I met you by chance
Became your friend by choice
But when I fell for you, it was beyond my control
And being in love, perhaps be God's will - His punishment and His
         gift for me. But honestly, this too is my wish and will.

I want you to know I am just another chess player
Afraid to loose you, afraid to loose my queen on the chess board
I like your beauty, and value your person - that is how special you
          are to me
But it was your heart and soul, that I am in love with.

I once read...
not to "love too much, hope too much or trust too much
because that too much
is going to hurt you so much"

But I still choose to give you
my all... and still give you too much of this all
for I may be the only one who will ever love you like this
and I hope you remember me and appreciate my efforts

At the very least I hope
that if someday I die, I expect not you to shed tears for me
but at least remember me
and that I love you and I always will.

As I said,
"and as I fall, I will give you my all
you may not be the first, but I wished you are the last
and for you I will not rise above the rest, but rise above the best."

Remember it rains
because it's too heavy in the clouds
Tears too fall
because it's too painful to keep it in

Finally, let me lie in bed
and let me fall asleep and pray it be quicker
before I fall apart
before my tears fall

But remember I did give you my all
Guess just unlucky you didn't fall
But still know that one day if you need me
come knock at my door or message me and I will always welcome
           you with open arms...

I knew it
My past will be too hard for you to accept
I might never be as honest again as I was to you
I fear that curiosity killed the cat, but honesty killed my chance

But such is my resolve,
I may have lost my chance and it will hurt you
But if it will give you a chance to a happier or brighter future
then I don't mind throwing away this worthless life of mine

Please judge me not from the choices I made
when you never knew the choices I had to choose from
It's okay if you will never accept me, I'm used to it
But please don't forget that only I, only I love you this much

Believe me,
I am not so bad, when I have someone to love and protect
And truth is, everyone will hurt you perhaps more than I did
But, you just have to find the one worth suffering for... I guess I
        wasn't the one hahaha

I at least can say I bore no ill will
when I incidentally hurt you in the past
I hurt you not for selfish reasons
but purely out of love, to give you a shot at a brighter dream

I might be a monster to you,
a self-centered one
but it does not mean I don't have a heart.
But, I became selfless for your sake.

Don't worry I'm used to this pain and rejection
Being an option and being left out
I'm sick of it, but it makes me strong
I'm used to it, but it does not mean it doesn't hurt

Such is the fate of the monster...
to fall in love with people you can never have.

If I was a demon,
And if she was a book,

She is indeed the most precious book
that I ever set my hands and laid my eyes on.

She is the most beautiful book
that I read, loved, love and I will always love
but will never have.

Such is the curse bounded to me,
forever bounded to the depths of leviathan.

She has taught me, a demon, two things
Nearly impossible things for a demon to learn...
How to smile and how to cry.

Below is my philosophy and such is my curse...
the definition of love and beautiful.

Things are beautiful because you can never have them

like the beautiful purple rose in a midst of blue and red roses
but can never reach the purple rose because the others will *****
        you to death

And if you must love, love with all your heart
but never expect anything in return

For you might be the only one who will love her that much,
but if your love goes not returned
it will hurt
so expect none
so it won't hurt more than this...

(I suggest read this slow and feel it HAHAHA)
Again,
she has taught me, a demon, two things
How to smile and how to cry...

Looking at me like I'm a ghoul
So treat me like a fool
And use me like a tool
But, I'll still act cool

I will not apologize for who I am
But I will for all the tears I caused you
Cast me like another sham
And I hope you know not, that what I feel is true

Naught am I charming
Neither enlightening or inspiring
In fact, I know I'm boring
But never know I walk a tightrope string

I'm happy to see you smile with someone else
Just a bit painful to know
that you never smiled at your best
even if I gave you all of my own

What you think is mere empathy
Is just a part of what the whole true
And what you call jealousy
Is what I call fear of losing you

In your eyes I see where yonder lies
And delicate lips with rosy cheeks
Strewn with hair darker than new moon nights
Along a gaze plenty beguiling
A daughter of dulcet and regal
A fine niece for noble and faithful
To whom Aphrodite humbly kneels
Always your smile transcends enchanting.

Kiss the winds and waves goodbye
Empty your heart out into the sky
Zip your worries and everything will be fine
I will be here for you
Amidst, thorny roads, six feet below, horror movies or even hell
Help will come, I will send you an angel

May joy and laughter come your way
Adrift away you may lay
Remember even Hades and Tartaros will say
U may stay and have your way

Press your sword deeper into the foe
And you are sure to make them woe
Soar high and go far
Indulge yourself with the brightness of the star
Only you will ever know
Naught will you ever make you fade... warmer, brighter than a red rose, cooler and calmer than a blue rose too

You are the precious purple rose... :))

Too scared to hit that follow button
Too anxious to hit that wave icon
Too uncertain to message when she's on
All I need is a little bit of push to go on...

To let me hit that add friend, like, love, and follow button...

I thought I was a demon,

I was born in the wrong place
Entered the world at perhaps the wrong time
Raised in twisted culture
And horrid beliefs
Pretended to be righteous
but not even once was I pious
Blood was my sister
and death was my brother
This family was my comfort and pain
that raised me in perhaps the vilest of ways

I spoke most lies
Heard the people's cries
What I saw with my eyes
All sorts of guise
I guessed I was born to bear this yoke
For only I can take this walk while everyone gawks

As you see all of these is in the past,
was...
born, entered, raised, pretended
spoke, heard, saw and guessed...

But,
Just like anyone else
I have eyes that see good and evil
Nose that tells right from wrong
Mouth that speaks either true or false
Ears that know of joys and woes
Hands that caress and punched
And feet that carried and stepped on someone else...

I too have a mind that thinks
Worlds different from yours, but in darkness I wish not in the abyss I sink
I too have a heart
Just like yours...
that was burned, cheated, broken and bent
but I'm proud of it...
because even if it experienced too great a pain
It's still working and keeping on

Judge not the choice I made
when you do not know the choices I had to choose from
I may have been too bad
worse at places
and worst at times
too dark
too angry
too lonely
too sinful
too evil
too sad...
But I too, have heart
Making mistakes in the same way you do
I too am human just like you.

If you ask me,
"How are you?"
I'll answer, "I'm Okay"

But please set me free
If I were to be true,
Slowly I decay

So reach out that hand, I guess
But know that I'm a mess
I barely do my best,
But perhaps in you I'll find some rest

So ask me once more
"How are you?"
I'll still answer, "I'm Okay"

So hug me tight as if at world's end
And tell me, "It's fine... I know you're not, your heart has a huge dent."
If that happens, please forgive me if I cry

Because up until now, I lived telling myself everyday
"Things are gonna be okay,
I am Okay"

And that is my little stage play
In reality, I no longer see the light of today
and I hope meeting you
will help me become true
True to say one day that I am
"Finally, really... okay..."

A red rose is warmth
It is love
A blue rose is a phantom
It is refined guise
A purple rose is a special someone
Warmer than red and cooler than a blue one
A yellow rose is joy
Closely knit with the sun
An orange rose to represent enthusiasm
Fascination and passion
A pink rose for appreciation
Light but pretty
A white rose for purity and spirituality

How about a green rose?
Unique one but common like any other hue of a leaf
But think not about that
Deeper something lies

A black rose then?
Perhaps it is dead, a demonic, forlorn or forgotten
Yet remember this rose is a rose too just like all of you
Just planted on the wrong ***,
raised in a vile way,
watered with poison and plucked from the depths of Tartaros

How about I?
I am the BloodyRose
I may be any of the these roses
Oftentimes, I dream a field of white roses soaked in blood
I like the red rose
Because I too have a heart
Aspire to be a blue rose
In search of a refined self
Like the purple one,
because she has a share in the world of blue and red
I'm more of a green one
Because I myself don't understand
But I portray myself as a black rose...
Only when the other roses reach out will they see the true me.

In the end what matters is not my color,
but the hand that reaches out to me.
What will change me is the hand
who tries to understand me and cares for me.
Just as God is the shepherd to a sheep
A rose needs a gardener too.

I am the BloodyRose - rose soaked in blood...
It matters not whatever color I am
Because as long as my master gardener is here...
My color matters not...
All that matters is that hand reaching out to me
that plucked me
and took care of me...