Sunday, the lads are on the pitch
they were ****** the night before
the other side look just as bad
not sure any are fit to score

The whistles blown, the ball is kicked
three players chase concentration on their faces
The keepers are leaning on goalposts
and seventeen are tying their laces

Number nine is running at goal
He must score, it's in the bag
the ball soars past the goalie
and hits the corner flag

By the half time wistle
there was one red card and four yellow
players were crawling off the pitch
the supporters were less than mellow

The full time score was a one all draw
the Ref blew for full time
the players headed for the bar
Twenty one pints and a lager and lime

Match clebrations went on for hours
though neither side had won
next Sunday they would play again
only to draw again, one, one

Dial-A-Party USA!
What more do I need to say?
One person shows at your place alone
And after they use your telephone
It happens quicker than you can say.
“Dial-A-Party USA!”

You get a household full
Of old and new friends
Who stick around with you
Until the party ends.
Night and day, the happy throng
Will sing and dance and shout.
Until you’ve had enough of all that
And stand up and throw them out.

Dial-A-Party USA!
It can happen any day.
All it takes is for you to be home
So, if you don’t want this, GO ROAM!
Go see a movie, and stay away
From Dial-A-Party USA!

But if you think it’s great fun
To welcome and feed everyone;
All they drink and eat and smoke
They’ll tell everybody you’re great fun.
They’re extremely dependable, but
If you have any desire to miss it
And enjoy a peaceful time at home
Keep that plan a deep dark secret!

Dial-A-Party USA!
What more do I need to say?
One person shows at your place alone
And after they use your telephone
It happens quicker than you can say.
“Dial-A-Party USA!”