cease my dance and ask why I don't smile
I've laid down my wants and needs
I've ignored what I know to be true
all so you could have your throne.
drowning in a pool of my self-loathing
and you want to see me splash, perform
all I am melting down to be bite-size for you.
breaking down to my nerves and fibers,
cause you want to see me rip myself to shreds.
you want me in a corner so I won't call for help
isolated from everyone who cares so I won't
tell anyone how I really feel
no space in your arms, I feel heavy in your heart
I've crushed myself like a soda can
no air, no light, no exit art
take this sadness for what it is
wishing I'd only parted from you then
"thus much let me avow"
you killed what good I had left
bruised the happy I should have now
decay replaces the once vibrant green.
poised at the ready to take one for the team.
selfish as it may be, I can't breathe.

perfection is hard when you're not
it bolsters confidence but proves nothing
still average but now everyone can see
im just here running away from me.

aren't I pretty, sometimes refined;
a whole vibe check inclined
with riddles, jokes, and poems on a dime?

i shatter with the slightest nick
a vase teetering on the edge
waiting to spill over, the next avalanche.
i bruise with the wind:
my attempts never severe enough.
maybe i want to be saved,
maybe i've already given up.

the tide holds no grudge against the moon for dragging it.

there's an evil in my heart
it sings malice
and cries for help bvut no hears
she calls for revenge
and bleeds for the truth to be revealed
there's an evbil in my heart
that i cant let go of
until karma sets you ablaze
until the universe gives you back
all that youve given me.

Seem to only be myself
When I’m mad
When I wanna fight
When the world is caving in
And I can’t get past the need to scream.
Speaking up, speaking out
Just to be shut down
Never noticed the smile fade
Never batted an eye as the world within wasted away.

seem to only be yours
When I’m quiet
When I’m following your non-existent lead
Down into the depths of oblivion.
No doubt you’ll lead me to my death
No doubt the flowers will spring where I wept.
Our causality;
A casualty ripped to the marrow.
Ruining this reality;
So I dissociate,
Since I can’t amputate.

Seem to only be alive
When I’m breathing
But the air is full of sadness
And I’m choking on your ego.
I wanna learn to forget
But my love language is words.
All I hear is how much you hate me
Or wish I were someone else
As if that’s supposed to endear me to you
Make me not want to crawl into myself
Make me wish turning the wheel wasn’t so easy
The letters I wrote, may they never be read
But I know there’s only rest for the dead.

Veiled wounds in the mind
A tired soul cant use honey to catch the flies
Too many attempts, blood flows when she tries
A mirage of water in a desert;
The illusion of calm serenity
Parched and starving on your ideology
I sit wading in the dark, impatiently.
What darkness spills forth now
As the disillusionment wanes
What power in the emptiness
The numb causality of being callously tamed:

A caged animal will bite the hand that bleeds it.

you disrupt me
I'm feeling too much at once
I'm feral but only where you cant see
the line between what makes you
and what hates me
is too close
unsteady in the corners that shielded me
hoping they protect me
from what has always eaten away at me
I give too much
I feel in infinities
"Some infinities are bigger than..."
I wished and I prayed
but hope seems to lag
passive aggressively sailing on by
demanding I switch to live
urging that the way to combat
the will to give
is to take.