Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Paige Mar 2015
It feels like I've lost
the battle that I used to think
was under control.
But it isn't.
I have less hair now,
than I did a year ago when
I had a pixie cut.
I never thought about how
much more
discouraging it could be
to lose hair once it's longer.

I wish I knew how to control this.
Paige Feb 2015
I've been pulling out my hair
faster than I can grow it.
Frustrating isn't even the word
I would use to describe this.
I fear that one day I could wake up
and it will be gone.
I wish I could wake up one day
and it will be fine.
But I know that this is my
mountain to climb,
and even as I sit here twirling
the hair that I never imagined
would be at this length;
around my finger,
I know that one day I'll be
on the other side of this
and wonder how it ever happened.
Paige Jan 2015
Today I was made aware
of someone who battles
with the same thing I do.
Instantly, I felt so much
sadness for her,
knowing that she struggles
the way I do and feels
the same pain and hopelessness.
I just hope she has an outlet,
like writing has been for me.
It's funny,
that I have known her
for awhile and never knew.
Just like me,
she has become the master
of faking it.
It pains me,
because she is still in High school
and is still so young.
I just want to tell her to
not let it hold her back,
or destroy any chance at
confidence and happiness.
She can still find love,
someone will want to help,
and support her and make her
feel beautiful every day.

She told me something that
has warmed my heart more than
anything else has in a really long time.

She said, *it's good to know I'm not alone.
A girl I used to be in Marching Band with saw my Instagram post about the tangle I bought. She told me that it really makes a difference and actually ended up helping me by realizing the same thing she did. We are not alone.
Paige Jan 2015
Run
Have you ever just felt like running.
As though you're trying
to escape something that's
been chasing you
for years.
But it's too bad you can't
run from yourself.
There are too many mirrors
to face,
that expose the ugly truth
that you created.
So you can run all you want,
but you'll never be able to hide.
Paige Dec 2014
The past 24 hours
have brought about so
much anxiety,
the fact that I even have
hair left is a miracle.
I'm running on almost no sleep,
hardly any food,
and my stomach has been
****** up all week.
Paige Dec 2014
I can't sleep.
I've been laying in bed
in the dark
tugging ferociously
at my hair.
I would be terrified
if I looked in a mirror
right now.
Once everything else
is turned off
and all I can hear is the sound
of my fan,
my mind turns on.
Endless thoughts,
and even the cherry on the
end of my cigarette can't
burn them out.

Maybe I should smoke
another bowl,
and tie my fingers together.
Paige Nov 2014
I have realized that in a way
writing so much on here
about all of my sadness and
anger and longing has not
been good for me.
It's unhealthy.
Letting myself wallow
in pity and keeping quiet
about my feelings.
It triggers me to pull my hair
because of my anxieties,
just being there to read and re-read.
I want to be happy and healthy
and be okay with the life
I have.
I was afraid to write positively
because I fear that you readers
don't like that as much as
when I write about the crap in life.
But I'd appreciate the support.
We're all on the
pursuit of happiness,
just, sometimes it takes
awhile to get there.
Paige Sep 2014
I've been pulling all
night long.
Watching as each strand
of hair falls from my fingers
into my lap.
I'll notice the difference
tomorrow and feel angry and
embarrassed about what I've done.
I know that I'm
doing this,
but it's also not my fault.
I can't stop and nothing could be
any worse.
Paige Sep 2014
You're probably going to
think I'm kidding or
being over dramatic,
but I honestly do
dream about shaving all
of my hair off every day.
I would rather see nothing,
than this sad, ugly,
****** up mop on my head.

I think I'm going to get my
hair cut later..
Paige Sep 2014
I was afraid of what
I saw in the mirror,
as I brushed my hair
back, after I got out
of the shower.

I didn't know it was that
b a d .
Next page