I know im not here.
Even when I am.
I know my mind is awash with fear.
So I wash my hands, until they bleed, to rid myself of all that feed
Upon my soul, my mind, my sanity.
I care not for the worlds vanity.
The towels stained red, with the blood of my palms.
As the sun breaks the misty horizon.
I yawn with dark eyes and dry, peeling skin.
Because I am Finally clean.
To welcome the dawn.

When I'm wide awake
At 4 AM
My mind still buzzing while my body is shaking
A tear rolls down my pale cheeks
As I clutched and pulled and begged at the sheets
My hands red, raw, with a thousand tiny lacerations
The train of my thoughts not stopping at stations
As my conciousness fades, an attempt to stall,
the inevitable breakdown.

And I fall
And fall.