My throat aches from goodbyes I've held
behind my teeth; I'll never tell.
The friends I miss say, "See you in Hell."
Without a word uttered from their lips.
Contain it in my stomach; a terrible acid.

So I'm drinking, honey.

I sit on my bed, pictures in my hands,
and a bottle looming on my nightstand.
I read once honey can soothe
rough words into sweet and smooth,
tooth-rotting platitudes.

So I'm drinking honey.

There's no way to fix the tears I made
pieces of film fall from my hands.
Onto my floor, I know what to do,
I lift my rug and I grab a broom.
What good are these to me and you?

Stop drinking honey!
Stop drinking, honey!

I wander through the woods
on a brisk Autumn evening.
Leaves growing crisp with frost
beneath my heavy boots
and light fading faster than
heat escaping from my head.

I stop.

Only the pines boast any greenery.
The rest of the trees' leaves create
a path that I've yet to disturb
with my trudging trail.
I shove knit-covered hands into my pockets
and release a foggy breath in still air.

I wait.

A slight rustle in pine needles is my clue.
I'll stay until my cheeks redden from the chill
and the sky releases snow as pale as my bones.
I'll wait for when leaves are crushed
yet I'm still as stone.
I'll leave now that I know

I'm not alone.

talking on the phone makes my skin crawl
I can't see who I'm talking to
maybe they're rolling their eyes
or silently laughing as I trip over my words
perhaps they're trying to hide me
for someone else in the room would rather I not speak
and it's ridiculous, truly, I don't want to talk
People calling requesting estimates for their homes
no heats, no ac, no need to hear from me
I'll check the messages and send them on their way
but they call again and again and again
wanting to know if I got their message
do they really need to hear from me?
Honestly! I'm the go between!
Just leave a message with the info I requested
on my answering machine.
I got your message, I really did
I sent it to where it needed to go
you don't have to talk to me, please stop trying
I turn the volume down on my phone
stop calling me, I won't answer
but your message won't go unheard
stop calling me, I won't answer
my silent phone rings with recorded words