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As I lay here alone
Unable to sleep
My comfortable bed
Brings no peace to my mind
I lay paralyzed
Alone
with my thoughts

And as the hours flee
Lay my mind and I
Beside each other, imprisoned
I am trapped

There is nothing I can do
But lay helplessly
As I fight to escape these visions
Who force themselves in
And bring my mind no rest

These tormented memories
Hear not my sorrow
and will not accept my forgiveness
My fears remain restless
And tear at my mind
Until i can take no more
And in my utter desperation
They hear not my cries
They accept nothing
For the burdens of times passed
I can not rid this curse
Forever I lay uneasy
Cowering in my own fear
Crawling before the darkness
Which once promised to lift me up

I would pray for forgiveness
But within this darkness there is no light
How could I even consider that they would forgive me
When I can't even forgive myself
This helplessness
It is eternal

i beg of you
please help me
i wish to reveal a most precious thing
as Spring has begun
my dearest Daddy’s Birthday is done

he is not a man of celebrations
i want to disclose this personal’s manifest

as his blueprint, i am really beatific
i am very fortunate to be able to recollect
all and everything

to be your beloved daughter
is one most precious and delightful evidence

such a coziest feel to have you in my presence
you embody all that is calm and peaceful
no other impervious Daddy then you, my handsome sensitive

your BirthDay, dearest Daddy is never nebulous
the reputations you left us are all fabulous

you told me tales, they are in fact realities
you are one of a kind, your mind so sublime
you constantly cared and loved me, i am your prime

i love to tell superlatives about you
you deserve the most, dearest Daddy,

i am very proud of you, of your humor and your visions
your cartoons, drawings, and your fascinating paintings
you conjured magic in all your writings

C.C. was your weekly talkings
Charlie was your weekly walkings
in the world of Charlie Chan

i am very fond of you, my very talented Daddy
i know your world too, owned by you as a stage performer….
i remember everything, every detail hidden in my mind

i wish to reveal the most precious thing
last night i went to your place, i was wondering
you were not there, i started sobbing….

© Sylvia Frances Chan
21st March 2017
May he rest in Peace. May he have a Happy BirthDAY in Heaven on the 21st March on Tuesday....
He died too young too soon, my greatest grief on that day.
The Lord gives, the Lord takes at His Time....
Better off
Just living as a plant
I would assume
They don't need to
Work all their life
Don't have anybody
Talking bad about them
They don't need
To pay attention
In school
Best of all they can die
Yet be reborn again
Next season
Fool
Lighted
A
Match
Every day in my heart
Focus On Me
I can tell your curious
Written on your lips
I here doing what I like
When  ur here
      Focus On me
Ur the ****
No one likes
I want to pluck you
Pain
Extracted
Reaching
Internal
*****
Damage
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