I found a tear in my favorite shirt
I do not understand why this hurts
it's just a simple piece of cloth
so why does this feel like such a loss
in this shirt I've been through a lot
pouring tears or deep in thought
I guess there's not much I can do
it's just your shirt, it is not you.

I guess I was the odd puzzle piece that was made by mistake.

Forgive me my nightmares,
And forgive me my fear.

you're like bolt lightning in an old bottle
irrational and far too difficult to control
but then again no different to a shouting father
screaming wildly at his helpless child
that has taken to lying through his teeth
about the demons hiding beneath the surface
of his pallid skin.

as if shouting would ever make the world
stop spinning quite as fast, or make the
sun stop glaring at the faces of the forgotten
ones who reside mainly in their houses trying
oh so hard not to break themselves in half
while attempting not to let life take them
when it's so early in the year.

i get what it's like wanting
to but can't and feeling your
insides churn with the idea
of physical tranquility
just feeling like absolute ****
and just want to pull your
insides out through your
mouth just to see if that
would make a *******
difference at all, to anything
then tying them in pretty
bows and stuffing them back
inside you in any attempt to feel
normal and beautiful and worthwhile
but knowing that in reality,
they'll just churn around inside
until you throw them back up
plus more to leave you heavy
hearted and solemn
and much much worse than before,
a shaking carcass that never
worked successfully. a body
full of bones and barely functioning parts.
liquid drips from wrists and
thighs but the world keeps
on spinning and shying
away from the sun
because no breath taken
by even the most beautiful
of people in your direction
can help it
so you sit there in the corner
feeling more nd more remorse
pile on until you feel so low
you're just a puddle
bleeding out on the
bathroom floor
and that is the best
form you'll ever take*
because it's the only one
you know.

i think back to the times
you got out of your car

i got so jealous of the streetlights
they got to hold you, all of you

i opened my window today
first time in months

your quiet smell still lurks on my walls and
i still need to let go of every part of you

we used to fight about your family
then the day after

we'd **** and
again, fall in love with each other's eyes