What happened to the person I used to look up to. What happened to the person who told me they love me everyday and every moment they could. What happened to the person who cuddled me when I wasn't feeling well or just needed someone. What happened to the person who kept my secrets locked away. What happened to the person who said they'd be here for me no matter what. That person my friend.. Has lied.

The sky turns dark and the stars come out once again.
The beautiful glow of the moonlight that shines down brighting up the darkness around me.
The silent fuzz sound heard all around and every once in awhile you hear the chirps of the crickets.
It's peaceful and relaxing to be alone.

My mind is out of control and so is my heart. I have no clue what to feel. but when I do I feel anger and sadness. I lose my train of thought. Repeat Repeat You must repeat to yourself so you don't forget. but then it's lost. Just like me. everything doesn't seem as important as I thought they would be. I'm like a ticking bomb that can explode at anytime. every person around  me bringing me closer to exploding. Words Words words flow out of their mouths. I can hear them from a far distance. but it all just turns to fuzz. but none of it seems to matter anymore. I just feel numb towards everything. the feeling of peer helplessness. It's as thick as blood. Nothing seems to matter anymore. *Nothing

You know your sad when all you can do is listen to that one song that makes you feel so much. Everything you try to do won't make it go away. Nothing will make the pain go away. Especially those people who hurt you and are still acting like they did nothing wrong. Those who still act like your just a second choice. All you can do is listen and you won't act because your stuck. You feel empty inside.
Their are moments when if feels like the sun is shining threw and you tell yourself over and over I will be ok  I will be ok
and then suddenly, Boom.  Everything just seems to go wrong all over again. Even after the fact you feel like you want to give up or that you need to give up. You go back to that small moment. To the small ray of sun shine. You think about how you felt. You want to feel alive again the need the want it floods your body and you just want to break down into tears. Because you feel so far away for everything and everyone.  But that's all you will ever be. Stuck in the darkness. While everyone else gets what they want and what they think they **deserve

It ends tonight- The all-American rejects

Your subtleties

They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

The pain I go through on the daily, is horrific. I try to hide it. Not for you, but for my self and others.  You always try to say that I don't want you happy. And That all I do is think of myself.
But have you ever thought of us the whole way to this point.
I can't speak or move a muscle without making you angry or upset with me.
Your like a mirror. I can't move without looking at myself. I have to watch my every move. I have to to be perfect. Just for you, And the thing is I am not perfect. I cannot be perfect for you. And you blame me for not being so perfect as **you

You are the
        window
              to my pain
  Cloudy with
            no chance of clarity
      I can see
               how far
away you are
                    Out of focus,
           still hurting me
                      *so easily