Artificial, superficial
Smiles, laughs and riddles.
All riddles.
Anything out of your mouth,
Through your eyes,
Through those hands
Filling me with doubt.

Can I have something good?
Am I allowed to?
This race course that I've jumped into
I've sped up way too fast.
Slow down crash.
Speed up crash.

Artificial, superficial,
Why did I ask you to let down your hair?
I look up and I see someone foreign
Claiming that if I climb
I'd get closer to her?
Right...
Your smile foreboding
Your eyes beady
Open your mouth
Flickering fork so needy
Right..
Artificial,
Insincerity in that 'interested' gaze
Superficial,
Those lips stretched wide
Plastered on your face
It only makes sense that when you laugh
I don't give a sh
Right.

Artificial...
Superficial...
That's all you'll ever seem,
In my eyes.

It’s New Year’s Eve!
Let’s get knee-walking plastered.
Don’t eat anything today,
It gets to your bloodstream faster.

It’s Saint Patty’s Day!
Let’s get ******* on green beer.
I’m Irish, so I am entitled, you see
And I won’t be again until next year.

It’s my birthday!
Let’s get plowed out of our minds.
Let’s drink everything in sight
And ***** every ***** we can find.

It’s Saturday night now!
Let’s do a bunch of beer bongs!
Anything that’s okay with my gang
It’s all good. It can’t be wrong.

It’s Fourth of July today!
Let’s have a picnic so we can drink.
But not fancy cocktails for me.
I don’t care for throwing up pink.

It’s Labor Day today!
Let’s do a chugalug contest today.
We’ll laugh at nothing at all
And drink the whole day away.

It’s a sporting event tailgate party!
Let’s get drunk together in a parking lot
And act like the teenagers we think
That we are when we really are not.

It’s Happy Hour! Hooray!
Let’s eat buffalo wings and imbibe
And hope the cop that stops us
Is okay with drunks or accepts a bribe.

It’s a bachelor party right now!
You don’t want to offend the host. Drink!
Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow
Well, it will be more sober than you think.