Sé que si te veo,
vos me mirarías feo,
y me preguntarías:
¿Así de mierda me volví?

Yo te diría sí,
y lo siento mucho por ser así.
Está bien si me odias,
yo también me odio.

No pude cumplir tus sueños,
y ahora me he vuelto
una simple máquina
que solo reacciona
a lo que le sucede.

Pero dejó de pensar
en su bienestar
y en los lazos que tiene.

Le dio igual sus amistades,
y se quedó solo
pensando en lo académico.

Lo siento.

No soy la persona
que tú querías que fuera.
Me mirarías
y solo golpearías mi cabeza,
y sé que,
aunque estés pequeña,
tratarías de matarme.

Matar a un adolescente
que su alma está muerta,
y solo se volvió
un cadáver andante.

i've got something,
a feeling of all sorts

if there's anything i have learned
through the entirety of my growth
it's to know and understand
and find the right moment
where i have to twist and wring and pull
such a tight knot in my chest,
just so none of my feelings
would sleep anywhere close
to those they are concerned for
or took birth 'cause of

barely tried for 407 hours,
simply gave up

always a mix and combination of almost
never the forever
always a something,
never the nothing's everything

i will wring out my heart
until every single drop
of this newly found heartbreak
breaks me from within
and does not seep
into anyone else's thought

but what if i meant
i wanted to disappear
only to be found
by the one who has enough time
and enough want
to actually search for me?

some days i despise
having this weak, old, ratty heart
that is attached to the tip of my finger,
not even the sleeves—
and slips itself
into the pocket of anyone
who so much as breathes

do not despise the love i feel
(even though doing the gulp of acceptance
is like drinking lemon
straight from the pet it's found in.)