I used to idolize you
And I could never believe
You would deliberately hurt me
You didn't mean it
It wasn’t your fault
A million excuses
Exchanged for a million bruises
That lined my skin
In semi-permanent remembrance
of you

Five years later
I can still see those black and blue marks
That once blotted my skin
But now I am awake
And no longer oblivious
To your lies

5 years of slumber
1,825 days
Or 43,800 hours
And even 2,628,000 minutes
Of being blind to you

But the mathematics do not matter
Because you do not measure
Pain the same way
You measure time

Finally speaking, 5 years later
After being silenced by my own mind
Trapped by the fear that no one
Would understand
Let alone care

5 years of being scared and afraid
Like an animal
Who was hit too many times
Only because I was too ignorant
To run from what I thought
Was love

And now it has been three days
Since his return
Old wounds have resurfaced
5 years worth of scars
Of bruises
Of horrible, horrible memories
All oppressed by my notion
Of what love really was

I can feel my skin become tender
From where you used to abuse
Your power

But the difference now
Is that I am strong
I am not measly
Nor weak
And I will never cower
Below your shadow again
5 years of recovery
And torture and pain

But now I can live
The rest of my life
An eternity with an infinite
Amount of possibilities
Because I am not scared

Not anymore
Because after 5 years of being weak
I arise from my hibernation
And come out courageous

Look at you
Look at what you've become
You think this is happiness
Her under your thumb
Her resolve breaking down
The parts used to fix your life
Her medium of release
The blade of a knife
This is abuse
In its emotional sense
Using sadness and anger to manipulate and hence
It doesn't take much
To bring a state of vex
This relationships a cycle
Of pain and ***
*** only providing a temporay relief
Before our eyes are opened
To the strife and grief
Yet she defends you
Once said its problems at home
With each word in your defense
I think Stockholm, Stockholm
Since her resolve is crumbling
To ashes and dust
I ask myself whether its love or lust
Lust its loss
A fear of losing control
Like you did with another
Like you did as a whole
Thats why she"s your second
Thats why you're with her
A girl who never argues
Retaliates or infers
So you can remain in control
Keep her in a drone like state
Where her spirit is in your hands
Where you decide her fate
So I write this poem with the hope
That she will find
That a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind