There's a feeling
I sometimes get...
I am not entirely
sure I can describe
it yet.
It aches in ways
I do not recognize,
there's a shine of terror
behind my eyes.
I look at this mirror
held up to
my disguise.
It rips away all my
neat
&
pretty
little lies.

It sounds awful.
I know fully,
and not at all
this is the
experience of
  being alive.
But I'm wiser,
and better
and me
So... I keep asking
the sky why...