I'm avoiding you because I feel like I'm starting to like you. All I wanted to do was talk to you for hours and think about you. And I don't like that. I don't want to like you.
I don't want to like you because you distract me. I prefer talking to you than to do my assignments. I prefer staying as late as 4 am just so I could talk to you-- even if i had to wake up at 6 in the morning for college.
I don't want to like you because every time I eat food I always think about you-- how you like bananas and black rice and sausage and basically everything. Or that every time you have your dinner and it's sleeping time for me already. Yet I have to stay awake just so I could know what you are eating.
I don't want to like you because you talk a lot about girls or anyone from your past, I hate it. At first I tried to deny it. Simply because I wanted to be a good friend to you by listening to your endless rants-- endless rants about girls from all over the world.
I don't want to like you because you don't go to school. I love the idea that you grow by exploring the world-- but at the same time I happen to dislike you for not valuing education as much as I do.
I don't want to like you because all you do is drink in bars and get high at times. I know it's part of your culture, but I am different from you and I hate it. I hate that I don't drink a lot or that I haven't experienced getting high. I hate that I don't kiss spontaneously with someone in public and have never experienced genuine love with someone-- like you did, few months ago.
I'm not like you. I'm not as fun as you are. You are cool, spontaneous, funny and always filled with adrenaline. I find that terrifying.
I have to stop liking you because I can't handle the two possibilities that might happen when you read this. I don't want to be rejected by you, nor to pursue this friendship any further. I know I'm not ready yet.
*All I know is that I like you and I have to stop it.
