In time I have found
The memory of your touch has softened,
Your smile but an imprint on my heart.
It has been nearly a year now,
Since you've been gone,
But I am still
Broken open,
Waiting for you.

Just as one nightmare ends another one starts
The anxiety fades but the depression stabs me in my  heart
It’s The calm before the storm where everything is warm and the sun beams down before i am torn apart and dragged to an unknown place
the dark hole i’m immersed in has never seemed so black
i want to find a way out but something draws me back
i army crawl my way to have one good day and cut myself up on hopelessness and dismay and i may get a wave but it quickly goes away and i stand there feeling empty
the slice down my arm is dripping with red
enough to feel the pain, but not enough to be dead
i stare at the cut ******* you hopeless **** i want out of this rut but the door remains shut and i have no strength left to kick it open
would anyone care if i was no longer around
if my voice was no longer an existing sound
if i let myself bleed then maybe i’ll be free let out one last scream no one will miss me and i’ll finally be in heaven and not hell
‘cause the demons thrive here in this terrible world
it is far too scary for this innocent girl
just grab that knife don't you dare think twice just take your life this place is not nice but i stop and breakdown crying
goodbyes must be said to the ones who may cry
i wish them luck in this world full of lies
i’ll miss them but i can’t keep opening my eyes
to the void places that lurk outside
i can't hide
i can’t escape
so all i do is never wake