it, hasten it
No need to be chasing it.

If Cupid is real
I've been shot many
Many times.
The other arrows always
Missed
However
He probably ambushed you
While you were reading.

I must hurt
Digging in
Tormenting you without end
Except at the end
The whip searing your flesh
Pulling your skin apart
Only to become the spit in your wounds
And I have the nerve
To be the hammer
Pounding nails into your feet
The words in your head
Jeering
Laughing at your suffering
And now I have the
Unbelievable nerve to think I know what I'm doing
When I am the one who did the most damage.
Forgive me
On my knees I have no other thought
Forgive me
Please please pleasepleasepleaseplease
Forgive
I torment you so
Yet, in your presence,
All I can feel is
Joy.

Real monsters
Do not hide in grass
They do not
Stay off of the sidewalk
They are not
In the street
They hide
Just out of sight
In the hearts
Of men.

Hiding never helped
Hiding only hurts
Because you forget you're hiding
You just think nobody cares
Instead, stand up
Throw down
You own this place
You own this earth
You deserve just as much as others
Don't hide, because you won't be sought
Seek, for you may just find what you want

I am not
Blind
In the common sense.
I can see
With my eyes.
But there is so much
More
That I want to see.
I can see the sun.
I can feel its heat.
And it is
92,960,000 Miles
Away.
But I cannot see you.
I can see your body.
But I am blind
To You
I want to see your emotions
Your sadness
Your happiness
But I cannot.
And you are
5 feet away.
But I can try
With my other senses.
To hear your joy.
To feel your pain.
...
Help me
To remove the blinds
That cover my eyes.

Conditional love
Is not love at all.
It is a contract.
A contract saying that you will
Act a certain way
If the other person acts the right way.
And if that contract is violated
Your "love" would be
Void.
Love is a promise.
A promise that you will not stop
Caring for the other person
No matter what happens
What they say
Or do
That you may not like.
You love them anyway.
If you love someone
You will stay by their side
Through thick and thin
Through all trials and tribulations
That life may throw at you.

At least, that's what I think.

Do we truly know ourselves?
Is a reflection true?
Is the reflection of the reflection
(What others see)
True?
What can be more true than
The me that I know
Which does not exist?
I do not know myself
But neither do you.

I didn't want to do it today
Didn't want to ruin today
But I couldn't lie to you
I'm sorry
But this is what is right
To me, at least
I know you are sad
That you don't want to hear from me
But I do care
So I kept my promise
I expect you to keep yours

Even when I am trying
To tread carefully
I ***** up.
In fact
I made it worse.

It was just getting good
I was enjoying myself
My escape
But now I'm back to reality

I don't want to be home

Today I feel useless
I lay in bed despairing
Time crawls when you're sick

Lying here
Nothing makes me happier
Than having you snuggled close
Falling asleep on my chest

For you
I think I would do
Anything.
Because of this one
Tiny little thing.
I don't know what it is
But I like it.
Love
When I think about
You
I don't care about
Anything
Else.
All I want is to
Hold you
Kiss you
Fall asleep to you
Wake up to you.
Even things
I don't like
I would do
If it meant I could see you
Even for a moment.
Cause I'm
Crazy
For you.
And honestly
I like it.

This is all
Pretentious
I don't care about writing
I don't care about being deep
It's unnecessarily complex.

Sometimes
If I don't spend enough time
With myself
The voice in
My head
Stops being
Mine.
Your voice
Is yours
Hold onto it
Don't take the voice
Of someone
Else.

Society
Is poisoned
By religion.
Religion
Brings about
Separation.
It moves us
Away from God.
It gives us
The need
To judge those
With different
Beliefs.
It has led
To bloodshed
Throughout history.
My faith
However
Is not religion.
It tells me
Not
To judge
Others.
Because that is not
My
Job.
I am here
To bring love
Not hate
Or
Judgement
Which people use
To get their
Own brand
Of life.
They thrive off of being
"Better"
Than others.
They think
"At least I'm not
Like them."
But this is
Wrong.
Love is the way
Not
Judgement.

Do you have any idea
How many times, just sitting in class
You enter my mind?
Barge into my thought?
Take them over.
It's alright
Because you're that captivating.

Early in our relationship
I made a drawing
Remove the mask
I felt no need to mention it.
But I think a mask really isn't a
Good thing.
Not only does it fool others
It suffocates you.
It also makes your face sweat.

Yesterday
Something happened.
I don't think it was bad.
In fact,
I'm sure it wasn't.
After all
It improved your mood.
Made you happier.
Jovial.
I don't know what to think
But heck.
It's cool.

Have you ever noticed
That when you're running
You aren't listening to your
Breathing?
But when you stop
You notice it
And feel more tired?

In life
Have you ever noticed
That you get caught up
"Running"
And don't stop?
You are going with the flow
But if you stop and look back
You may notice
You aren't the same person
you may be compromising your
Morals
And not even notice.
Hurting others
Without a thought
And leaving behind those
You really care about.
I suggest
Stopping
Turning around
And looking at your life
Because you may be tired
And not even notice it.

Just a thought.

Hearing about these famous poets
Depressed
Depressing
Hearing about people who
**** themselves.
It's sad
And it disgusts me
That somebody would turn to that
That anyone would allow it to happen
To let somebody feel so unloved
That the end would be more attractive
I cannot comprehend
I am not depressed
So I do not have the temptation
Because when I have thought of it
It seemed idiotic
Because there is always at least one person
Who deeply cares
Who thinks of you before falling asleep
I promise
I care
Even if it seems like nobody does
I don't judge others
Choices are your own
But your life is not
Ending yourself brings lifelong scars to everyone.

The lion lays with
The lamb.
It is true
Occasionally.
I have seen it.
No, not with actual animals
But with people.
Within people.
The rage is near to the

Peace

And they can be sated.
But more often than not
The lion devours the lamb.
Takes it whole into its mouth.

CRUNCH

And the lamb is no more.
It is crushed to pieces.
And only the lion remains
Savage
Powerful
And
Greedy.

Do not let your lion
Consume your lamb.

Just a thought.

As I walk through this life
I am burning.
Burning alive.
Flames ripping
Tearing at my flesh.
I have been terribly disfigured
Left a mangled shell
Of my former self.

As I walk through this life
I am reviving
Reviving my soul.
Bandages healing
Light restoring.
My disfigurations fade
But never leave.

As I fall into hell
Temptations ravaging me
As the hungry flames
Taint my skin
I know I am falling
And I feel it.
But can I change?

Lifted up
I feel restored
My wounds healing at once.
But I know that there are others
Falling
So I must go back.
I must return.

I am no longer falling
Though I constantly waver
I push through the flames
Standing strong when attacked
Brutalized by those I love.
But I must go back down
To bring them up.

She was crying
She had before
I'm sure she will again.
She says she wasn't going to anymore.

Hypocrite!

What about what you told me?
You say "I'm ok"
When you're obviously not
You're lying to yourself
And me
You know that!

I was disgusted.
Lying to yourself.
To me.
Don't you know how much I care?!
How much I love you?!
Why would you lie to me then...?
I told you not to say it again.
I told you to promise.
And I will always be here for you.
Even if something somehow changes between us
If you stop loving me
If we fade in some way
I will always love you
My shoulder is for you to cry on
After all,
I don't use it.
I welcome tears
If they come.
But it's not easy for me.
Even if I try

But you have cried around me...
Is it three times now?
I hope I'm not causing it
Somehow
Because I would hate that.
You kept asking me
Before you cried
Why I was looking at you.

Well.
I didn't know what to do.
What to say.
It's tremendously difficult for me
To reach out
Say the things I did.
I don't do well with those things.
But for you
I will always
Always
Always
Try.

It's getting warm out
I can enjoy being outside
The only issue
Short-shorts are in season
And I'm blinded by the pasty-****-white legs
Filling the school

I feel really ****** today
Headache and stomachache won't leave
So I think about you

I've thought
I understand
I hope
I'm right

It's not to be taken lightly

I'm officially crazy
Both about you
And otherwise

I feel lost without loss bringing the feeling
Lost without you
My love
The one who makes my life livable
A reason to wake in the morning
And to fall asleep
Because I dream of you
I'm with you always
But times like now
I need your embrace
Your soft warmth pressed against me
Is all that it takes to bring me peace
Your quiet whimpers when you fall asleep
Snuggling close in the way that I love.
I need you right now.

When I am around you
I am Happy
Joyful
Amused
Content
Excited
Mesmerized.
I don't feel like this
Alone.
But around you
Something changes.

I'm uncomfortable
Anxious
And I don't know why
I don't know what is wrong
But I can't fix it

We all have words
We enjoy.
Some of mine?
I'm glad you asked.
Gothic
Shadowy
Scythe
Cross
Slash
Deep
Tattered
Gouge
Stit­ch
Terrifying
Love
Fear
Unknown
Unnamed
Tear
Hide
Blood
Churning
­Agony
Hatch
Eternal
Internal
Unending
I don't necessarily like
The connotations of
These words.
But I like them.
What are your favorites?

I don't think about it much
But
You really do care.
I don't think I try nearly as hard
And that makes me sad
But I just want to say
You make me happy

He is alive.
My life is renewed.
My faith is restored.
He is alive.
I cannot be more
Happy
He is alive.
Everyday.
He saves.
He protects.
He sacrifices.
He forgives.
He cleanses.
What could possibly be
hateful
About that?

The rain is here
You want to drown
But there is light
On the horizon

Sticky wet heat
Clothes are so gross
But there is cooling
On the horizon

Doubting my existence
And fathoming things bigger than us
But there is peace
On the horizon

Stress and tests
Useless work
But there is Summer
On the horizon

It seems like
Instead of being a relief
It is a reminder.

This world is so messed up
So fallen
So cracked
Robbed
Objectified
Run by greed
Lust (A different type of greed)
I don't even watch the news
Because it's all
Pain.
And it hurts me.
Because I feel guilty for it.
All of it.
I live a normal life
By many standards
But it is so privileged.
I have the luxury to whine about my own problems.
I should be out helping people
Not sitting at my computer
Writing "poetry"
Yuck
I'm such an idiot.
I cannot work yet
Even drive on my own
Why is that limiting me?
I want to HELP PEOPLE
Save people.
Though I like learning things
I shouldn't be in school
When there's so many people without FOOD
Without HOMES.
Who am I to complain about my
Tiny problems?
My life is run by greed.
That's all there is to it.
But I can't escape.
My regrets constantly grow
And maybe when I get a chance
I can HELP PEOPLE.
Somehow.

Take my hand
Take my hand
Don't fall down to
Your neverland

You're falling and you'll
Never land
So take my hand
Not neverland

We'll make it grand!
Completely grand
So take my hand
Take my hand