iii.

it doesn't matter
how i wear my body
anymore.
if i can't give you
a pleasant sight,
i can also eat
your eyes out for you.

You're across
An ocean swell
You're across
A boat's plough crushing
Waves down down

You're beyond
An island crowned in orange cloud
Seagulls busy dancing tangos
On the greasy wind.

You're way past
The strokes of spits of sand saliva
Of palm trees clapping coconuts
Making feigned horsehoove beats
To bring the waves a shouting match.
Roars clean the salty, dry air.

You've passed,
The shallow castles
Of whale dens,
Keeping ships in new homes
Wooden kin with keels and ribs
Flies and jibs.

You're not here, that's for sure,
But,
I feel you,
Maybe somehow.
I do.

they seem to find ways to claw through my skin
when i'm tired enough already giving advice to myself...
how can I give my words to you too?
when my mind drowns in chaos
i fill the water in bottles and my feelings fall in with it
the thought of someone holding your hand every step of the day
sitting on park benches just to be with you
slipping off your shoes when you're too drunk to function
kissing your forehead when it's time to fall asleep
and pouring your heart out into their ears
finding people who are truly there for you
are hard to find when you only have time to be there for yourself

because when she was young,

people would ask her

"what superpower,

do you wish for?"

so without any hesitation

she replied "invisibility."

and then,

and then she grew up realising

it came true.

it's one of those
things; how
coffee, after dinner
sounds good but
you can't sleep when you get home &
how the trees look so beautiful
dying and gold
still, outside it freezes you
down to your bones
it's when you feel like that
last slice of cake that
got left out
it's this
breathing to scream but
don't open your mouth
I've been
digging for reason
buried in doubt
to believe in what's good when
that isn't allowed &
I've swallowed my gun
it was loaded with love but
it shot out my lungs
I learned love's not enough