Dougie wept
because his zip-off chiffon sleeves
had blown away in a strong gust of wind
that issued from a nearby kebab shop.

Don’t cry for him, though.
He knicked ‘em from a mad old woman.

The knights of old around the table sat
One got fat
One got high
And the other had only one eye

They went to rescue the fair maiden
They thought she needed save'n
But when they got there
They were unaware
She'd married that **** dragon
It was something hard for them to fathom

The fat one right down he sat
Not looking, and in dragon **** went splat
The high one pulled out his pipe
He didn't see why all the hype
The one with one eye started to cry
He was such a sensitive guy

The maiden ask why all the fuss
But they looked at her in disgust
Then in unison they shouted out from their armor of rust

We weren't invited to the wedding!!!!

i think i feel every single tiny
earthquake
in my big bed
alone
[which i love]
because inside
i am always
quaking.