Jafer Ali Khan: Favorites

Jul 2018 Jafer Ali Khan

emily Sarker

Leaning against the wall,
I slid down and sat there on the cold ground.
Quiet on the outside,
but in the inside
I was screaming.
With my Head on the cold dead ground
I pulled my legs in close to my body arms over my head.
I Curled up into a position that a human body merely wasn't made to find comfortable.
I lay still
So many emotions ran through my head.
To handle these emotions seemed foreign to me,
For I did not know what emotions I was feeling.
Tears streamed down my face while I lay quiet and still.
Frustration of not knowing why I was crying or if this was what it felt like when sadness took over me was driving me insane.
Yet I lay still.
Not one scream
not one change in my face
not one limb flinched.
Weak and tired I cried the tears that my body could still produce.
Until I began to fall asleep
As tiredness and failure took over me
I gave into my mind and laid still as my mind cooled down and celebrated victory with a dream

I have never been able to understand or grasp what fully happens in an anxiety attack but this poem describes the last stages of one where you give into your mind as everything gets slow and you eventually knock out from the inner war you fought against your mind. Anxiety attack are unknown to the human mind

#anxietyattack #failure #fightagainstself #panic #frusturation #confused #pain

Jul 2018 Jafer Ali Khan

The forest of darkness

Jul 2018 Jafer Ali Khan

emily Sarker

The forest of darkness

I looked into the forest
An urge of wanting to run through the trees sparked through my mind.
Run without ever stopping
till it becomes the very last memory of my disappearance.
I'll go into the places men have never been
The dark places men fear
For darkness is where depression hides
I'll Watch from a distance how the absence of my existence affects the ones I love.
Life will move on.
The absence of one person doesn't make the world wait.
While I await life to move on,
I turn green with the sickening surrounding of nature,
Depression keeps me company and away from the fruits of survival(food).
The ground beneath me becomes colder by the day.
And as time comes were I am forgotten enough from the hearts of the ones I care about,
my heart becomes empty from the absence of their love.
Depression
my only friend
takes pity on me.
fills the emptiness in my heart with darkness and lead my heart to a state of tranquility
As my heart goes
Beat-beat, beat-beat
Beat-beat
Beat
And then
Silence.

in isolation you really get to see the truth of who truly cares for you.....but sometimes the truth brings on so much heartache you become deathly weak and depression sees it's time to make a move on you.

#depression #heartbreak #deathfromheartache #isolation #truth #death #lonely

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