races to be won, races to be lost
emotions to be felt
emotions to learn and observe
moments take over
the storm will never be over
as long as i remain aware, of the pain inflicted
by myself, decisions with cause and effect
feelings that were acted on out of neglect
we argue and we both become suspect
to our eyes, we cannot lie
for i know, the layers inside your mind
and you know mine
this morning was fine, far from good
last night made my thought process shook
asking how i define
this love that don't resemble confine
i wrote a good *** poem earlier
and it got deleted
it was time to practice
let go of the moments that threaten your being
that threaten the ties you've created to be this way
we fight until we ask ourselves what's the subject?
blurry memories, sit and reflect
to live a blurr, no mind to retrospect
moments that were delivered to my reality
moments that caused pain
derive from the unconscious
i'm aware of this, letting it happen is a burden sometimes
how do i not let it, when sometimes it only "feels" right?
how does it "feel" right to feel anger?
****
i'm still walking on a rope
but can't balance my"Self"

awareness applied
to live, to die and feel love for what's outside
live for this
for questions
for explorations
within


i have work at 11

the coffee has been brewed, but i'll let it sit and write this poem

i wonder what the people have to say today
they walk in, give us business, give us *******
who do i believe, who do i trust?
i guess i have to see beyond it, beyond that...
beyond what they think and say
how are they when they're away?
they look empty, what kind of soul? what kind of formulae
to your disarray???

i'm kind of excited....

to live today

haha....
we still on bad terms but like i have to continue to live breh...

this writing was interesting...