i retain the troublesome mind
i retain the honest soul
i destruct joy of all means
yet i find clarity with loathe
my envy as companion
and eyes as witness
to many dangers
and rancid crime
i retain
retain
less wonders as time eludes
no longer clean; i suffice
the horrid horrors
nightmares, terrors
at world's end
shall stop i pretend
as soul is broke
and humanity cracks

Why is that confusing?
Is my poet dying?
A lot of chaos, I'm surrounded
Never believed I will lose hope

I had tutors directing my path
I derailed, and now I'm lost
Searching for a shortcut
To get to the highest mount

The path I chose will show
The reality of hard work
The strain I should bear
Through the forest path