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Jul 2016 · 451
Anger: You never listen
Talula Jul 2016
Your seriously getting mad at me?
For trying to find something fun for the whole family?
Saying I'm being a bother, I'm such a liar
Why do you always get so mean?
No other opinions
No other thoughts
Gonna fuss and repeat yourself
When you could've just said
"No, we cannot"
Calling everyone crazy
When its actually you!
You also make mistakes and misremember
Just accept that your human, too!
I know I have my faults, my lies and such
But I'm just so tired cause I can't speak up
Gotta keep it all in
My mom signals me to "hush"
For patience, I'm just gonna pray
Cause the less I say
The less you do
I accept I can't say how I feel
Cause YOU'll NEVER LISTEN DUDE
My dad made me burning anger mad tonight, at 11:30 PM. Didn't stop fussing till 11:56, got lucky I guess. This was not meant to be a good, meaningful poem....it's more of a rant.
Apr 2016 · 658
Big Dreams
Talula Apr 2016
You won't have small problems
If you've got big dreams
There'll always be a roadblock
something pulling the loose strings
No one said it'd be easy
To achieve such a thing
But when you have plans
You always preserve
And succeed

You don't let the things
That are thrown at you leave a mark
You always take a swing
To knock them out of the ballpark
Right from the beginning
Right from the start
You fought for what you wanted
Gave it all your heart
It may seem like your getting no where soon
But add this to your smarts
A large fire always begins with a spark
Talula Mar 2016
Dead hearts
Broken minds
Bad dreams
Hard times
Just let it hurt
Just let it bleed
Don't let anyone know
That your crying

You feel
Like there's no hope
No sense praying
It's all a joke
It never really helped
Never stopped the hurt

Oh darling, there's something you should know

You can find refuge
In His love
Give it try
You might be surprised
How much weight can be lifted off your shoulders
Despite the tribulations you may through

You can find revival
For your dead heart
Feb 2016 · 395
Shadow (with modifications)
Talula Feb 2016
(Original 2/28/16)

I am but a shadow
I exist on the edge of light
And dark
Get too close and I disappear
Silently I await
Moving swiftly only to the beat of my own heart

(The below was added 3/3/16. Tell me if it  fits or sounds stupid.)

I am haunted by ghosts that have lived in my past
I am bound by the shackels of the darkness
When will I be released?
I am constantly following a being
That is no longer me...

I am but a soul
Stuck in the shadows
Dear self...hear my cry
Let me in
Before we are both destroyed
Comments are much appreciated
Feb 2016 · 472
I See Your SOS
Talula Feb 2016
Can't you see me?
I'm standing right here
I want to be something you can lean on
But it's like you don't know I'm there
I see you hurt
And fake your smiles
I wish we could talk
Just a little while
I can tell....
Your demons...
they're becoming stronger
Please, let me help rid you of these burdens
Your always saying no one cares,
or no one truly knows
Yet here I am, TRYING
Trying to understand what troubles you hide
And what hurts you hold
I see your SOS
Flaming bright from down below
The only question is.....
Will you allow the rescue?
First poem in a long time. Would appreciate tips on how to improve.
Sep 2015 · 365
Who am I?
Talula Sep 2015
I don't like who I am
I don't like who've I become to be
A boy crazy teenager
Who wants to be just like everybody
I have no identity
No individuality.......

I know who I want to be
I know I want it badly
But I don't know how to change
I want relationships on the back burner
I want Religion and Personal Growth on the front
Lets not forget about being successful in school and in adulthood
I want to be that independent woman that makes a difference
Takes a chance
MAKES A CHANGE!!
But I'm not that girl.......
I am a robot
I do as I am told
I follow the crowd
And i am stuck in an emotional and mental prison I locked myself in
And I've lost the key....
Sep 2015 · 560
My Story...9/25/15
Talula Sep 2015
They know my name
But not who I am, not my story
Yet they feel they have the right to judge me
They know my smile
But not my pain
Yet they think they know what I stand for, what I mean
They see my bruises
But not my scars
Cause I've Hidden behind layers and layers of lies
I hide my true self so they can't see
Be the annoying, cheerful, ****** girl you always pretend be
They don't who I am
My story, my life
Yet...thinking again.....
Do I?
Sep 2015 · 563
Wishing Well
Talula Sep 2015
I watch the still water
All the glistening coins
So much false hope...well here's my wish....

I wish I wasn't wishing anymore
How many is it now? I stopped keeping score.
I'm tired if throwing pennies in this stupid wishing well
I have to do something....
Here goes nothin...
Talula Sep 2015
Trapped inside this place called home
Never allowed to wander alone
Four more years am I'm on my own
Can't you let me get a taste of the real world?

Hours and hours with nothing to do
Watch TV
Read a book or two
Same routine,
Day by day
Mommy, Daddy
When will you let me out to play?

Go out with friends
Have a smile
I promise I won't be gone a long while

Won't you have some faith
Have some trust
Know I won't do the things I must not
Your teachings are always playing in my head
So mommy,
Daddy
Can I go out with my friends?
Sigh....my life is so BORING!!!!
Sep 2015 · 631
Best Friend Game
Talula Sep 2015
Tired of playing the
"Best Friend Game"
Every time I try
I land flat on my face
Trying to fit in
Don't even need a high status
Just want a good person
Whom I can share all my secrets
Yet here I am
Once again
"Now don't you worry, you'll get another chance"
Yeah, that's happening
So here I go
Sitting alone
Looking at all the smiling faces in the room
Why is it so challenging
I can never understand the rules
Looks like this is another round
And you lose
My new high school experience to a T
Jun 2015 · 306
Your own world
Talula Jun 2015
I look back
To when it was you and me
But all
I see
Are broken memories

I gave you my heart
But you have empty hands
You were the key
To my happiness

My tears flow
Like the rain
Want them to go
Please go away

This pain I feel
Deep inside
Won't soon subside
You were my light
When it was dark outside
You were my hope
My fire
That needed to ignite

But you left me
Didn't even look me in the eyes
You never cared
That it hurt me when you lied
You made me believe that you loved me
When in real life
You didn't care
If I does
If I fell from a million feet
Would you be there to catch me?
I'm slowly crumbling
About to fall
But you don't care at all
Your just another boy
In your own world
Jun 2015 · 482
Fairytale Ending
Talula Jun 2015
I feel like I'm falling
But I'm standing straight on my feet
I feel like I'm dying
But I can hear my heart beat
I feel like crying
But I don't shed a tear
I want you gone
But I need you right here

Don't move on to another girl
Come back to me
To our fantasy world
You can be the prince
I will be the princess
You can save me
From all the evil villains
We were holding hands
Together we were happy
I'm dreaming of
My fairytale ending

My head is spinning
My ears are ringing
From listening to our song
To me it's like a lullaby
But it makes me cry
Cause it brings back memories
Of the happy days
That used to be
Did you forget
About you and me

I saw you with that other girl
Now you don't smile
Anymore
You know that you
Were meant to be
With me
Don't move in to another girl
Come back to me
To our fantasy world
You can be the prince
I can be the princess
You can save me from all the evil villians

I'm the damsel in distress
Your my Prince Charming
You say don't
Worry, I'm coming
Me and you together
We are always happy
Finally I've got
My fairytale ending
Apr 2015 · 1.4k
Imperfect Girl
Talula Apr 2015
You left me behind
Don't you know I'm a
Diamond in the rough

You said you'd never
Leave me
You said I wasn't
Good enough

You said
My eyelashes didn't curl
The right way
And sure, my hair didn't
Always tend to stay
So what, I gotta a little
Peach fuzz on my face

But let me tell you one thing

When your coming back to me
Don't expect me
To accept your apology x2

Cause finally
I feel happy
Because you can see x2

How many boys in
the world
Would love this
Imperfect girl
Would love an imperfect girl
They love an imperfect girl
I'm an imperfect girl, girl

I may not walk down a runway
Not everybody knows my name
But guess what?
That's okay!

Can't you see
I don't need my name in lights
And I don't need you to tell me
How to live my life
I'm alright, alright
With wearing a $20 dress
My goal aren't to be like everybody else

Can't wait to see

When your
Crawling back to me
Back to me
Begging
Baby please
Baby please
Come back to me
Come back to me

Don't expect me
To accept your petty
Apologies
It won't work on me
No, it doesn't work on me
Now you can see

How many boys in
this world
Would love this
Imperfect girl
Oh,
Would love an imperfect girl
They love an imperfect girl
I'm an imperfect girl, girl
Yeah
We're imperfect girls
Mar 2015 · 747
Be Careful
Talula Mar 2015
If you loved me like you told me
Be careful with my heart
You can take it
Just don't break it
Cause my world would fall apart
Mar 2015 · 344
Done With You
Talula Mar 2015
You left me
To drown in my tears
You said if I called
You'd always be here
So where were you when I called out your name
You'll never realize
That you caused me so much pain
But I like the feeling in my veins
I love when your name is stuck in my brain
I love you
Do you love me too?

you put me thru
So much
I can't explain
I gave you my heart
You threw it away
Yet I love you more everyday
Boy I love you
Why won't you love me too
This feeling that flows thru my veins
It hurts
But I don't mind the pain

I wanted only you
But you broke me
When you said we were through
I tried so hard
I wasn't good enough
Even though you don't feel the same
I still want to feel your touch

Sometimes it took all my strength
Just to get through
Another day
But all the pain
You put me through
Made me stronger
So much stronger
Did you think I'd die without you
Better off without you...

Now your the one that's
Asking me to stay
Your the one that's in excruciating pain
Now you say you love me too
But I'm afraid
It's too late...
Cause you left me all alone
To drown in my tears
You said if I called
You'd always be here

Boy I loved you
But you threw my love away
Boy I wanted you
But you didn't want me to stay
Now I'm done with you
And your begging on your knees
But I'm sorry
Your way to late
Finally this princess
By herself
She escaped

Because you left me alone
To slowly die away
I only wanted you to stay
But I should've known
Right from the start
You didn't own
A human heart
So I'm done chasing

I don't even know why
I even hoped
I guess I wasn't expecting hurt
But now its over
Yeah we're through
No more "I love you's"
You the best liar
I ever knew
But now I'm done with you
Done with you
Compliments of my old song book
Feb 2015 · 759
Smile
Talula Feb 2015
I don't wanna see you cry
To make people happy, I strive
Cause I know
What it feels like
To have sadness
In your life


Oh wont you smi-a-i-a-ile
The storm will last a while
But the sun
will shine
through the clouds
Oh won't you smi-a-i-a-ile
Smile


I don't wanna see you hurt
Cause I know what its like
To feel like dirt
But you are a beautiful
Wonderful
An awesome child of God
Take my hand
And we can find
Refuge in his word
I assure
You
You
YOU

YOU'LL SMI-A-I-A-ILE
The storm will last
A little while
But the sun
Will Shine
Thru the clouds
Come on and smi-a-i-a-ile
Please just smile

The thunder booms and the lightning strikes
Tears fall like rain
from your eyes
Just have faith
And believe
And all your burden will be relieved
Oh, won't you trust me?

Finally
You smi-a-i-a-ile
You were stuck in a storm
For a while
But the sun shined
Through the clouds
And now
The world
Smi-a-iles
Come on
And smi-a-i-ile
We've been thru
The storm
Sometime
We found
Happiness
In the sunshine
Now its time
Now it time
To smile
Talula Feb 2015
You have chemistry with her
but you have history with me
its time for you to decide
with whom you'd rather be
you say you love me
but I'm not so sure
Every time I see you
smiling at her

I like him but he likes her
this whole relationship is such a blur
don't know when he's truthful,
don't know when he's false.
is he really faithful?
or will he throw away my love?


Won't you take my hand
let me know you understand.
Were you pretending the whole time
or I have lost someone who wasn't even mine
baby you're gone
I've lost you

I remember our first kiss
Is it really that easy
for you to forget?
This can't be the end for us
Say your not leaving the girl you love

* I like him but he likes her
this whole relationship is such a blur
don't know when he's truthful,
don't know when he's false.
is he really faithful?
or will he throw away my love?

Won't you take my hand
let me know you understand.
Were you pretending the whole time
or I have lost someone who wasn't even mine
baby you're gone
I've lost you


I hope you are happy with what you've done to me
I hope you see the lies you told deliberately
but I'll miss
the way we kiss
the way we fell in love *

Won't you take my hand
let me know you understand.
Were you pretending the whole time
or I have lost someone who wasn't even mine
baby you're gone
* You're gone
I've lost you
I am italicized and ConcreteAngel is bold.
This is a song. And the lyrics are a little weird in their font.
Feb 2015 · 897
I'll Always Be Here
Talula Feb 2015
Your scared
Your confused
You feel all alone
The pain feels as if it goes deep into your soul
You have thoughts
Frightening thoughts
No one understands
You think
No one can possibly understand
Well, my sweet, I do
Let me take your hand
We can walk this path together
There will mountains, valleys, and oceans to cross
But we can endure the roughest weather
You fall, I fall with you
Tough it out?
You'll never have to
Tell me your secrets
Tell me your fears
Tell me everything
I promise, baby
I'll always be here
For one of my est friends boyfriends going thru a tough time.
Feb 2015 · 1.9k
Confused
Talula Feb 2015
Theres a feeling I can't quite explain
It comes and goes
An agonizing pain
It tightens my chest
As if someone is pulling on my heart
Sooner or later
I'll be torn apart

Theres this feeling
Thats raging inside
Like an angry storm
Rain made of tears I cannot hide

Theres this feeling
I can't make it go away
A dumb emotion
That keeps coming back again
It makes me cry
Till I can't anymore
I guess thats how you know
your heart is broke

Keep it all in I say
Build up a dam
Keep it to yourself I say
don't let them in

Theres this feeling
Does no one understand?
When I'm quiet and alone
When I lie and say I'm okay
I need someone to hug me say
Tell me everything

I try so hard to be the best I can be
But I always end up failing
Wear a smile
So they can't see
Whats behind it
What I'm hiding

It hurts so bad
And I don't know why
I want to disappear
Some days I want to die
Theres this feeling
I can't quite explain
I guess I'll let it build up
Until it breaks the dam
I don't know whats going on. Some days I just cry cause I suddenly feel like I'm nothing. It seems like everything good always gets messed up in the end for me. My best friend may not trust me anymore, my parents are always in my case, and I feel like I can't give the guy I love all he deserves. It hurts so much and I have no idea what to do. How can I talk to someone when I myself don't know whats wrong? So, I know its bad to do, but all I can do is let it all build up inside until the dam breaks. Until I break.
Feb 2015 · 380
Heartbroken
Talula Feb 2015
Let you slip right thru my fingers
Could've had you for my own
Made you think I hated you
But now I see you in her arms
I was so blind
Didn't realize
That the entire time
I wanted you mine.......

I should have seen that my prince charming was here all along
but this princess took way too long
so he moved on
and gave away my love
But tell me what am I supposed to do
When I never even knew I loved you?
"I cried a lot because of you. I laughed a lot because of you. I believed in love because of you. And now I'm heartbroken, because of you."
Feb 2015 · 998
The Game of Love
Talula Feb 2015
We meet once again
My love, my friend
Ready to play this game?

The game of love
The game of life
Playing
But we never win

We try and try
Until we lose
Time to put everything away

We part our ways
Until we must play again
Most people would tire
But this game, I desire
I will play it until the end

Tell me my love
I need to know
Will things remain same
When its over
When its done
After we go insane?
Feb 2015 · 8.4k
Video Game
Talula Feb 2015
I must admit
I fell for the pretty lies you told
I guess I just wanted a hand to hold
Now my heart is broke

You made
Me go behind her back
Because I thought you liked me like me that
Now I don't know what to do
I need a guide to help me thru

Chorus:

I guess i was just another level to play
On his stupid, stupid video game
All his sweet talking
Smooth Walking
Always holding me close
Was just a strategy
But Baby
I'm sorry
In this video game
I'm the boss

FiRST Verse:

I'm a hard level to beat
I am the Queen Bee
I almost fell for all your tricks
But you never met a girl like this
Best believe I'll put up a fight
Before I let you win
I will make sure
You never hurt a girl again

Chorus x2

I didn't wanna tell her at first
But now I think its time
To be a true friend
And admit to all my lies

I got caught up in the web
And now I'm struggling
I never thought I would get stuck
Now all I do is hurt
I feel like I betrayed all her trust
I just hope she'll forgive me
When I tell her
To open her eyes and see

Bridge:

Baby,
I'm sorry,
You can't win this game
You fought your side
But I won't die
Just stop playing

Chorus.
Needs work
Feb 2015 · 741
Hush Little Baby
Talula Feb 2015
I keep telling myself
Don't cry
Don't cry
Hush little baby,
wipe those tears from your eyes
I know you told
Some pretty lies
But now is not the time
To break and fly

Hush little baby,
It's gonna be okay
Things will get better
Eventually
I know it hurts
Really bad now
But you never know
How things'll turn out

Hush little baby,
Take a deep breath
Before you can't
Ever again
Just calm down,
Dry those tears
I'm sure someone
Is still there

Hush Little Baby,
Don't say a word
The more you say
The more you'll hurt
It's better that you try to forget
Just wait until the end of it
Feb 2015 · 665
Hurricanes
Talula Feb 2015
There once was a girl
Theres a surging sea inside her
And a screaming storm
That causes the waves to roll
And grow ever so large

Theres a sailor stuck
On a small boat
And he's being tossed and turned
He's stranded at sea
He doesn't even remember how he got lost
Or why he can't find land
He's alone

The waves inside her are her emotions
Surging,
Painfully surging
The sailor is her personality
Lost, unsure of where it stands
Or what it is

She is a lost soul
With a dozen hurricanes
Inside her frail body
Making her weaker
Till it destroys the sailor
And her life
This needs work. A lot. But  I'm in my feelings atm, so I needed a way to vent.
Feb 2015 · 9.5k
Lost Trust
Talula Feb 2015
I'm sorry
It's all my fault
I didn't mean to hurt anyone
But what's done is done
Not everyday
That you lose TWO people you love

Trust is fragile
It's like a rare glass vase
One tap too hard and it shatters
And it might never be fixed
Or it may take forever to replace
Trust is like a bucket of water
Balancing on the tip of a needle
One little blow
And it can be gone
Just like that

Trust is like a rare treasure
One only few people ever find
But I fear I've lost mine

But I swear I'll search
To the ends of the Earth
Till all that treasure is regained
Because, my dear friend
I'll do anything for you
You mean everything
You are my everything
I'm so sorry Jennesiss. Please, please forgive me.
Jan 2015 · 698
Dear No One
Talula Jan 2015
Never been one of those girls
Who think they deserve the world
But I must admit it would be nice
To have someone who would
sacrifice
It all just to see me happy

Sitting at home
I got nothing to do,
Never been the cuddling type
But I wouldn't mind cuddling with you

I won't ask for much
All I want is all his love
Someone who'll hold the key
Give all his love to me
Just because
Oh,
Dear No One
Oh....
Dear No One
Jan 2015 · 432
Dear No One
Talula Jan 2015
Never been one of those girls
Who think they deserve the world
But I must admit it would be nice
To have someone who would
sacrifice
It all just to see me happy

Sitting at home
I got nothing to do,
Never been the cuddling type
But I wouldn't mind cuddling with you

I won't ask for much
All I want is all his love
Someone who'll hold the key
Give all his love to me
Just because
Oh,
Dear No One
Oh....
Dear No One
Jan 2015 · 1.2k
It Doesn't Matter
Talula Jan 2015
I say it doesn't matter,
But oh, how much it does
I know things aren't how you want them to be,
But can't you try a little harder?
I don't want to tell you
How much I care
Out of fear
That it won't make a difference,
I want you to hug me close
So I can hear your heart,
I want you to touch me
Whenever I'm upset
Because I felt I was being torn apart;
I just want someone
To  be there
I want you to kiss my cheek
No matter who is around,
I want you to sweet talk and flirt with me
No matter how it sounds

I say it doesn't matter - but oh, how much it does
I just want affection...
Is that asking for too much?
I have no outside communication
Jan 2015 · 299
You Win~ Draft
Talula Jan 2015
Pain runs thorugh my veins
Tears on the window pane
Why should I stand,
If you'll only push me down again?
Feeling so alone
Like I have no hope
Of ever finding a heart to call my own

What will be the end of it?
Won't you stop this torment?
I guess you won't stop till I mutter
You win
Dec 2014 · 578
Dear God #1
Talula Dec 2014
Dear God,
I am not perfect
Nor will I ever be
I thank you for understanding that
And standing by me

I thank you for setting me free
From all the burdens and the pain
For forgiving me for my sins
Ones I probably commit again and again

I thank you for guiding me
And keeping me safe
For always having that umbrella over me
For being my escape

Dear God,
I know I'm not perfect
Nor will I ever be
Yet despite the fact
You will always love and cherish me
Dec 2014 · 779
It's not love
Talula Dec 2014
You make me happy
And I always smile
But It's not love
No, I'm not in denial

Your eyes are so pretty
And I hope you don't catch my stare
But I know it's not love
Finding that is rare

You make me nervous
I can barely stand
But I know it's not love
I don't think I can

For hours on end
You're all that's on my mind
But I know it's not love
That only happens once in a lifetime

What if it IS love?
What do I do?
Is it weird if I asked
If you love me too?
You guys told me not to stop writing, so here it is. Thanks for all the support.
Dec 2014 · 956
For Some Reason
Talula Dec 2014
For some reason untold
I feel nothing when I write these words
They used to be my refuge
When the world was crashing down
Yet, for some reason
They don't mean so much now

For some reason
I read the things
That pours from another's heart
How these words are keeping them
From being torn apart

For some reason
I wanna let it go
what was its meaning?
I no longer know
For some reason
I can't understand
My poetry dosen't mean...
Anything

I figure
What's the point
If my words
No longer
Want to be heard

I'll still write
I just won't share
It won't make the diffrence I always dreamed
If no one cares

For some reason
I think it's time
To give up my rhymes
Set down the pen
And when I pick it up again....
Maybe they'll listen
I think I'm just gonna like people's poetry and repost a few, but I think I'm gonna take a break with writing. It doesn't seem to be getting anywhere and none of its any good. So, dear pen and paper, keyboard and computer....I bid you...farewell.
Talula Dec 2014
Slowly
I'm rising
To the very very top
It may not happen today
But I'm never gonna stop
They try to make me discouraged
Yell those evil words
For some reason you don't know
They no longer hurt

*Chorus
I had just realized how long this song was...it ***** but...
Talula Dec 2014
I'm like a little caterpillar
Tryna make it in the world
But to all the other people
I'm just a little girl
There's no way that I
Could ever get my dream
What's so special about me?

I believe
That I can achieve
Anything
So I'm breaking all the barriers
Watch out, I'm coming through
I can only grow stronger
Gonna do what I wanna do
I'm breaking away
I'm ready to soar
And fly through the open door

Chorus:

I'm saying
Bye bye
You can't bring me down
I'm flying so
High, high
No one can make me drown
Remember when you said
I couldn't make it, couldn't take it
Just look at me now
You said
I would fall
I would never reach the top
But your stuck on the ground
I'm saying bye bye
Watch me fly
Leave you behind
Bye bye

Like a little flower
Everybody sees me as small
But I know one day
My day to blossom will come
Like a little flower
I'll grow big and strong
And like a little flower
I'll make the world more beautiful

But I'm just a little girl
Tryna survive a hard hard world
How could I ever get my dreams
What's special about me?
.....

I'm letting the Lord lead the way
He'll guide me
You can do anything
He'll help you
Don't listen to what people say
Just believe
You can achieve
Everything

*Chorus
Dec 2014 · 355
Now I Can Rise
Talula Dec 2014
I felt so small
Like I was itty bitty
A big disgrace
Not worth a penny
Like nobody would care if I was gone

I wanted to dissapear
Go anywhere
But here

But I guess
what's done is done
I wanted to start over
Restart my life
He had stabbed my back
The turned the knife
But through the pain and darkness
I saw the light
And now,
Finally
I can rise
Dec 2014 · 365
I Thought I Could Fly
Talula Dec 2014
I thought I could fly,
so why did I drown?
I believed I was strong
But look at me now
I'm sitting here crying
And I can't stop the tears
It feels like I've lost everyone
But were they ever here?

I built my foundation
But its falling apart
Its slowly breaking
Just like my heart
I say I'm okay
But I've never been so wrong
I've been living with open wounds
For far too long

I'm seeing my friends
My sisters
Fading away
I'm trying to tighten my grasp
I need them to stay
They know how it hurts
They know how it bleeds
I'm slowly losing
Everything
Oct 2014 · 279
The love Ive found in you
Talula Oct 2014
Staring
at blank walls
Wondering
Why the colors gone
I've been lost
In my mind
To escape
The outside

The evil
I have seen
Has all but
devoured me
My only
Refuge
Is the love I've found in you
Oct 2014 · 363
Goodbye Letters
Talula Oct 2014
The river asked for a kiss
I wanted to see if I could fly
The knife fell in love with my skin
My heart wants to stop so I'll die

The pills made me feel so good
The liquor made glad
The smokes make my heart dance
I can't remember where I'm at

Woke up with some guy
I'd never even met
He said he loved me
I had been the best one yet

This is not the life
Not the life I dreamed
I am so dissapointed
I am ashamed of me

Look at who i am
The monster I've become
Letting my life go
I want another one
I can't let go
Can't slip thru the gates
Doesn't matter if I feel like giving up my place
Here I will stay
Fighting till my day comes
that the Lord takes my soul
I wanna look nice
When such a day comes

The fire burned in all the right ways
The rope bruised my throat
The bridge is over a river of concrete
Wonder if I can float

Left a note by my mothers bedside
Clear for her to see
By the time she reads it
Angels will have taken me

I close my eyes
Count to three
The gun is to my forehead
Trigger finger ready
My brother runs in
Before I pull
Instead of yelling
He pulls me close

"I love you" he says
Again and Again
"You can't leave me,not yet"

I look around
And I smile
My goodbye letters
on the ground
I've got no more tears to shed
I'll be ok in the end
Please see that ending your hurts others as well as yourself.PLEASE KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE!! You may not find them easily, but there are some out there. I love you all in a sense...and rememberize this: LIFE IS TWISTED, THATS EHAT MAKES IT SO BEAUTIFUL.
Oct 2014 · 286
Never Again
Talula Oct 2014
Tryna smile
trying to hide
can't let them see
what i keep inside

act like im ok
Nothings wrong
I can't say
So I Just move on

Slowly its killing me, tearing me down
Trying to scream but i can't make a sound
stabbed in the back
They all turned the knife
Got open open wounds
But I'll be alright

If I go down
They'll know they win
They won't hurt me now
Never again

They said they cared
They said I mattered
In the end
My heart was shattered

I didn't give them
what they so desperately desired
So they let me go

I could barley stand
On my own two feet
What made me think
He'd forever carry me?

If I can help it
I refuse to feel that pain
Fall blindly in love?
Never. Again.
Talula Oct 2014
I hide
I run
Hitting brick walls
Everywhere I turn
I Try
to stop time
But can you escape your own mind?

It's crazy
I'm breaking
Slowing
fading
Away
Wear a smile
So they can't see
Wear a mask
Hide all my insecurities

I hide
I run
But I'm hitting brick walls
Everywhere I turn
I try
To stop time
Get to a better place
But tell me
How do you escape your own mind?

I'm scared
I'm crying
Can no one see
I'm breaking inside
Who will save me
From the darkness
That dwells in my own mind?
Oct 2014 · 1.7k
Sing me a song
Talula Oct 2014
Let me lean against your chest
and listen to your heart
let me cry out all my feelings
and take away the hurt
as I slowly go crazy
come closer to me
and sing something I need to hear....

I want you to sing to me
and say
im your one
and
only
that you'll never let me go
and ask
"How many times can I say I love you?"

Sing me a song
That'll put me to sleep at night
That'll be my comfort
When your not holding me tight
Please,baby, please
Just for tonight
Sing me a song
Sing....me....a song

Let the lyrics
Flow over me
my blanket
When I'm
Shivering
I want your voice to ring in my head
Reminding me you love me
Over and over again

I want you to sing to me
and say
im your one
and
only
that you'll never let me go
and ask
"How many times can I say I love you?"

Sing me a song
That'll be my lullaby
My comfort when you can't hold me tight
Baby, please
Just for tonight
Sing me a song
Sing me a song
Sing....me....a song

Let me lean in your chest
And Listen to your heart
Let me cry on your shoulder
As I fall apart
Sing quietly in my ear
Here's what you'll say
"Baby, I love you forever and always"

Oh,oh,oh

I want you to sing to me
Baby your all I need
You give me strength
You catch me when I fall
Baby sing me a song
That will last for,ev,er
Never forgotten
In my mind
Till the day I die

Sing
Me
A song
Please sing me a song
Just sing me a song
Baby, sing us a song
Was longer, then my internet crashed. I forgot half the lyrics....btw this is a song.More lyrics will be added later.
Oct 2014 · 445
Scrapbook Page
Talula Oct 2014
Used to be real
Use to be true
Use to feel love
Until I lost you
Now that love
that I remember so faint
Is just a memory
On a scrapbook page
Oct 2014 · 240
What is love?
Talula Oct 2014
What is love?
For the longest time
This question ran through my mind
I never could find a straight answer

Looked it up
Not much luck
I could never really get a good understanding

Then he helped me see
What love could be
And it finally made sense

When I met you
That's when I knew
Love has no definition
It is a feeling that gives you a tingling sensation
And half the time you don't know your smiling

It's what makes us the same
What makes us diffrent
What keeps the light in an otherwise dark world

Love is confusing, love is strange
But love is everywhere, and cares for everything
Love is magic that can never be exposed by studying it
It just is what it is
And it's wonderful
Tried to rhyme it, this poem is kinda lame, but I came up with it in a dream and it's kinda shady with the details.
Oct 2014 · 342
It Rained that Day
Talula Oct 2014
Locked away my heart
Threw away the key
no, not this time
No one can hurt me

I let it fall
I watched it sink
That girl you knew is gone
I am no longer me

I wander the world lost
Just follow what they say
Maybe they'll leave me alone
Maybe the voices will go away

I wonder if anyone
Will ever break into the safe
Where I keep my heart
Where I keep it caged

I've just been living blind
Keep my feet on the ground
Can't find the rainbow
Only hear the thunder sound

I've given up
Will anyone ever save me
Save me from myself
Will they help me see

I am scared and confused
Wish I knew who i could trust
I don't know what to do
I am forever lost

So I've blocked out the whole world
Wear a fake smile on my face
I stood there crying
It rained that day
Sep 2014 · 270
Not Alone
Talula Sep 2014
You know
I may not follow the trends
Got a million best friends
Or
The center of attention
No
Not everyone knows my name
Got a style that stays the same
But
I'm doing my own thing

Me,me, me
All I ever wanna be
Yep
I ignore your opinion

Tired of this long highway
Tired of  going straight
Tired of listening to what people have to say
I'm taking the next turn
It's gonna be a bumpy road
But I wanna make my own path
And I know I'm not alone
May 2014 · 430
Broken
Talula May 2014
Broken Mirrors
Ugly Scars
Pouring tears
Broken hearts
When Your feeling all alone
You can call my heart a home

Broken glass
On the floor
Against your wrist
You just can't take no more
No more

See the blood
On your clothes
Pounding fist
On the door
Will you please just let us in
We only wanna stop the hurtin'

I'll be there when when the bomb drops and troubles rise
I'll be there when the pain starts and you start to cry
I'll be when you need me
No matter how or when
My friend
Who's broken
This is song, it goes to the  rhythm of "Ill be there " . I wrote it for my friend who had been cutting herself.
May 2014 · 342
The Real Me
Talula May 2014
I've been trying my best
The very I best I could
To treat everyone
Just like I should
Trying to follow all the trends
True to keep up with my best friends
But I'm starting to grow tired

I think it's about time
I take off the mask I've been hiding behind
Show the world my true colors
So they can see
The real me
This is actually a song

— The End —